The Psycho Ex Wife

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The monotony that was our discussions continued from Part 5.  I sound ridiculous.  She sounds ridiculous.  We repeatedly go over and over and over the same old bullshit.  This phone call I initiated.  She had the option  of coming to get the children.  If she wasn’t coming, I was going to make plans for the day.

PEW:: Hello?
LM: Good morning
PEW:: Good morning, what’s up?
LM: Well I called to, well first, everybody got their recorders on?
PEW:: Yep
LM: Okay good, I got my recorder on, you know, so everything stays accurate and truthful. Ah, tell me what’s up, are you coming down to get them?
PEW:: I want to meet you in [exchange point], LM.
LM: I can’t do that
PEW:: Why not?
LM: The same stuff I explained last night, I’m not going through it again
PEW:: Okay well then let me talk to S1 and tell him that his dad just decided
LM: Oh no, you’re not gonna tell him any such thing
PEW:: Yes well cuz that’s what happened
LM: That’s not what happened
PEW:: Daddy was supposed to bring you home, daddy decided not to
LM: No that’s not what happened, daddy has simply said to mommy that the boys can come home any time you want on Sunday, that’s what I’ve maintained. I didn’t tell him what you allege I told him, and I didn’t tell you what you allege I told you
PEW:: Well I got it in writing so don’t worry
LM: Okay
PEW:: Anyway
LM: You have it in writing but won’t send it to me where I said I was going to bring them home to [you].
PEW:: No, we’re going to court on Wed
LM: Okay
PEW:: Okay so you think that you…
LM: Well I gave you the opportunity, I said, hey if I made a mistake and said I was gonna bring them back to [you], send it to me
PEW:: Well first of all why would I ever say I was coming to pick them up in [LM's house], what kind of idiot would do that?
LM: The kind of idiot who says she misses her kids, that’s what kind of idiot
PEW:: You’re trying to play with my emotions
LM: No I’m not doing any such thing. I gave you two viable options. Sunday is exchange day, or whatever day you wanna call it. If you miss your kids…
PEW:: You are seriously…
LM: …and you want the kids, come get them
PEW:: Well I’ll tell you what LM…
LM: I have to come up to [there] anyway on Tuesday.
PEW:: Umhmm
LM: If you can’t come down and get them today I’ll bring them up on Tuesday
PEW:: Well let me tell you something right now LM, I think that you are seriously, seriously, mentally disturbed, and I’m going to ask my lawyer, I don’t care how much it costs, I’ll sell this house, and I will make sure that you never get to take them out of the state again, ever
LM: Please don’t call me names
PEW:: Ever, that’s where we are going on Wednesday. Okay, just so you know when you get to court my position is they should never ever go out of state again because of this
LM: Because of this
PEW:: And because of you hurting them emotionally, physically, yes

False allegations.  A mainstay of the psycho ex-wife.  I won’t accede to her demands.  When I don’t - the accusations of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse come to the fore.

LM: What are you talking about?
PEW:: You can’t be trusted, you’re a sociopath
LM: I’m a sociopath?
PEW:: Is that right?
LM: Yes
PEW:: Did you get that on tape?
LM: Please dispense with the name calling
PEW:: It’s not a name it’s a diagnosis okay?
LM: You’re not qualified to make a diagnosis
PEW:: And until you are evaluated by a real psychologist, or psychiatrist I’m not letting the kids come down there. There is something, seriously, seriously wrong with you.

As if she had that authority or power…

LM: There is huh?
PEW:: Yea
LM: Based on what? The fact that you won’t come down and get the kids?
PEW:: Based on ten years of experience with you.
LM: Okay.
PEW:: You have serious emotional psychological issues.
LM: I do?
PEW:: Yes. And our kids are in danger right now.

If it wasn’t so scary and sad, this might make you laugh.  The children are in danger because… she won’t pick them up for her parenting time.  Makes sense… to her.

