The Psycho Ex Wife

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WE INTERRUPT THIS POST FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT: We discussed going all “April Fool’s Day” on everyone and making a post about my suddenly walking out on DW, reconciling with PEW, and moving in with PEW and the kids. For a fraction of a second we thought it was funny and then quickly concluded it was not, really. We choose instead to post this announcement that we are a slight bit twisted regarding our sense of humor - but perhaps a mere mention in passing would make someone smile before embarking upon another wreck of a story. END OF ANNOUNCEMENT.

…it was always an issue. If you’ve been reading a while now, I won’t rehash the reasons. If you haven’t been reading a while, click on the labels to the left and then on main characters. You’ll get to where you need to be.

What started off innocently enough in this case would turn into a fight about PP babysitting the children.

PEW: HEY
LM: uu
PEW: DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE!!!
LM: What message?
PEW: for God’s sake. did you feed the mutts
LM: No.
PEW: ok. where’s the Vacuum
LM: Upstairs closet.
PEW: for God’s sakes
LM: lol
PEW: what the f—
LM: LMAO!
PEW: lol
LM: What is going on here?!?!?
PEW: nothin
LM: If you sent me an e-card again, I blocked all mail from that address.
PEW: really from what address
LM: When I went to the site…
PEW: i didn’t
LM: …and plugged in the card. Oh, okay.
PEW: did you get the first card
LM: No. Busy. Talk to you about it later.
PEW: NO>>>>>>YOU’LL TALK NOW
LM: Oh, I got an e-card notification.
PEW: it’s probably from your girlfriend
LM: When I went to this site… it couldn’t show me the card… for “spamming” reasons, but then pitched the site for me. So, it turned out it was an ad. I thought it was from you.
PEW: no
LM: Then I did the right thing.
PEW: …..3002336858686545
LM: lol
PEW: that was S2, character he is. do you have a second
—————

Uh-oh. It’s the “do you have a second” tell. Now I’m in for it…

—————
LM: y/ What?
PEW: i asked my mom about watching the kids either next Fri or Sat. then PP said….she’ll take S1 overnight and my mom would take S2…. so what do you want to do
LM: No.
PEW: shit
LM: Shit nothing, PEW.
PEW: Ok
LM: Why is it we agree about babysitting where your sister is concerned… and then violate it?
PEW: well…why was it ok when i went to the ER
LM: Because the option was not taking our kid to the hospital.
—————

Even that isn’t the best situation, but it was an emergency situation.

—————
PEW: what do you think she’s going to do? ok…well then call MCB and tell him we can’t go out. my mom said she can’t handle both of them
LM: Okay.
PEW: so then we do nothing for Valentine
LM: No… I’ll see if CAM can watch S1 on Fri or Sat.
PEW: no because i’m not telling PP that we think she’s kuckoo
LM: Okay… last time… and she is not babysitting anymore. She is not better. We don’t know when she is drinking and when she is not. I’m not thrilled with the slap situation that occurred. And so on.
PEW: what do you mean….last time?
LM: If S1 gets ornery, she can’t handle it. Obviously, you told her it was okay to babysit, am I wrong?
—————

This is how this argument would always go. PP would either want to spend some time with one or both of the boys or she would offer to babysit in a pinch. That, in and of itself, isn’t a big deal. It’s telling her yes in the aftermath of our agreement not to allow it because of the circumstances (drug, alcohol abuse… untreated bipolar disorder, suicide attempts - all fairly decent reasons in my mind). She would tell PP yes and then ask me if I would be agreeable to allowing it. Then I was the bastard when I would invariably say NO.

—————
PEW: she offered LM….i was a little put on the spot
LM: “No” isn’t that difficult.
PEW: my mom said she didn’t feel comfortable with both of them….then PP offered to take S1. well i’ll just tell her we’re not going. i’m not going to argue this
LM: There is no arguing.
PEW: i do not think she is a threat to S1 in any way. she’s fine with him one on one….
PEW: she gets crazy when he’s thumping S2 around…
LM: Was she fine the night she whacked him - with your Mom there?
PEW: it’s only natural….i freak when he does it
LM: Look… I don’t want your sister babysitting until I am comfortable that she is following what she needs to do to get better.
PEW: well it only shows that she has some maternal instinct
—————

I didn’t make that up. Slapping a 3-year old so hard you leave a handprint on his FACE shows “maternal instinct.” Yes, this is the same woman who thinks I abuse my children because they can’t watch 18-hours of TV a day. She’s the one who believes beating a child upside the head and face is what every mother would do when they don’t know how to stop a child from doing something.

At this moment, not only do I have to live with PEW being the guide, the parent, the person who is charged with helping me bring up healthy, stable children, but PP is there, sometimes staying for several days at a time to “help” in that endeavor.

Lucky me.

—————
LM: Right now, I am not comfortable that is happening. Stop excuse-making. Now, if you don’t want to “make her feel bad” - then I say, let her babysit, NOT overnight, and this is the last time.
PEW: i’m not…..S1 could try the patient’s of a frigging saint. patience i meant
LM: PEW… is your sister sick? Yes.
PEW: aren’
LM: PEW… is your sister not doing everything she can to get her shit straight? Yes.
PEW: aren’t we all
LM: I don’t care about the rest. I’m sorry if you don’t like that. I’m just telling you how I feel.
PEW: she’s doing pretty well
LM: YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SHE WON’T BE.
PEW: she’s looking for a job…she hasn’t been drinking
LM: I am not comfortable with the risk. Okay?
PEW: well then we won’t go out….. i’m used to not having a babysitter and going out…that’s why I got a job…..
LM: Your choice, not mine. So please, when it comes up later, remember that you made the decision not to go out, and not blame me down the road.
PEW: well, most of my family is already alienated from us…..
—————

You know,
it’s moment like these when I think of all of the philosophical questions or even Table Topics and there is a question like, If you could go back in time and do something differently, what would you do?

When I read something like the above, I increasingly find myself thinking, I would go back and scream in my own face for allowing these type of arguments go on and on and on, mindlessly, never achieving anything.

—————
LM: PEW. Stop. Do not try to justify this situation with that. Do not try to justify this situation with anything.
PEW: I left S2 with your mom and I don’t think the risks involved there were any less
LM: I don’t trust your sister in her current situation.
PEW: you’re mom can’t even ambulate the stairs
—————

Yes, my mother who had knee trouble from a degenerative condition is the same as a drug & alcohol abusing, untreated diagnosed bipolar disordered sister. Logical in the warped mind of a BPD.

—————
LM: Are you serious?
PEW: yes
LM: Okay. Then I can see this is going to be a tit-for-tat situation. I’ll tell my Mom she is no longer on the babysitting list. Okay?
PEW: i don’t think that’s necessary. i think we just don’t ask. we don’t have to hurt her feelings
LM: It’s not, because when she watches S2, she can stay either upstairs or downstairs. She isn’t mentally unbalanced, drinking excessively, and stalking people, okay? Don’t compare the two.
PEW: she’s about the same as my sister
LM: No, she isn’t.
PEW: ok
—————

Oy-vey! No, I don’t remember if we went out. Probably not. She just can’t keep her thoughts, wishes, and stories straight. While at the same time arguing that she is used to not having a babysitter and not going out - she would “equalize” things by arguing that my mother shouldn’t babysit. (By the way, she could absolutely “ambulate the stairs.”) She would tune-out the reality and depth of her sister’s problems by claiming “aren’t we all [sick]?” No, just some of us, PEW. Just some of us.