Psycho Ex-Wife and Maternal Gatekeeping
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If you thought the stories about phone call interference ended, mercifully, with the Phone Call Series: Lies, Manipulation, Custodial Interference, Parental Alienation, you were horribly mistaken. At least today we’ll call it what it is - maternal gatekeeping. Maternal gatekeeping is often brought up in the context of normal marriages and is a situation where a mother is subtly sabotaging the interrelationship between the father and the children by interfering in their participation in normal parental activities. Those who don’t believe in maternal gatekeeping will simply argue that craptastic husbands are lazy sloths who choose not to do work around the house, particularly when it comes to babies and children. The most vociferous of those are likely the maternal gatekeeping mothers who just don’t like the way dad does things and, after a while, a father just gets fed up with her shit and withdraws rather than persist in doing something his way. It’s very hard for these mothers to realize that there is very likely more than one way to accomplish many of these tasks, particularly as it pertains to children…
- If dad wants to use 40 wipes to change a diaper, while mom uses two, that’s okay. If mom gets pissed off that dad uses 40 wipes, that doesn’t mean he didn’t perform a successful diaper change. Rather than deal with her bitching, he no longer changes diapers, mom figures he one of “those” dads and the cycle is complete.
- Also, if the father has a competitive streak, he may want to see if he can a diaper using the fewest wipes possible. Dad is competing against no one but himself - he just wants to see if it can be done. I could fold a frigging’ baby wipe to the size of a postage stamp and have those babies spic-an’-span using only one wipe. Some mothers may scoff at that idea and there is some specific amount to use… blah, blah, blah… the cycle continues.
- A smart father won’t allow himself to be shut out of child rearing duties, tell mom to take a frigging hike, and change the baby however he sees fit. Remember, dad does play a role in allowing the maternal gatekeeping mother to operate with uncanny effectiveness.
But I digress… the true point I wanted to make is like most fathers - I was originally relegated to non-custodial status, and when divorce and child custody came to darken my door. When you’re a non-custodial father, maternal gatekeeping activities are a favorite pastime for the malicious ex-wife. One of the most common and effective ways is interfering with phone contact. Such was the case near constantly with PEW in the early years. 2005 was a particularly gruesome year for all kinds of bullshit, but we’re pretty close to wrapping up the pertinent parts of that year. It starts with the phone. One night, my call went unanswered and given that I was keeping a log “just in case” it became a frequent habit, she would get paranoid. Early November 2005 was one of those times and I received an email the following morning, unsolicited.
LM,
I got a call from after care yesterday, S1 had thrown up. He wound up being up all night throwing up. The kids were asleep when you called and I had several important calls to make.
I wish you would really, re-think calling every night. It’s too much. S2 doesn’t want to talk at all. It’s not an enjoyable thing for them. Of course that’s probably because you don’t just say, Hey how ya doing? I don’t know why, but they DREAD the call. I think you should consider easing up.
~PEW
Maternal gatekeeping. Unfortunately for PEW, I know how to have a meaningful AND age appropriate conversation with the children, which I will re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-explain like the knucklehead that I am - again to the psycho. She can’t grasp that I have an interest in them beyond the superficial bullshit she would discuss with them, when she even attempted to bother with something that actually had to do with them during a discussion.
PEW,
If they were sick, I absolutely understand and that’s no problem at all.
As for the frequency and duration of my phone calls, we’ve been over how I feel about your efforts (or lack thereof) to assist in facilitating meaningful calls with the boys. Add to that, the fact that they’ve had to listen to you and your family bad-mouth me, DW, [where we live] and all of the other stuff. Another part is the fact that they still, despite my repeated respectful requests that they not be engrossed in some movie or TV show, activity, or be outside when I call, are and I can understand some of their apprehension regarding phone calls. And of course, there are times where they just may not feel like it. It also doesn’t help that I listen to you scold them (mostly S2) to talk to me when he may not feel like it and we have a situation where the daily phone call with Dad just isn’t a fun thing when it could be – with your minimal assistance.