LM: They are?
PEW:: Yes, because of you.
LM: Because of me?
PEW:: Yes, you are a sick person, sick. So be prepared on Wednesday. You think you don’t see them a lot now, you’re not going to see them a lot, at all.
LM: Are you threatening me now?
PEW:: Exactly. That’s exactly what I’m doing, because you made a deal to bring the kids back here and you’re not, and to me, that speaks to me in so many ways, it’s not even funny.
LM: It’s not huh. I told you, if you have something in writing that says I would bring them back, send it to me, I will acknowledge my error and I will bring them back
PEW:: You’ll see it on Wednesday

Even if she did have that proof, and it’s abundantly clear that she didn’t - why wouldn’t the knucklehead just produce it?  I promised (and always kept my word) that if she could produce for me the email where I said I would either meet her or drop them off to her - I would bring them right to her door, no questions asked.  So, rather than admit the truth or produce the document, she just continues to lie and offer blustery threats.

LM: Wednesday is not going to help things today
PEW:: Right, well I shouldn’t have to show it to you, you are the one who wrote it, so if you don’t remember, that’s not my problem

What age does she project here?  6-years old? 8-years old?

LM: I save everything in my sent folder and I looked and I still haven’t found one that says I will bring them back to you, so if you have it and you want me to bring the kids back, my e-mail is open right now, send it to me, I will acknowledge my error and I’ll get the kids packed up and ready to bring back to [you].
PEW:: Well…
LM: I don’t think that’s too much to ask is it
PEW:: No, and, yes it is too much to ask, because…
LM: It is too much to ask?
PEW:: You know that not only in the e-mail but verbally you acknowledged that you were gonna be bringing them home today, and now you are backing out on it and it’s wrong.

When you’re failing miserably with the e-mail story, switch the claim to a verbal promise.  Of course, having these conversations taped at the time - I had proof that it never happened verbally, either.

LM: Alright, I’m gonna say this one more time, if I made that promise in writing, send it to me right now, I get a shower, get the kids packed up and we are on our way, otherwise tell me if you are coming to get the kids or if I’m bringing them back Tuesday night.
PEW:: I’ll tell you what else right now, the kids will be testifying on Wednesday.

This is another frequent threat of the disordered mind.  The children are 4- and 6-years old and she’s going to “put them on the stand.”  Nevermind that no judge would allow it under these circumstances, she just believes she has the ultimate power and authority to make it happen.

LM: You’re gonna put the kids on the stand?
PEW:: Yep
LM: You’re, you’re, that’s disgraceful, put them through that, 6 and 4.
PEW:: You’re disgraceful. I gotta do whatever I gotta do to protect my kids.

And in this case - she’s protecting the kids from what?  Her picking them up whenever she feels like it?  Color me confused.

LM: Really?
PEW:: Yea, as a parent, because as one, as the only responsible parent that they have.
LM: Really?
PEW:: Yea, I have to take care of them
LM: The only responsible parent?
PEW:: Yea, so you’re on notice about those things. They’ll be testifying on Wednesday and you won’t be spending as much time as you think with them anymore.
LM: Well that really would be a shame for them.
PEW:: No it wouldn’t, it would be the best thing that happened to them because you are disturbed, seriously disturbed. What kind of father, after listening to them cry on the phone for the past five nights.

We had the tapes.  They didn’t cry for 5 consecutive nights.  The only time they did actually cry was when she prompted them to.

