The Psycho Ex Wife

Have your own psycho ex? Get a FREE Report on "Why Co-Parenting Doesn't Work", or learn how to win child custody with a custody coach.

I’ve threatened to tell this story and will do so now. Other than DW, I don’t believe I shared the circumstances that allowed me to buy a motorcycle. When PEW filed for divorce, I decided that I was going to do something “just for myself” and not allow PEW’s rants and raves to prevent me from doing so. Still, a motorcycle wasn’t possible financially, especially with a divorce looming.

As PEW is want to do - the root cause of any negative situation that she has encountered is the last most recent event via which she can blame it on me, whether it makes sense or not. She blames my purchase of a motorcycle, selfish as that allegedly was, as the final straw for divorce. Nevermind that I didn’t purchase a motorcycle (nor did I have any plans to) until April of 2004 and only because I was lucky that my father provided me an opportunity to obtain it. In fact, he essentially purchased the motorcycle for me.

The early timeline is as follows:

- She filed for divorce in January of 2004.
- She takes until May 2004 to search for and obtain an apartment.
- Motorcycle purchase occurred in mid-April of 2004.

The story goes something like this…

I had really given up the hopes that I would get a motorcycle anytime soon. Though EE, PEW’s dad, had a friend who had a nice one in storage that was a steal at the price - $3,000 - I simply didn’t have it and couldn’t justify such a purchase at that time (divorce or not). I had forgotten about it until my father told me during a phone conversation in March of 2004 - he was selling his boat. A nice boat. A boat he hardly used.

Knowing lots of people who were into boating and a couple of people who were looking for a boat - including psycho-FIL - I came up with an ingenious idea. Being an avid eBay seller and having several friends who were members of “Yacht Clubs” - I would offer to help my dad, for a price.

I asked him how much he needed to get for it. The number was $19,000. I floated the proposal: “Dad, since I’d really like to get that motorcycle, I was wondering if you would consider this idea. If I can get more than the $19,000 that you need to get for the boat, can I have the difference up to the total price of the motorcycle?” He laughed and said, “Sure.”

So I went about my business of marketing the boat. Produced color flyers with plenty of photos and a price of $25,000. My research indicated that this boat was a steal at even that price and gave me plenty of buffer in negotiations to still possibly get the entire bike paid for. My friends took the flyers to their boat clubs. Then I heard that my psycho-FIL was looking to upgrade from his old dinghy.

Another opportunity.

[Break in the story]

At this point, I’m sure you’re questioning how the hell any of this was even possible given that it was already common knowledge that PEW and I were divorcing. I don’t know. I do recall keeping direct discussion to a minimum, preferring instead to allow him to deal directly with my father except for a single negotiation session. After all, my dad was a “least-hassle” kinda guy and I couldn’t afford to have him just bail and get his $19,000. Also, the boat was more important to FIL than absolute allegiance to his daughter (at that time).

[Back to the story]

So, after several visits and EE trying to use his soon-to-be non-existent leverage as “family” to cry poor-mouth, he acknowledged that the $25,000 price was more than fair as explained to him by his boating cronies who went to see the boat with him. Still, a bit steep for his pocketbook.

I told my father that I was going to do this once… negotiate… and tell FIL that he was only willing to move a little bit, and split the difference between his purchase price limit and the asking price. $22,500. Then I left it in fate’s hands… and my father’s hands.

Then came the news. After several weeks of back-and-forth, visits, test-drives, a deal was struck and the agreed-upon price was:

$22,500. Beautiful.

Dad sells the boat to FIL for $22,500.

Dad agreed to give me anything over-and-above, up to the price of the motorcycle, his must-have price of $19,000.

The difference: $3,500.

The price of the motorcycle: $3,000.

My father bought the motorcycle for me (He essentially gave me the cash with the stipulation that it go for the motorcycle and for nothing else. It wasn’t for the divorce. It wasn’t for anything other than his feeling that I should do something for myself for once and everything and everyone else be damned… things weren’t going to get better for me.)

The irony of this story is obvious. My father didn’t buy me the motorcycle that seemingly became the lightning rod of the marriage (at least in her delusions). HER father bought me the motorcycle. He bought my father’s boat for himself and he bought me my motorcycle.

Up until this day, I’ve shared the secret only with DW. I do take some small measure of glee in that fact and thank them for helping me out with that purchase… both my own father and PEW’s father.

I didn’t get to drive it too much those first few months. Given the circumstances, I thought it best to store it at a friend’s house as I didn’t want to come home from work one day to find it destroyed. I didn’t bring it to the house until after she had moved out. Anyway, I still have it today, and given the price of gas, I’m thrilled that I do!

If not for the reality that the motorcycle was (essentially) a gift from my dad which I worked hard to make a reality, I probably still wouldn’t have one. Also, I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever. I came up with the idea and did the work to make sure it happened.

The motorcycle would become a bone of contention in court, however, a simple affidavit from my father scuttled their claim that I “hid” marital assets (cash) and used it to buy the motorcycle. He confirmed it was a gift from him without the reality of how that gift came to be, which is why the story is still a “secret.” (In reality - I don’t know why I’ve still kept it a secret.)

Anything for the extra buck with her.