The Psycho Ex Wife

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As a psychology major I find BPD’s to be very interesting, maybe that’s why I’ve stuck around for so long. (Ha, just kidding LM, I lourve you!) But seriously, it’s amazing to look at this beast we deal with day-in and day-out and wonder what it must be like to live in her head. I get stuck in between thinking “hey it’s not her fault, I mean she’s SICK, she has a MENTAL ILLNESS!” And then the next day, “you know what, I don’t care if she is on her last marble, someone has to take responsibility for themselves at some point, and that point is HERE.”

Figuring out what she thinks is actually pretty easy because of the defense mechanisms she employs. The biggest is Projection, with a capital P. She wields it like a sword, defending her honor, of which she has none.

Projection is when someone attributes to others one’s own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts or/and emotions, and even actions. Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted subconscious impulses/desires without letting the ego recognize them.

When PEW contends that LM only wants his kids because he then won’t have to pay child support, she is projecting the feeling that she only wants her kids because she gets child support. When PEW accuses LM of abusing her verbally on the phone it’s because PEW was actually the one screaming obscenities. She can feel comfortable telling people that LM and I believe she is a fat pig, but could never admit to someone else that she is obese. By projecting these actions and thoughts onto LM and I, she saves herself from admitting how sick she has become, because if she did admit it, she would have a complete breakdown.

When called on her inconsistencies and projection, you can almost hear the electrical short-circuit as she becomes confused and begins to stammer - because she comes dangerously close to realizing just how fucked-up she really is.