LM: They have not cried for the last five nights.
PEW:: They have absolutely cried every day for the last five days.
LM: No they haven’t.
PEW:: Yes they have LM.
LM: No they haven’t.
PEW:: Okay, whatever.
LM: The only times they cried were when you initiated it.
PEW:: I didn’t initiate anything.
LM: Yes you have, you’ll see.
PEW:: I’ll see?
LM: Yes, how many times did S1 have to tell you that he was fine, but you keep insisting, “but you sound like you are going to cry”, “but you sound like you’re gonna cry”, you know I couldn’t figure it out how he could have such a great day on the days that he did cry to you on the phone, and then be with, go into this show that I call it, on the phone when he talks to you, it’s because you persist. He tells you “no, I’m fine”, “is there anything wrong?”, “no I’m fine”, “but you sound like you are going to cry!”, “but you sound like you’re gonna cry”!, and then he gives you what you want.
PEW:: It did sound like he was gonna cry.
LM: He gives you exactly what it is that you want, for him to cry so that you can go in and say he doesn’t like it here, I know how you are doing it.
PEW:: Oh you’re good.
LM: It’s clearly evident. I’m not good because it took me awhile to pick up on it, I was always like, why does he, we had a wonderful day, and then he talks to you on the phone and he ends up crying to you. You pretty much, you ask him to cry for you.
PEW:: I do not
LM: Okay, well we’ll see. That’s despicable, if you want to talk about despicable.
PEW:: No, you’re despicable. Don’t say that I’m despicable.
LM: Lying to him two weeks ago, saying your car isn’t working right I can’t come get you, and then it worked perfectly fine, surprise.
PEW:: Well…
LM: And you’re giving me the same excuse this week, I told you before, spare me the stories, it works for everything, but when you, when it has nothing to do with you, I mean you miss your kids and you still won’t do it. And you’re gonna sit here and call me names on the phone
PEW:: Yea, sociopath, that’s what you are, like um, Scott Peterson
LM: Like Scott Peterson I’m a sociopath.
PEW:: That’s you.
LM: Okay.
PEW:: Yea, So, but a good psychiatrist can see those things, you can’t manipulate your way through Gloria.
LM: Ahh, this is it, isn’t there a bet or something, where you said that if Gloria came back and had positive things to say about me that you would say she was snowed, did you just say that?
PEW:: I did.
LM: Wasn’t there a $100 bet or something on that?

There was an actual bet which she welched on.  Prior to the second custody evaluation, I bet her that if the evaluator had no issues with my parenting skills and abilities but did with hers - I would bet $100 that she would claim that I duped the evaluator.  When I say the PEWs are predictable, I mean it.

PEW:: She wasn’t completely snowed though, not completely.
LM: Right.
PEW:: Did you read it?
LM: Yeah I had the opportunity to review it.
PEW:: Yeah? What’d you think about it? Did you read between the lines?

How can you not laugh at this?  When it doesn’t say anything bad about my parenting, I’m supposed to “read between the lines” and somehow discover something bad about my parenting.

LM: No, I don’t read between the lines, I only read what she wrote
PEW:: Right and she said there’s no clear benefit for S1 and S2 of you being in [your home state].
LM: Well it’s up to me to prove different in court isn’t it?
PEW:: Exactly, but you know.
LM: I explained to Gloria what the clear benefit was, I’ll explain to the court what the clear benefit is.
PEW:: Nobody sees it.
LM: Okay.
PEW:: Except for you.
LM: We’ll see.
PEW:: Where is DW by the way? She’s been away all week right?
LM: No, she’s back.
PEW:: Oh?

Sorry to disappoint you, PEW.  We didn’t fight.  We didn’t break-up.  I just had to come back from vacation a little earlier than she did.

