Big Confrontations (Part 4): Conclusion
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After the events leading up to Parts 2 and 3, the Psycho Family Phone Threats…. I held my ground and I stood firm on not bending to the crazy emails, the family phone threats, her threats regarding litigation, my being in contempt… I waded through her desperate phone calls to the Sheriff’s Department… and stayed the course.
Nothing was going to make me change my mind. In order to make it more convenient for her vacation with the children, I flexed and moved up the exchange date 2-days. She suggested coming down to our place to see where the kids were living while with us. I accepted and made arrangements accordingly.
And, after all of the drama, threats, calls to authorities - she came down and was on-time for the child exchange. However, given the dramatic concerns over her “safety,” she would not come to the home, so we ended up meeting at a local market a few miles from the home. How sad. She also came down with what I guess was her bodyguard - Psycho-SIL. They did so in the dreaded “piece of shit car that probably won’t make it.” That same car that had no problems going anywhere at anytime while I was the primary driver. That same piece-of-shit that always seemed to drive long distances when it was something she really wanted to do, but never seemed to be road-worthy when it came time to meet for exchanges or come down to see where the kids were living. The “piece-of-shit” defense was one used to dodge responsibilities or anything else that went against what she wanted to do or believed she was obligated to do. This was true even when ordered to do so.
Interestingly enough, our interaction was minimal. In fact, it was as if none of the drama previously detailed ever even took place. We met, the boys moved from one vehicle to the other, and they were off.
A rather anti-climactic conclusion, at least, if you actually call this the conclusion. I would pay a price for standing my ground when it would come time for my vacation with the children that was slated to start the following weekend in July of 2005.
(By the way… the “piece of shit” made it all the way here, all the way back, all the way to her parents beach home, all the way back to her house, and everywhere else she went until she got rid of it. I’m willing to be it is out there somewhere rolling up the miles even today.)
July 29th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Well, that was disappointing. Where is the drama? Where is the fireworks? This is like reading a really great book with a crap ending. I don’t know why I expected anything different to happen, our PEW is the exact same way: She has email and telephone courage enough to take on an entire army single handed, but one-on-one the best she can usually manage is a little barb spouted from the safety of her doorway. Are they all like this?
July 29th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
That sounds like our PEW. She goes off for days and then, the next time you see her, acts like absolutely nothing happened. I don’t believe she has a problem with face to face conflicts as she has blown up several times in person. I really think that she just lapses in and back out of reality.
July 29th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
This is identical to the behavior our PEW (and her entire family) displays. She/They will bluster, threaten, attempt to manipulate, present the sob story, and outright lie in order to get us to modify the custody agreement and/or give in to her out of sympathy or fear. When we refuse, she shows up at the regularly scheduled time as if nothing has happened. It’s like the threats, accusations and demands were never made–like she goes in to out of sight out of mind mode–if it’s not happening now, it must have never happened at all!
July 29th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Exact same situation with my PEG, took my some getting used to. I am a woman of my word and if I say I am going to do something I do….learning to deal with her has been experience. I haven’t been able to believe one word out of her mouth, text, or emails. I really think its multiple personalities; she doesn’t know what they all say….however usually when we have to meet her face to face she is on her best behavior……chicken!
July 30th, 2009 at 1:50 am
our PEW the same thing…and her child who lives with us..acts the same way,as something doesnt go as the teenage/adolescent/child pleases, it will throw fits, screaming, yelling, threatening the father, then pretending to have anxiety attacks, and when we ignore it, goes back on the same rampage in a few minutes, over and over again.the next day the child wants to be treated like nothing happened, and gets angry again that when it gets conseqenced. I think the child takes after the mother..sometimes I don’t know what to do.
September 16th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
OMG, my BF has a PEW also, who we think is BPD/NPD. She has: broken a beer bottle over his head, called the cops and been taken to jail when she tried to blame him for domestic violence, convinced his daughter’s he is a womanizing drunk (to the point that his well-meaning but ill-informed daughter tried to “warn” me about his cheating and it was all I could do not to tell her the truth about her mother’s cheating and various affairs that she will not confess too), and used to call his family and tell them horrible lies to discredit him.
I came to this website after performing a google search to find out how I could support him and help him as he works through a variety of different stages in his self esteem. While he is completely mentally sound, I would do anything to take away the pained look in his eyes when he has to discuss his past, her lies, and how his relationship with his daughters has been compromised by her mental illness and her unwillingness to confront it.
Like PEW, she has a huge network of enablers; her parents, her daughters, and yes, even a pyscho sister! (Her psycho brothers are deceased; one from a lifestyle-choice related illness, and the other from a substance abuse overdose). On a recent family vacation between myself, D2, & BF, D2 was constantly texted by PEW’s good friend, who kept pushing for a time to meet us through D2. BF was hesistant to introduce us as not to expose me to PEW through her friend’s gossip. Imagine my shock when the best friend just “happens” to be in the tourist town we visited with her husband’s best friend… and then asks us not to tell her husband and begins stammering that they are not having an affair. We had to spend all afternoon subjected to PEW’s phone calls telling us not to tell her best friend’s husband we’d seen her with his best friend… of course, D2 has no way of knowing that this same best friend covered up the PEW affair all those years ago.
Thank God I found a place for my hostilities so they don’t get in the way of my relationship with my BF. He is the greatest, most unabusive, caring and sexy person. He is all I could have hoped for and it is a shame that he suffered at the hands of a nutjob. But we’re a match made in heaven; my ex-bf was abusive and completed suicide after his 3rd drunk driving…
Only two more years to go. I hope with all my heart that both D1 & D2 are not inheritting their mother’s genes. It would break their father’s heart. We only want the best for them, which is why we don’t expose her for what she is. My mother died when I was 15 and I feel that any mother, even a psycho one, is better than none at all.
Thanks again for sharing your story.