When Replacing Her $1 With $25 = Stealing From PEW
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Despite the strong language and over-the-top rage from PEW, this one is as funny as it is completely twisted. If you think anything I’ve posted so far has left your head spinning, this one will make your head fall completely off of your neck.
PEW: did you take the $6 that was on my dresser
LM: No, I took the $1 (for junk food) and replaced it with $25. I had no 1’s.
PEW: oh….well that wasn’t my money….. it was a kid from work for his pants at the cleaners
My first mistake - failing to have the ability to figure out that the $6 on the dresser wasn’t hers. I guess my clairvoyance skills were not as sharp as they should have been. What a bastard.
LM: And? $25 won’t replace the $1?
PEW: i thought you [gave] me $30…..so you actually gave me $24. so i’ll put $20 in my tank and have $4 left. thanks. this is fucking unbelievable
LM: You said you needed gas money… and I was gonna grab the candy… isn’t that what we said yesterday? I thought you told me what you needed… gas & candy… I said I’d grab the candy.
PEW: i probably am going to bounce a check because I bought S1 a costume
LM: Why?
PEW: because…..I don’t make enough fucking money to buy groceries….pay all the copays….buy diapers…..and all the other shit
LM: Look… either stop spazzing on me, or go crank on somebody else. You told me that you needed money for gas and candy. Why am I now in trouble because you didn’t tell me you needed more?
PEW: you always seem to have ample monies to buy auction stuff….and any other bullshit you see fit…..like hockey tickets for your brothers birthdays….yet….when it comes to me asking for $2 fucking dollars
This is really hysterical coming from her - the woman who compulsively bought gifts for any human that was related in any way by blood to her (and sometimes several not) - despite things being tight. Of course, she’s off in her own little world. She didn’t ask for “$2″ - She asked for money to get gas and Halloween candy. I figured I’d save her a trip to the store and get the candy and she could get gas whenever she wanted. What a bastard.
For the record, I did buy stuff at auctions… which I then sold for profit on eBay as a part-time job of sorts. I guess she forgot about that part of the equation.
LM: PEW… you told me that you needed money for gas and candy, right?
PEW: you told me you were leaving me $30…. but you didn’t
LM: No, I told you that “there is $30 here on the bureau.”
PEW: you included the kid from work’s money. you’re an asshole. cheap fucking asshole
LM: No, I told you “there is $30 here on the bureau.”
PEW: i’m sick of this shit
LM: No, I told you that “there is $30 here on the bureau.”
PEW: sick and fucking tired of not having a dime in my pocket. working my ass of and not having any money for myself. fuck this. i’m not going to CAM’s tonight….. you can fucking go….you cheap fuck
Spazz much? It was Halloween and it appears the ugly monster had arrived a little earlier than dusk this year. We turned this into a humorous short-film - click here.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Ive had almost that exact conversation with my wife. I remember one occasion when I had to stop and get gas. I pulled into the station in front of our neighborhood. She wanted me to go to the gas station where gas was .08c cheaper. I said eh, its no big deal, were already here and .08c isnt that big of a difference. After 10 gallons we’ll save 80 cents.
So after gassing up we leave for the restaurant - oh, i forgot to mention I was trying to take her out to a nice dinner before i left town for woek for a week. - shes groucy and short and snotty the whole way.
We reach the restaurant and there is a sign out front that they have a special for 2 for 24.99 or something. So she tells me how im sure thats what well order because im so cheap. She goes on to tell me how she felt dismissed and belittled because I didnt listen to her about he gas station. Topping it off with ‘youre just taking me out to dinner to get what you want later anyways’
At that I backed out of the parking spot and took us home.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Oh my god is all I can say after reading both your stories…unbelievable.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Observer…you weren’t tempted to pop the passenger door and kick out the piece of trash in the seat before you took off?
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Believe me.. I was tempted.. But I losty my tmeper and raised my voice and said “Thats a really shitty thing to say, after all the sex probelms weve had lately (we rarely have sex anymore and its become awkward and wierd) and how I feel about ‘this’ tall (making a gesture with my fingers) You want to throw that out there. When you say shit like that its like stabbing me in the heart that you think so little of our sex life that you would even say that”
She just said shes not going to be yelled at and I am abusing her. She managed to tirn it all around on me and make it my fault that shes pissed because I didnt go to the gas station and my car wasnt immaculate and I didnt do this or that…
Im just not seeing a future for her and I anymore. Weve been married 5 months… And this wasnt the first or last blowout weve had liek that. Sometimes theyre much worse.
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:12 am
Um, ok.
That’s pretty much all you can say to something like that whole exchange. Although inside my head I would probably be wondering which parallel universe she happened to be in now.
Too bad you didn’t ask her what the weather was like there.
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:09 am
My forehead is wrinkled with curiosity right now. She seriously has no common sense. Crazy is as crazy does….
Do you have a lifetime supply of Tums? If you don’t you should invest. Or maybe alka seltzer?
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Oh, and I did take the kids and go trick or treating without her. Best Halloween ever!
February 25th, 2009 at 10:27 am
[...] when, I posted one of the many instant messaging exchanges between the PEW and I. It was titled - When Replacing Her $1 With $25 = Stealing from The PEW. Well, in recent days, a new website called Xtranormal has been making it’s email and web [...]