LM: So, back to the matter at hand now that you’re done name calling and diagnosing and such.
PEW:: What?
LM: You gonna come down and get them today?
PEW:: I suppose I’ll see them on Tuesday.
LM: Drop them off at bedtime Tuesday night?
PEW:: Yea LM, but I’m explaining this to S1, I didn’t, you know, I wasn’t supposed to come pick them up. I don’t want him thinking that I am you know not doing something I was supposed to because I wasn’t, and you know it. So we need to decide here and now
LM: We need to decide here and now that you aren’t going to be talking to S1 about any such thing because you’re not.
PEW:: Well what am I telling him, what am I telling S1?
LM: I was simply going to tell him that something came up and mommy is not able to pick you up and…
PEW:: (SCREAMING) NO, NO, NO!!!
LM: Don’t yell at me
PEW:: Nothing came up except that his dad decided that he wasn’t going to bring him home today like he was supposed to.
LM: And I’m gonna tell you one more time, if you have that in writing, send it to me, I’ll pack their stuff up and we’ll be on the road as soon as possible.
PEW:: Even, wait…
LM: PEW, lets stay right here, to the point, if you have it in writing, send it to me and I will bring them home immediately, okay? You there?
PEW:: Uhmm…
LM: If you have it in writing, send it to me and I will bring them home immediately, I’ll even go further out on a limb, no meeting, no nothing, I will drop them off right at your door, if you have it in writing
PEW:: Did your dad call you yet?
LM: Nope. Did you not drive that car that allegedly isn’t working right to the shore twice last week? Right? Didn’t you do that, plus go back and forth to work all day and whatever else you did all week?
PEW:: I’m not the guy who moved to…
LM: Wait! Answer that question, yes or no?
PEW:: No I didn’t.
LM: You didn’t drive back and forth to the [vacation home] twice?
PEW:: No I drove back and forth to the [vacation home] three times.
LM: Three times?
PEW:: Yeah.
LM: Okay, and the car ran fine, were there any moments or fears of imminent destruction?
PEW:: Yea, there were.

That was a dumb question.  Of course there would have been fear of imminent destruction.  Only then would her version of reality all come together for her.

LM: Okay
PEW:: And it hasn’t run fine ever since. I told you, you can drive the car if you don’t believe me that it’s not running.

Now it’s “not running.”  She can’t even keep her lies straight.

LM: I’m not interested in driving the car.
PEW:: I know because…
LM: Here’s the because, because it works for everything else in your life, except for picking up your kids in [my state].
PEW:: What kind of father would want me, with a car that’s not running right.
LM: You made a decision, stop with the story that I forced you to do anything. You took the car of your own accord. Please stop with the storytelling.
PEW:: It doesn’t matter that I took the car of my own accord, it’s not running right.
LM: It does matter that you took it of your own accord.
PEW:: Number one, it’s not running right, number two I didn’t move to [your state], number three, you were gonna bring them home today.
LM: One more time, if you have that in writing, send it to me, tell me, show me, and I’ll pack them up and I’ll drop them off at your door. Otherwise I’m going to make plans for the rest of the day, spend time with the kids and have another wonderful day with them, and I’ll bring them back Tuesday night when I have to drive up there anyway.
PEW:: Where is S1 and S2 now?
LM: They are downstairs
PEW:: Can I talk to them please?
LM: I’m warning you, be careful what you say to S1 because it’ll come up in court.
PEW:: I know because he’ll be testifying, so…
LM: S1, come on up!
PEW:: (To someone at her house) You don’t have any double A batteries on you? No. No. He went to get S1.

S2 would talk to her first.  Short, as usual, but a little more sickening than usual…

S2: Hi mom
PEW: Hi S2, what’re you doing?
S2: Are we allowed to go there, to your house?
PEW: I think we’re having a little mix-up about how you guys are getting home, so your gonna have to stay at daddy’s for a couple more days.
S2: Well S1’s crying.
PEW: He is?
S2: Yea, and I really want to see you mommy.
PEW: I’m sorry buddy.
S2: I want to come and see you mommy.
PEW: K, Well um, why don’t you put daddy on the phone.
S2: I don’t see daddy.
PEW: You don’t want to stay with daddy?
S2: No

RIGHT THERE!  See how she just slips that right in?  He says that he doesn’t see me when PEW asks for him to put me on the phone.  Her reply is, “you don’t want to stay with daddy?”  Right back at it again, she is.

PEW: Um, I’m sorry buddy, I don’t know what to do
S2: I love you mommy
PEW: I love you too
S2: Bye
PEW: Bye

“I don’t know what to do.”  That would be an example of the Gloria’s contention in the report that her parenting ability is “stunted.”  S1 would be up next…

PEW: S1 (sighs)
S1: Mom
PEW: What’s a matter bud?
S1: It’s cuz I wanted to come home today.
PEW: I know. Well there was a mixup and daddy thought I was coming down there and I though daddy was coming up here, so that’s why, and he said he has to come up here on Tuesday, so he was just…
S1: Why can’t you come down here? Please mom!
PEW: What, you don’t like it, are you not having fun?
S1: I’ve had too much fun down here, I need to have fun with you, I need to see your face, I need to see you so bad.