And yes, here I’ll go repeating myself – I actually do some meaningful preparation for their phone calls from here to you. Now, they may not always be thrilled about speaking, but before we call you, we talk about their day and some of the interesting things that they may want to share with you before we actually make the call. I remind them to ask how you are doing, how your day went, what did mom do today. Always, I tell them not to forget to “give mom some love.” I make an effort.
Perhaps you could pick a time for “phone call with dad” and try to do just the bare minimum to make it so that they would actually be interested instead of making it a chore for them? Call me when it is a good time before bed instead of me calling and perhaps interrupting whatever it is that they may be doing. Here is an opportunity to continue to foster good, meaningful communication with me without making it something that they just don’t want to do because there is something else interesting you have them doing. Most of the time we call you from bed, when they are settled down and ready to chat before going to sleep. It’s a thought.
Finally, as for the content of my calls, it is very simple. It is – hey, how ya doing? What did you do in school today? What other interesting things did you do? What was their favorite thing that you did? Pretty simple stuff.
You see, if they didn’t view their call with me as:
- Mom is going to scold me if I don’t get on the phone.
- Mom is going to take me away from a good movie to get on the phone with dad.
- Mom is going to take me away from a fun game to get on the phone with dad.
- Mom is going to make me stop playing outside to get on the phone with dad.
- Dad is interrupting my snack time.
It might progress a lot more smoothly. It can be made to be:
- Mom and S1 and S2 talk about their day, which helps prepare for a talk with dad while fostering communication between you and the boys.
- I’m done with all of the fun, games, shows, and activities and I’m ready for a short chat with dad before drifting off to sleep.
You are as instrumental as I in making it a “fun thing” or “meaningful thing” for them and not something they “dread.” The duration of my phone calls, at most, is 3 – 10 minutes depending upon what I can get them to talk about. At least when the shoe is on the other foot, they have something in mind before we call you. It would be nice, as usual, if you would give me the same consideration.
~LM
I’ve long since stopped writing down the definition of insanity. I just pasted my likeness in my personal dictionary with this web address underneath it.
LM,
We’re home today. S1 was up all night throwing up.
As for the phone calls, dont’ try to blame me for the fact that they don’t want to talk to you. I do not bad mouth you or DW. The incident with my dad was one isolated incident. My whole family does not talk bad about you. My Dad understands that it can’t happen ever. I’m sure in time the boys will figure out for themselves what their Dad is all about. They aren’t going to need anyone to tell them. S1 once asked me what I thought about DW and I said…..is she nice to you? S1 said “yes”, so I said then I like her. “Anyone who treats my kids good is a nice person” As far as the “horseface thing” I said, that was a terrible thing to say and that she was very pretty. I don’t really care if you believe me or not. If I would talk bad about you, it would hurt them, so why would I do that? They love you, even though I can’t stand you.
Calling every night is too much whether you care to admit it or not. But do what you want. I’m not going to scold them for not talking to you, I’m just going to tell you they don’t want to talk to you. Not my fault…..you wouldn’t need to call every night if you didn’t give up 40% custody that you had. Not my fault you decided to move 400 miles away from your two young sons. Don’t keep sending me your diatribes either…..it’s tiring and I was up all night with our son, cut me a break for a change.
~PEW
Wah, wah, you moved, wah, wah, 400 miles, wah, wah, you abandoned your children. I’ll be damned if she ever came up with something original every once in a while.
Notice a pattern here? Anytime something negative is brought up, the kids did it “one time.” The neighbors did it “one time.” Her asshole father only did it “one time.” Her twisted sister only did that “one time.”
Polly also wanna cracker.
She lies her ass off in that reply above. Her family is chock full of pathological verbal abusers and if her father only ever made fun of me, DW, or some combination thereof (and/or our families), I will shut this site down, the forums, everything tomorrow. Unfortunately for PEW, her lies have been exposed from the inside, so that just won’t happen. One time. “Hey, I think DW is SO nice that I’ll call Child Protective Services and the Police on her from hundreds of miles away for no reason and traumatize not only my own children, but hers, too. That’s just how sick and twisted I am. And I believe all my lies, too!” Other than herself, who does she think she’s kidding with these stories? The only truth in the above reply is “I don’t care if you believe me or not.”
