The Psycho Ex Wife

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If she wasn’t making my life a living hell (her words, her threat), I was going to be burning in hell.

Without the “Hell Catalog“ available, I can’t review my notes on this one, though I remember much of what went down because it was the first time (as I recall) she called the police on me. I don’t recall what the argument was specifically about though the discussion below leads me to believe it was one of her loving, spousal greetings.

Why she called the police, I’ll never know because the argument took place between two floors. I was downstairs calling up to her. She was upstairs shrieking at me so loudly I thought she would throw-up her voicebox. My best guess was that this would be the start of her attempts to establish some sort of domestic violence history or something. It wouldn’t be the last time she would call the police.

She alleges that the argument, which took place in the presence of the children (a rare event), will screw up the children for life and that she needs for them to get into counseling right away. Nevermind that she is the one who called the police, which sent them into a panic that daddy was going to jail.

From April 23rd, 2002.

PEW: you there?
LM: I am.
PEW: I think I should set S1 up with an appointment to see a counselor…..
LM: Why is that?
PEW: because after what he saw on Monday….I want to make sure he doesn’t get all screwed up. plus…. I think it’s safe to say, I won’t be going to Florida with you all. but you are certainly welcome to take the kids
LM: That’s your decision to make. I don’t think S1 is going to get “all screwed up” from seeing his parents have an argument.
PEW: well most parents don’t have to have the police come break up their arguments. he was distraught
LM: And he was calmed down.

Yes, they were distraught because their mother called the police and for no other reason. Further, the police “broke up” nothing, Drama Queen. I was sitting on the sofa in the family room with the children quietly awaiting their arrival. I had to calm them down and the police personnel were awesome about the whole situation. I was downstairs with the children. One of the officers came downstairs and I introduced myself and shook the officer’s hand. I introduced him to the boys by name (yeah, I read his badge) and told them that this was one of the people who protected our community.

He also told them that they weren’t here to take anybody to jail - they were just here to talk to us all. Keeping it brief, he asked what was going on. The only discussion we really had was that we were having a “normal argument” and that I didn’t even know she had called the police until she yelled down to me that she did. Even then, I didn’t believe her because it was silly. We were never within close proximity to one another (I explained). I was always downstairs with the kids and she was always upstairs by herself.

They would eventually ask me if I had somewhere I could go or something I could do away from the house until PEW had “sufficiently calmed down.” I did have some errands to run. Why don’t the police ever ask the woman to go somewhere to calm the hell down?

PEW: well, after the smoke clears from this….you and I are going to have a serious sit down discussion…..
LM: No we aren’t. Because I’m not going to listen to you go off about crap you fabricate anymore. I told you that before.
PEW: excuse me?
LM: You heard me.
PEW: you don’t have to listen to anything. but you agreed that if things didn’t work out….and I wanted a divorce….you’d work with me. you promised
LM: I ain’t working with anything. You ambushing me again is not you doing your part.
PEW: i’m not going to live like this anymore. excuse me, you ambushed me… you were the one screaming in my face…. with a 100 degree fever, back pain, vomiting….

This is just a complete fabrication. The argument was between two floors and the biggest reason my voice was even raised was because she was upstairs.

LM: Okay, PEW. #1 - I wasn’t “screaming in your face.” Your usual exaggeration.
PEW: well….I’ll be calling a family meeting with your parents then
LM: #2 - While I did raise my voice and was upset… you started the shrieking like a maniac at the top of your lungs.
PEW: you said Dad and C…. are coming up this weekend right
LM: #3 - What was the FIRST THING that you said to me when you came in the house?
PEW: i’ll call your mother
LM: Call whomever you want.
PEW: and i’ll talk to your father….we’ll meet with them Saturday if they have time

I never did come to understand why she thought that talking to my family was some “big threat.” She had way more to lose in doing so than I did. She probably would have done me a huge favor! However, that is also probably why she never followed through with it.

LM: What was the first thing that you said to me when you came in the house?
PEW: nothing….
LM: You want me to remind you want you said to me?
PEW: I was talking to S1. that wasn’t the first thing I said. you are going to burn in hell for the things you’ve done to me over the past eight years
LM: What was the first thing that you said to ME? I greeted you with a smile, and joked about them guys pooping.
PEW: Can you pick up my prescriptions. yeah
LM: I went into the room to finish talking to C…. And you said… THANKS FOR REMINDING ME WHAT A SUCKY FATHER YOU ARE.” Right?
PEW: can you pick up my prescriptions
LM: Isn’t that the first thing that you said? Or did I imagine that?
PEW: not sucky father asshole….sucky husband.
sucky husband. ASS. you can’t even fucking hear

OOOPS! My mistake. Sucky husband, not sucky father. Deaf, asshole, sucky husband.

LM: At least you remembered.
PEW: you just make shit up when you can’t remember…..LIAR
LM: And then you accused me of doing nothing. Right?
PEW: you are a sucky husband
LM: I’ve done NOTHING for you. I “couldn’t even do the minimum around the house.” Right? This, out of nowhere. THAT is an ambush.
PEW: you never buy me decent gifts….you don’t take care of me when I’m sick…. you’re just mediocre
LM: Back into the same cycle PEW. Save it.
PEW: you suck. you save it
LM: Try to find some semblance of reality. And then talk to me when you find it.
PEW: no. you can only trap me for so long. eventually I’ll get away from you. ASSHOLE
LM: And… you are harassing me in work again. Just like I asked you not to do so many times before. But again, you have no self-control.
PEW: i have more self control than you do. I’ve never screamed in a sick person person’s face…. I don’t even get an apology….
LM: I didn’t scream in your face.
PEW: you need help psychopath
LM: And there you go with your name calling again

Yes, that’s me, the psychopath.