Psycho Ex Christmas Carol Series: #1 - It’s the Most Wonderful Time…
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On the suggestion of a reader and after reading some submissions and laughing our asses off, we’ve decided to do a Christmas Carol Series to celebrate the holidays at ThePsychoExWife.com. Expect that it will be done to add a little levity to the lives of those preparing for the struggle that often accompanies the holiday season dealing with a high-conflict psycho ex-wife or psycho ex-husband. We’ll kick it off with a submission offered by JB…
(To the tune of “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”) This one should be called, It’s The Most Blunderful Time of the Year.
It’s the most wonderful t-i-m-e…. of the year.
There’s the cool denigration
The snide commentation,
Destroy your child’s good cheeeeerrr…
It’s the most wonderful time — of the year!
Crush your kids — it won’t matter,
Your ego’s been battered,
You’re making your evil ex pay!
Just ignore their sad faces,
Spew hate - yes, just say it!
They should love YOU best anyway.
It’s the most wonderful time — of the year!
All the grand PASing,
“Oh, was that ‘your’ day?” messing,
And e-mail sarcasm galore.
All the slander and blaming,
Transparent game-playing,
And “I’m taking you back to court!”
It’s the most wonderful t-i-i-m-m-m-e…….
Of The YEAR!!
[frolicky musical flourish]
#2 in the Psycho Ex Christmas Carol Series, Un-Silent Night.
December 10th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Unfortunately ours started bright and early, and after almost 15yrs you would think it would get just a little better… instead it is getting worse as each yr goes by and she realizes she will soon be out a tidy sum (youngest is a sr in hs). So all the stops are out, DH is now just a horrible father who never cared for his kids, and never ever put their needs ahead of his, never made trips to run them places (only 140miles minimally every other weekend for the last 11yrs), and never there when they need him (except he is who they call first). I must admit, I have grown to detest holidays. I am ever amazed that she forgets that there is a 3rd person who has watched all of this for the last 10yrs, and can certainly verify that all her rantings are lies, and revised history that no one who knows us would recognize.
The hardest part is, I love my DH, I love all 3 boys, but good golly do I hate her.
Happy Holidays…
December 10th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Two years, Cheryl. If they get two years out from the divorce and they are still psycho, then they will probably stay psycho forever.
I just took a new client today, whose second marriage is ending after 8 years, and its demise is largely due to the relentless insanity of the PEW from the first marriage.
It makes me sad.
December 10th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
OMG, JB…that’s a disheartening statistic!!!I guess were in it for the long run…
Is there any hope for your clients’ marriage?
December 10th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Very Nice MisterM
December 11th, 2009 at 11:52 am
How about a version of “The 12 Days of Chrismas?” Here are some ideas to get you started:
“On the 12th day of Christmas, my ex-spouse gave to me:
12 blaming emails
11 screaming phone calls
10 bad transitions
9 unplanned changes
8 __
7 __
6 __
5 nasty e-mails
4 yelling drop-offs
3 __
2 __
and a season full of turbulence.”
December 12th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
[...] Doesn’t Work”, or learn how to win child custody with a custody coach.#2 in the Psycho Ex Christmas Carol Series, comes the compilation from reader GGRR and Mister-M, sung to the tune of Silent Night. The [...]
December 12th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
JB - that is sad, but I can see how it happens. Our counselor is ever amazed that we have made it through, and often tells us we are the exception to the rule where this stuff is concerned. So glad we have had her to help us learn how to cope with it all. Even with her guidance, there are days I am not sure I can keep it up. Then I get to spend time with the boys & DH and I realize it is worth it.
8 “You don’t love them”s
7 “I need more $$”s
6 Revised histories
December 14th, 2009 at 2:32 am
You can’t have it both ways–
either this woman is an evil bitch or (as you say) has bpd. Of course you have to protect your children in any way possible but to make this into such a calous website tells me she must just be a bitch. You certainly would not “make fun” or “write songs” about anyone suffering debilitating illness–would you?
The pain she causes is awful yes, but who are you serving by talking about her as basically less than human. Do you know, have you researched the trauma and pain that someone with bpd has often suffered as a child. They have often been victims of what you are so desperately trying to protect your children from. Would you want your children to be spoken of this way if such a fate were to befall them?? Of course you would do what ever it took to protect any grandchildren and to stop the cycle but how would cynasism and jabs help the situation in any way. You must protect yourselves and your children AND this woman (who yes, should get help) is hurting in ways you may not possibly imagine. There but by the grace of God go I.
Perhaps you too suffered some sort of childhood trauma. May be you have dealt with it swimmingly and have a hard time being patient with someone who can’t/ WE ARE ALL WIRED DIFFERENTLY.!! You cannot know what one pain may do to one and not another. Ours is not to judge but to protect those we must (I’m not saying you shouldn’t have left her) but to show compassion to those who need it. Mental illness is not a choice. Getting help is. Do you pray for her? Do your children read these entries. Or do they see a loving father protecting them while praying and showing compassion (if need be, from a distance) for THEIR mother. My father was awful but when I find things I can cling to that were good about him it means so much to me.
Anger/jabs/ridicule solve nothing.
God bless,
Lisa
December 14th, 2009 at 3:06 am
[...] Work”, or learn how to win child custody with a custody coach.Perhaps my most favorite of the Christmas Carol Series (I dare you to try singing this with the same bubbly enthusiasm as the original and not laugh your [...]
December 14th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Lisa, God Bless you for being so much better than me. I ran out of cheeks to turn a long time ago.
I don’t talk about her as “less than human” though your description does add a rather dramatic touch. If she has what I suspect, it’s a horrible way to live and it must truly suck to be stuck in such a trap.
In the meantime, I (and others) do well to stop and occasionally make fun of our predicaments. It’s just another outlet for the stress and pain that wells up inside us with each new experience.
And for the record - she left us. If not by the “Grace of Family Court” - I’d still have primary custody of the children. You know what I pray for at night? I give thanks that I managed to get back the custodial arrangement that both I and the children deserve. I pray that all the others suffering at the hands of a psycho ex (for any reason) find a way to make their lives just a little bit better each day. And yes, I pray that PEW either gets the help she desperately needs (if she is ill) or just stops being a crazy bitch (if she isn’t).
She isn’t doing anyone any favors by acting the way she does. Not me. Not the kids. And not even herself.
Happy Holidays.
December 14th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Lisa,
Well said.
We really shouldn’t “poke fun” or insult people who are TRULY mentally ill.
That’s considered cruel by civilized society.
December 14th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Truth be told, most humor is rooted in the misfortune of others. At least in this case, we’re making fun of our own misfortune due to our oftentimes abysmal circumstances.
Hair-splitting? Perhaps. But my motto is to find ways to laugh when we can at our situations, because the alternative can be a perpetual downer.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Science of the health benefits of laughter: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-healing-arts/200806/humor-the-human-gift-coping-and-survival
Lisa, you sound like a truly kind and compassionate woman. Please make no mistake: so are we who laugh at the insanity of our situations. Usually, the men/women who marry these BPD individuals are the Knight in Shining Armor/Caretaker types who feel sorry for them and want to “help.” They love fully and deeply. They’re “nice guys/girls.” But sympathy is exploited by BPD and can, in fact, prove dangerous to the children involved. While SOMEONE should feel sympathy and compassion for them, it can’t be those of us who have children with them. Our primary job is to protect and buffer their influence on the children–which means we are always on guard. It’s a stressful, upsetting job and we need a positive physical release for the anger, sometimes. Humor is a responsible, harmless avenue to meet our OWN needs. The BPD’s needs and feelings are not our responsibility.