PEW,
Yep, as I suspected, more of the same from the person who regularly pontificates about “co-parenting” but can’t do the minimum necessary to make communications with dad a bit more smooth. Thanks again. It saddens me that you repeatedly fail to address the issue at hand and continue to create your own, self-gratifying versions of reality. Whether it’s the gunplay issue… the phone call issue… the divorce issue… for you it’s all about claims of impotency and blaming everything on my relocation to [home state].
Cut ME a break, as usual, you started this discussion. Your job as the mom in this divorce situation is to assist in fostering good communications with dad, just like I do with you. If you can get beyond your own hatred and bitterness in order to make that happen, you are only hurting the children, and perhaps in the long run – yourself.
Instead of ranting about the things that make you bitter, set it aside and consider my suggestion regarding arranging for a bedtime call to me so that we don’t have to repeatedly deal with your inability to see to it that they are not engaged in some other activity when it is time for a phone call with dad. This is another in a long line of examples of how instead of trying to improve the things we need to deal with in our situation, you make a argument out of it. If you cannot make an honest effort to assist me in my contact with the boys, about which I’ve made repeated reasonable requests, instead of just telling me “they don’t want to talk to you” – just say so and I will manage the situation accordingly.
~LM
Oh shut the hell up, LM. I joke, but truth be told, this is the way you combat maternal gatekeeping. Don’t back down. Don’t give up. Don’t shrug your shoulders, turn out your hands and say to yourself, “Listening to her bullshit isn’t worth staying involved.”
LM,
I realized a long long time ago that you were not on board with Co-parenting, ok? I gave up trying. I’m just happy having the absolute minimal contact with you possible. School, health, etc…etc.. that’s it, I have no desire to talk to you beyond that as you have abused me beyond any human being I have ever come in contact with. I have given up on us ever being friends and sharing the cute little day to day things that happen with the kids and the funny stuff they say and do. You have shown nothing but a total lack of respect for me. What do you expect in return?
Why do you keep bringing up the impotence, are you trying to say AGAIN that you didn’t have erectile problems for the 10 years we were together??
Like I said, you keep right on calling and I’ll hand over the phone to the boys, that is my responsibility regarding phone calls. STop trying to blame me for your shortcomings.
~PEW
It never ceases to amaze me how long I managed to put up with her delusional bullshit.
PEW,
You realize what your imagination creates. I am on board with co-parenting, but your inability to discuss concerns as anything other than “criticism of you” dates back to the earliest days of our relationship and has not changed even a little bit.
Examples include:
- The stuff with your family making fun of me and others, the inappropriate songs.
- The phone calls.
- Vacation time together.
- Summer scheduling.
- Deliberately leaving me off of the emergency contact list at both schools.
- Arranging the rare pickup of the boys at your parents house failures because “they just don’t want to see me.”
That’s just to name a few. And when I want to talk seriously about serious concerns or issues regarding the boys, you are the one who repeatedly brings up things that are not even remotely relevant to the issue at hand, not I. Just using the gun-play issue as an example, our sexual activity during the marriage wasn’t relevant nor was my move, but calling me a “lousy father” and bringing those two things up were the first things you said in reply to my concern. This is typical of you.
Your responsibility regarding “fostering good communications” between the children and I is so much more than you “handing the phone over to them” – but the fact is, you don’t care. You don’t even try and that’s the shame here. All I ask with regard to the children is to work together on communications and issues relevant to them. You just flat-out refuse to do it. I can’t force you, all I can do is repeatedly ask you to do the same for me in that regard as I do for you. It is up to you to decide to do what is right by the boys… or not do what is right.
~LM
With a co-parent like her, who needs enemies?
January 13th, 2010 at 11:19 am
MATERNAL GATEKEEPING. Now I know what to call it. That is exactly what my husband and I have been dealing with over the years with his PEW. When you mentioned the part about leaving you off the emergency contact list at both schools, I had a flashback because it has happened to us several times. It is so sad, but eventually, those boys are going to see their mother for the person she is. I watched it happen with my husband’s children, now 13 and 15. My 15 y/o SD resents her mother so much for all of the nonsense, and I am constantly telling her, “honey, thats the only mother you have, and even if she has been misguided in her actions over the years, she still loves you and wants what is best for you.” This, while I am thinking to myself that I am relieved that the she knows the truth that her daddy didn’t abandon her, but sad because of the dysfunction that is their family history and - most likely - future. I can only hope that this dysfunction doesn’t follow them into their future relationships with others, both for our children, and yours. Those boys are lucky that they have the stability of you, Mr. M, as well as your lovely DW. Best wishes to you both.