Hey, at least he told the truth about having fun, finally!  It wouldn’t register with her, of course, but at least he put it out there.

PEW: I’m sorry pumpkin, you can’t do two more days?
S1: No, it’s just too hard for me, I don’t think I can do any longer.
PEW: But, ask daddy if he’ll meet me halfway.
S1: Daddy…

She did it AGAIN!!!  I get on the phone…

LM: Did you just do what you did last week?
PEW: I said ask him to meet me half way. Is there something seriously wrong with you that you’re gonna, look at him!
LM: Do you see what you’re doing to him?
PEW: Do you see what you’re doing to him?
LM: I can’t believe you just did that again. You’re putting that poor boy in the middle of our BS.
PEW: Hold on a second, my sister wants to talk to you.
PEW: Psycho-SIL wants to talk to you.
LM: No I don’t want to talk to your sister.
Drunken Psycho-SIL: That’s good LM they’ll be good and upset when they talk to the judge on Wednesday. Keep them til Tuesday, good!
LM: I don’t want to talk to your sister.
PEW to Drunken Psycho-SIL: Calm down.
Drunken Psycho-SIL: (SCREAMS) NO! KEEP THEM TILL TUESDAY, THEY’LL BE GOOD AND UPSET WHEN THEY GET ON THE STAND WEDNESDAY!!!

(Laughing in background, others are present at PEW’s house.)  PEW gets on the phone…

LM: I can’t believe you just did that again.
PEW: I didn’t do anything, I said ask your dad to meet me half way.
LM: Stop putting the children into our disagreements.
PEW: It’s not a disagreement, you were supposed to bring them home today.
LM: It’s a disagreement and what you are doing is unconscionable, stop putting them in the middle of our disagreement. It’s enough to tell them that we couldn’t make arrangements for the exchange to happen today if you’re not willing to come down and pick them up.
PEW: He’s hysterical and you’re not even willing to drive two hours.
LM: He’s standing right over there and he’s fine he’s hysterical with you on the phone.
PEW: He was crying before he got on the phone with me, S2 told me that. You’re sick. You’re a sick person LM. Put S1 back on!

(PEW talking to someone in the background: “I know, I might, yeah” (followed by laughter))

LM: S1 come here.
PEW: What did dad say?
PEW: I don’t know he didn’t give me an answer. I love you buddy though, you’ll have fun with daddy for two more days.
S1: I know, I just miss you and I want him to come down half way mom, please.
PEW: Well daddy said you’re fine when you’re not talking to me, right?
S1: (Unintelligible)
PEW: What?
S1: I just miss you so much, I can’t (unintelligible) I just miss you and can’t see you. Please!
PEW: What did you say buddy?
S1: Please see you mom?
PEW: Well two more days. Today is Sunday and daddy says he has fun stuff planned for ya, then.
S1: Well I really need you, I want to see you
PEW: We’ll get it all, this will never happen again S1, I’m gonna, this is gonna get fixed up this week, okay, so that this won’t ever happen again, okay, don’t worry about it. You guys’ll have fun.
S1: Okay, can you ask daddy again.
PEW: Sure, I’ll talk to him again, alright.
S1: Bye.
PEW: I love you.
S1: I love you too.

