The Psycho Ex Wife

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Easter Monday, the boys have off from school. I don’t. However, I have the luxury of working from wherever I happen to have an internet connection and can access the company. I am still required to be on-site for typically half the month (more if circumstances require) - but even on days where I’m scheduled to be on site, my supervisor has no problem with me working from “home” (wherever that may be at the time) when something comes up. Next week, DW will not be with me. If she were, she would undoubtedly be home with the boys as she has done on many occasions before. Lately, much of that has been caring for one or the other as they have been sick the last 4-weeks that I have had them.

Given that this year is PEW’s Easter, I had inquired as to how to handle the exchange this coming weekend. Options offered were:

• We exchange later than normal on Sunday night.
• If she had off from work on Monday, she could keep them until exchange time on Monday.
• We exchange in the morning before work. (The exchange location is very close to her workplace, so it’s actually pretty convenient.)

She chose the last option. We both agreed in writing to it as required by the court order. This occurred last week.

Out of nowhere yesterday, this arrives in my inbox:

LM,

If your plan is to have DW watch the boys on Monday, then I’d just as soon stay home from work. I don’t know what’s going on with the two of you over there, but let me just tell you that you need to watch your temper. I’m not going to tolerate the kids being “terrified” by you. They are not to be told “what happens here is none of mom’s business”, because it IS my business, just the same as what goes on at my house is YOUR business. That’s how we keep things as NORMAL as possible. If the 50/50 thing is too much for you or it’s not working out, let me know and we can work out some alternative arrangement.

Get your girlfriend in check too. The two of you are NOT doing the boys any favors by living here two weeks per month if it’s that much of an imposition, don’t do it.

~PEW

This came to me at lunch yesterday. I have no clue what prompted it. None. No idea whatsoever. The kids had a great week. They had a fun weekend. There were no problems at all. There are certainly no problems between DW and I.

I guess it’s been too long and you can see she is fishing for an engagement. This happens when you are “low-contact“ with a psycho ex-wife.

*IGNORE*

It’s also quite a bit of projection again. This is from the woman who:

• Told the children not to tell me that PP (the psycho SIL) continues to stay overnights and babysit them on occasion.
• Told them not to discuss the sleeping arrangements when she or her sister sleep in the same bed as the boys.
• Told them not to tell me when the crazy neighbor kid (alleged friend) next door shot one or both of them with bb-guns on several different occasions… something I predicted would happen several years ago when I discovered that these children (my boys’ ages) play violent gun video games, have an arsenal of toy guns that would make the Marines jealous, act violently towards the kids and their own parents… I mean, what type of parent buys a 5 and 8 year old bb-guns for chrissakes?

Ah, my list is long and repetitive. You get the picture.

Many of my readers are in eerily similar situations. If you haven’t lived it, you can hardly imagine what it is like to go through your life having little choice but to interact with a PEW (or in some readers’ cases, a PEH). When you have no choice but to go to no-contact or low-contact, it’s up to you. When you do make that decision, it doesn’t stop the other side from attempting to contact you. You simply have to decide if it really merits a response. Most contacts, like this one, do not. They only serve to antagonize. They only serve to elicit a response, which is usually defensive. When you realize that it is not rooted in reality and will only serve to escalate the situation - you realize that no reply is necessary. This email serves no useful purpose other than satisfy her attempt to start a fight and do so for no particular reason.

It’s a shame that her life has been relegated to these meaningless, purposeless attempts to interact with me. I just want her to leave us alone unless a specific situation of importance regarding the children arises. She is simply incapable of doing that. Sucks for us.

Predictably, my no-contact prompted an escalation from here. Just click for the follow-up…