January 13th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
I have never seen a study on this, but I would love to learn if there is a connection between maternal gatekeeping and PAS.
I have discovered through my work that PAS usually begins l-o-n-g before the divorce, and in fact, is firmly entrenched in the relationship fabric by the time divorce takes place. Even when no divorce takes place, children who are alienated from a parent grow up to suffer the same damage as children of a high-conflict divorce (Amy JL Baker reported this finding in one of her studies).
Now - may I rant for a moment? What the heck, feminists? Where did we get so off-track? How did we go from wanting equal opportunity and equal pay for equal work, to living in a society that says it’s okay to totally devalue an entire gender of the human race? How on earth did we go from wanting to be freed from the drudgery of housework, to territorially guarding it from the very persons who would like to help free us? Whatever happened to “biology is not destiny”? Remember that? I used to be proud to be a feminist. I still strongly believe in equality for all. That’s not what feminism stands for anymore.
January 13th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
One of the criteria considered in courts here is the “previous care and supervision of the child exercised by each parent.” If you’ve been pushed out of all of those activities by a controlling parent, you would have very little chance to show that you meet this criteria.
I gotta tell ya, though… I have been guilty of this. Not in the context of a custody case. Just with being a household gatekeeper in general. It has taken me a lot of work to realize what I was doing wrong.
I would have a very specific way of wanting chores done, and lecture DH about how he did them wrong when he didn’t do them my way. Eventually, I would just tell him not to do those chores, and that I would take care of them myself.
Then I would get pissed that he didn’t help me more with chores.
It’s hard to recognize when you do things like this and take corrective action, but I’m glad I did.
January 14th, 2010 at 5:32 am
Our PEW is a total maternal gatekeeper. Nothing my husband says or does with the kids is ever “right” — meaning, what SHE wanted him to do.
And JB, just as an aside very few of the mothers I know who are “maternal gatekeepers” (and I know quite a few) would consider themselves feminists. Far from it. They believe that old saying “Mother Knows Best”, and are more likely to define themselves as mothers before anything else. Many (not all, but many) of them look down on women who work or don’t prioritize their lives exactly as they do. They really LIKE the ’50s era, pre-feminist gender roles — Dad works and supports the family financially, Mom stays home and runs the household, which includes everything to do with the kids.
Probably the biggest difference between the 50’s style mom and them is that they’re typically very uncomfortable getting a babysitter — after all, the babysitter might do something wrong or different than they would! It’s all about control with them…
January 14th, 2010 at 11:03 am
As a “weekend” mom often left out (or excluded from) the loop regarding school stuff, I have to tell you that it’s not only mothers who do the gatekeeping. I propose dropping the “maternal” qualifier or only apply it when talking about a mother, like your PEW.
In my case it would be “paternal gatekeeping”. But I’m hardly going to label the whole activity of one parent excluding the other as a “paternal” activity. It’s gatekeeping. That’s all. Both sexes are guilty of it.
I really enjoy this site and the forums, but the anti-mother sentiment sometimes gets a little heavy.
January 14th, 2010 at 11:32 am
A couple of things… there is no “anti-mother” sentiment on this blog or on our forums. There is “anti- bad mother” sentiment. There is “anti- bad father” sentiment.
As for the gatekeeping issue, this is a phenomenon that is almost exclusively attributed to mothers (both bad AND good). No disrespect to your situation, but there are subtle differences between the interference I believe you’re experiencing and true maternal gatekeeping. You situation is just as frustrating and awful for both you and your children.
January 14th, 2010 at 11:34 am
Can she make up her mind? Is it that you moved and aren’t there for them or that calling every day is too much? Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Good grief. She wants you to be there for them….but only on her terms. Fortunately we have custody so our bm doesn’t have a lot of that control, but boy does she try!