…and back to me…

LM: Okay.
PEW: So he’s fine you’re telling me?
LM: Until you start with your manipulative behavior.
PEW: He wants you to meet me half way.
LM: No you want me to meet you half way and I can’t believe that you told him to ask and get involved in this, it’s a disgrace.
PEW: No you’re a disgrace.
LM: No, no I’m not the disgrace here, I would never ask him to get in the middle of a situation like this, I can’t believe you did. I can’t believe you did, I’m really beside myself that you just did what you did.
PEW: You’re beside yourself?
LM: Yeah.
PEW: I’m beside myself that my kids were supposed to be home today.
LM: Bring him.
PEW: What?
LM: Bring him home.
PEW: You bring him home. I didn’t move to [LM’s State]
LM: Stop with the I didn’t move to [LM’s State], PEW.
PEW: You need…
LM: Stop, spare me, don’t start with the diagnoses again please.
PEW: No, you said you were gonna bring them home.
LM: And what did I tell you? How many times have I told you now? Show me and I’ll pack them up and bring them home right now.
PEW: Well tomorrow you’re gonna be faced with contempt too.
LM: Okay, I understand.
PEW: Then you’re gonna have to come up again, so save yourself a trip and come up today rather than face the contempt charges and have to come up for that.
LM: Well I don’t anticipate having to face any contempt charges.
PEW: What?
LM: I said I don’t anticipate having to face any contempt charges because I’m not in contempt of anything.
PEW: You what, did you ask D-Mac if you were in contempt?
LM: Yes.
PEW: You did?
LM: Yes.
PEW: And she said you weren’t in contempt? How does she figure that?
LM: I’m not gonna tell you the details PEW. If there was any question that I was in violation of the current custody agreement, I would tell you, there’s a question in my mind. There’s nothing in the order that explains who’s picking up, who’s dropping off.
PEW: It doesn’t matter.
LM: It does matter, it does matter because…
PEW: (SCREAMS) No, because you moved out of state!
LM: PEW, it doesn’t change the custody order until the modification request is done or we come to some other agreement in the interim which we haven’t done.
PEW: So, you’re very confidant with this lawyer, you’re very confident about that, because, my lawyer is you know, probably the best lawyer in the state.

It was bizarre how she could go from a normal speaking voice, to a total SHRIEK, and then back to a normal speaking voice.  Very weird.

LM: Uhhuh, he has a job to do and I respect that.
PEW: Well he says that you’re in violation of the order. Who’s right? You’re lawyer or my lawyer? You’re gonna be held in contempt, and you’re so confident in this woman, I think you really need to go and read the order again, because he says you’re in contempt and he’s been doing this for twenty years. You got this week just out of, I mean I didn’t have to give you this week. I didn’t have to give you last, the week before.
LM: Let me know when you’re finished.
PEW: Well I mean, are, you’re really prepared to go in front of a judge and say that you know, you didn’t realize that you’re in contempt.

(PEW is talking to someone at her house again: “well she’s wrong” (and the person responds: “she’s wrong and he’ll lose. And you’re not going anywhere”))

LM: He’s really disappointed you’re not coming down.
PEW: I wasn’t supposed to come down, he’s really disappointed that you’re not bringing him home. (long pause, talking in background) Are you gonna meet me?
LM: Are you telling me that your car works to [exchange point] and back, but not to [my house] and back?

(PEW abruptly hangs up, slamming the phone down.)

I believe that the reason she didn’t want to come down was because she was having a party.  There were clearly a number of people at her home given the voices that can be heard in the background.  So, aside from the ultimate sense of entitlement, the reason she didn’t come down to get the kids was she was having a get-together.  That’s probably a good thing seeing as they were probably too drunk to drive anyway, if not during the call, shortly thereafter.

No, this is not the end.  You’re going to get to read them all in all of their mind-bending glory.  If you’ve made it this far, it’s probably a good time to go read the “LOW-CONTACT” post to see how much better this could have been handled had I learned of it earlier.  For me not to identify how pointless these discussions were after 10-years is embarrassing and I can’t say enough how using low-contact has dramatically changed my life, but the lives of so many of our readers, too.  Hell, have some fun with it, come back and tell me how many violations have taken place during this series!

Part 7 offers more mindless verbal dancing between the PEW and I.  It will also offer a new manipulative purchase effort and an example of just how sickeningly she strings S1 along resulting in him acting the way he did on the phone with her.