January 14th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
@nomoredrama –
That’s classic BPD. “I hate you, don’t leave me”
January 14th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Exactly JB, and even more bluntly, she will argue whichever side of the argument makes sense for what she is asking for that day. One minute the kids are “just babies” and she’ll consider giving more custodial time to Dad when they get older and can handle it, the next day “they aren’t babies” when it comes to her allowing them to watch inappropriate television. So yes, in the span of two days they are not old enough to spend time with their father, but yes they are old enough to watch grown men and women half naked beating the shit out of each other and swearing like sailors. Sometimes you just have to laugh that she doesn’t see what an ass she makes of herself with these arguments.
The whole moving thing is just another control issue for her that triggers the feeling of abandonment. He “shouldn’t have abandoned them by moving away” but now that he’s here he “should just move back,” and if he moved back guess what she would be saying? lol You can’t win with a PEW, all those years she asked him to move back and be a Father (all while fighting him in court to not have it allowed of course) and here he is, with the kids 50% of the time, and it’s still a reason for her to bitch.
If they didn’t have something to bitch about, they would die. Remember how she was never going to email LM again when she found this site? lol Never call? Yea, she couldn’t hold off for 2 whole days. They simply have no control and will use whatever they can to argue, even if it’s the opposite of what they argued 2 minutes ago.
January 14th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
I used to wonder if my stepkids’ mother didn’t know she was lying or if she was lying on purpose. I have come to the conclusion that it is neither: the real answer is that she doesn’t care one way or the other whether she is lying. As DW says (above): she just says whatever best suits her needs at the moment she is saying it. Corollary: because she suffers from impulsivity, she doesn’t bother to consider the consequences of what she says, which apparently makes it easy to say something that contradicts what you said yesterday and what you will say tomorrow.
January 15th, 2010 at 10:10 am
I’ve read about this, and it fits our PEW to a tee.
I’ve found another site that talks about HAP (Hostile Aggressive Parenting), which if I understand it correctly, is a precursor to PAS. There’s an evaluation you can do to see if it’s HAP you’re facing with an ex-spouse:
http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/evaluating_HAP_step1.asp
Our PEW scored over 3300!!
January 15th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
So much I relate to here; interfering with phone calls then blaming us, refusing to share information, trying to shut the kids’ father (and me) out of the kids’ daily lives and activities. Yet failing miserably at managing those activities!
I’ve seen that hostile aggressive parenting evaluation as well. The BM is a valedictorian on that one.
January 15th, 2010 at 11:32 pm
Hey I apologize I’m sick (flu) and searching on the browser is making me dizzy. i have a question–i remember recently a blog about pew bribing the kids to get antsy about returning to the other parent’s home or idk the word for it but my ex is doing the same thing now to our child on every phone call and its unnerving. A secret that I can’t tell you til you get here, a super cool new toy/fun destination–always its I can’t tell you until you get here. Do they not realize what they are setting the other parent up for? What does one do?
Hope this made sense-im out of it. Thank you+sorry if this is out of place.
January 19th, 2010 at 11:59 pm
well would love to talk to some one that might help. My ex is the best dam sellswoman in the world. thats atleast if your not an exhusband or one of my 4 children which cannot stand thier mother. So even after my ex has now broken up her 4th mariage. that 4 people. She still has some how able to keep me in court for 7 years. plus here is the kicker she has convinced a wealthy man to pay for her legal fees. Im talking well over 200K. I cant keep up. Why in the world would anyone waste the money and not just help there kids with that money. Why wouldnt her current boyfriend not be interested in why this guys is paying. Why would someone get invovolved with another mans life and kids.I would love to have my story printed on your sight. I have detail. I would love advice on how to handle the money pit behind her.
January 20th, 2010 at 9:20 am
[...] the edge of slipping away. When you consider that mixed amongst these emails were those from the Maternal Gatekeeping post and those which follow here. These other issues would serve as the excuse the psycho ex-wife [...]
January 20th, 2010 at 11:58 am
[...] any event, this series of emails was followed shortly by the events which resulted in the maternal gatekeeping post. Also thrown into the mix and what will be covered in 2005 Thanksgiving & Christmas Planning [...]
January 25th, 2010 at 12:08 am
In the 221st State District Court of Montgomery Co, TX, Judge Suzanne Stovall massacred me in a 3¼ year custody battle for my, now, 6½ y/o daughter.
Convicted child molesters have more access to their children than I do.
Calls, letters, & gifts are intercepted, & I have no visitation.
The mother secreted her 2mo & 14mo old babies, 1200 miles from their father, & for 15½ years, her family prevented all contact.
The mother’s 18 year history & pattern of hostility, alienation, & medical mistreatment was well known to evaluating psychologist Dr Edward G Silverman, therapist Theresa Burbank, ad litem Lynn T Coleman, the attorneys, et.al.
Despite months of exams & x-rays by pediatricians & specialists, for a real & progressing condition, & prescribing increasingly invasive treatment, the mother, Edward G Silverman, Theresa Burbank, Lynn Coleman, Elaine Baggerley of CPS, & Judge Suzanne Stovall, refused to believe the diagnosis of the medical professionals & necessity for treatment.
Even after several of them spoke with the medical professionals, & were provided the records, they all persisted in their false beliefs despite the invalidating evidence.
A specialist repeatedly requested the mother & Lynn Coleman, attend the appointments, but despite weeks of advance notice they refused.
Even with the mother’s sworn statements of medically abusing/neglecting our daughter & with the doctors corroborating records of her mistreatment, Judge Suzanne Stovall took my daughter from me & placed her into the mother’s sole custody.
Symptoms have persisted, but her condition is withheld.
Since infancy, the mother has secreted our daughter to doctors, & medically mistreated her.
For at least 15 months, the mother yo-yoed our daughter on steroids.
She has deliberately neglected her dental care.
The mother has a history & pattern of medically mistreating her other children with steroids, psychiatric drugs, numerous prescriptions & OTC medicines, & they have had significant dental issues due to her neglect.
http://www.courthouseforum.com
Judge Suzanne Stovall signed a Final Decree to remove me from my daughter, without a trial, without my signature, without my lawyer’s signature, & without compelling the mother’s (plaintiff) discovery.
Despite 3 years of Hearings, Rule 11’s, hundreds of emails/letters/conversations, Judge Suzanne Stovall refused to compel the mother’s discovery, yet granted years of continuances because her discovery was incomplete; including continuing a preferentially set trial.
All knew how devastating her discovery would be & Judge Suzanne Stovall refused to compel.
Judge Suzanne Stovall inconsistently ruled on motions, laws, or rules to favor the mother.
My lawyers complained that she favored the mother.
Judge Suzanne Stovall ignored the overwhelming certified/certifiable evidence of violence/hostility/aggression/abuse by the mother, her family, & her friends.
Judge Suzanne Stovall disregarded 3+ years & 300+ exhibited provable charges of Contempt against the mother, including failure to pay child support, interfering with child custody, & worse.
It required my lawyer’s written threat of a Writ of Habeas Corpus for the mother to surrender our daughter to me.
I paid the jury fee, & for 3 years, pleaded, in vain, for a trial or in some way, to present a case.
Judge Suzanne Stovall punished me with over 20% plus $100, monthly child support.
CISD records, depositions, sworn statements, & other Certified/Certifiable evidence revealed a home with an AGGRAVATED SEXUAL ASSAULT FELON, wrist CUTTING, daily VIOLENCE, runaway teen, destruction, criminals, drug abuse (METH, COCAINE, XANAX, OXYCOTIN, etc), many police visits & a SEARCH WARRANT confiscated drug paraphernalia, probation violations, multiple sex partners, suspensions for drugs & violence, burglary, vandalism, shootings, disease, fighting, screaming, profanity, pornography (incl BEASTIALITY), boys/men sleeping over, my daughter sleeping at men’s homes, being taught obscene language & gestures, & so much more.
Aggravated perjury, forged letters, falsified evidence, unsupported/inconsistent/unchallenged false accusations, by the mother, CPS, et al., outweighed exhaustive undisputed facts, certified evidence, sworn statements, & objective/testable/verifiable documentation, disproving the accusations, & proving neglect/ abuse by the mother.
With the knowledge &/or support of Dr Edward G Silverman, Lynn T Coleman, Theresa Burbank, & Elaine Baggerley, the mother has so thwarted my daughter’s education that, in Kindergarten, at 6½ y/o, she is below District Guidelines.
At 4 y/o my daughter could count to 29, count to 100 by tens, write her name, recognize most letters, tie her shoes, play checkers, had her own computer with games, play card games, & much more.
At 6+ y/o, she could do none of those, & now she requires special attention, & is a behavioral problem.
Well known to Edward G Silverman, Lynn Coleman, & Theresa Burbank, the mother provided & reared her young children on GRAPHICALLY SEXUALLY VIOLENT entertainment & since infancy has repeatedly exposed my daughter to the same.
Well known to Edward G Silverman, Theresa Burbank, Lynn Coleman, CPS, & several Montgomery Co Courts & Probation, the mother’s other children became violent, drug abusing criminals, who attended alternative high schools & exposed my daughter to drugs & diseases.
On their first meeting, Elaine Baggerley of CPS began diagnosing my daughter as ADHD, & more.
20 months of Theresa Burbank’s therapy & the mother’s sole parenting have resulted in my daughter being referred to a psychiatrist.
http://local.yahoo.com/info-19096883-teresa-burbank-pc-conroe
The mother’s family & friends have threatened me at my home & away, & my property has been vandalized.
I have received harassing, obscene, & middle of the night phone calls.
The well paid, well insured mother has lived rent & utilities free for 3½ years, but claims to be deep in debt from undisclosed medical expenses.
The mother has committed tax, CHIPs, Medicaid, & insurance fraud at least since 2003.
Threats, violence, drugs, promiscuity, crime, lying, etc is normal to the mother and her children.
I have neither a history of, nor is there any evidence that I have ever been violent, destructive, abusive, hostile, etc.
My increasing debt exceeds twice my gross annual income.
Fees & expenses have exceeded 4 times my gross annual income.
I have recorded nearly every contact with the mother, CPS, ad litem, & many others.
I will be presenting this case to the Texas: Bar, Commission on Judicial Conduct, Attorneys General, Appellate Courts, Supreme Court, Board of Examiners of Psychologists, TDFPS, etc. & will include:
medical & doctors records of years of mistreatment
CPS reports of violence, drugs, medical mistreatment, etc
psychological evaluations include lying, abuse, etc
depositions of lying, violence, drug abuse, sex, etc
CISD records of violence, drugs, sex, etc
police reports of violence, drugs, shootings, etc
myspace of violence, drug abuse, sex, pornography, etc
emails to/from the: ad litem, psychologist, therapist
I have always loved & wanted my daughter & always will, & I will never, ever, ever give up trying to rescue her.
Judge Suzanne Stovall: Please right your injustice & return my daughter.
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:04 am
Gatekeeping (maternal or paternal) is a huge problem. I see some my girlfriends doing it to their husbands, my sister do it with her child, and it troubles me. How to say something without damaging my relationship with them?
Once I became aware of parental alienation I started seeing things all over the place, and it’s scary. Once in the grocery store I saw a woman and her grown daughhter shopping together. They were discussing what to get for dinner, and considering what the father might want. The daughter suggested they call and ask the father. The mother dialed her cell phone, handed it to daughter and said “Here, you talk to him. He’ll be more honest with you.”
Never mind the gatekeeping (I call it alienation) that my husband experiences from his personal PEW. Recently we found out that one of his children had dropped a class, and dropped out of the talented and gifted program, at school without my husbands consent or notification. They have joint custody. Of course, my husband is a horrible ogre who ought to be exterminated (according to her facebook) because he was upset.
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:10 am
I tend to be direct at this point in my life and I’m less concerned with the relationship with them as I am with the long-term impact on the children and the father.
I would tell them flat out - your way isn’t the only right way and the things that you do to shut out [husband] is bad for the relationship, bad for the child, and bad for dad. You need to wise up.
If that is too much to handle, consider having a discussion with dad and let him know that he needs to stand up for himself and his relationship with the children, otherwise, things will be strained over time.
Maybe drop a book about maternal gatekeeping on their coffee table with a resounding *THUD*
February 5th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
Love the book idea!!!