October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month - Remember…
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…it happens to men, too.
I was reading an article tonight, one among many, from Barbara Kay. This one, though, went against the grain a good bit and wasn’t the same old tripe that is so often trotted out espousing women’s victimhood with barely a mention of children and nary a word about men.
Barb brings a larger dose of reality on the topic by titling her latest article, Barbara Kay, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month; How about making November false allegations awareness month?
This is a wonderful idea that is still too big a challenge for the mainstream media to cover. I gotta give her kudos for her ongoing efforts, though. In addition to a horrendous story about a young man who was killed by someone as a result of fabricated domestic violence story, she offers some other interesting tidbits:
- In 2000, it was reported that the FBI’s DNA testing over a three year period had exonerated more than 30% of their 4,000-plus sexual assault suspects.
- The FBI’s Behavioural Science Unit’s 1983 study of False Allegations, a total of 220 out of 556 rape investigations - 40% - turned out to be false. (Over a quarter turned out to be actual hoaxes.)
- About 4,000 allegations of rape a year are levelled in Manhattan. About half never happened.
- Police officials in New Zealand state that 64% of rape reports are false.
The article goes on to talk about how men’s lives can be completely shattered by false accusations and its prevalence in family court, used as a means to get an upper hand in contested child custody cases, something that I and many of my readers have experienced first-hand. I, so far have been one of the lucky ones and not suffered the catastrophic fate that so many others often do. I’ve been subject to patently false claims, up to and including spousal abuse and child abuse, and the PEW even called Child Protective Services on us on one occasion (and the police several times). In my case, there has never been a single sanction or other repercussions for her provably false claims. That’s usually the case. It’s wrong.
Barbara Kay’s sentiment on how to handle false accusations are shared by many:
“All allegations of sexual abuse or domestic violence should be routed immediately to criminal court and the burden placed on the accuser to prove (usually) her case. Real punishment should follow on false accusations of abuse of any kind. When women get away scot free with ruining men’s lives - or provoking tragedies like those detailed in this editorial - it is inevitable that the message trickles down to society at large that false allegations against men by women and girls are tolerated and even [trivialized].”
The bottom-line is this… despite the massive mainstream media coverage that will undoubtedly focus on the abused women of the world, the public should also remember the nearly 1,000,000 men in the United States who report being the victims of domestic violence every year. The number of men and children who are killed at the hands of mother/wife/girlfriend is astounding - mothers kill their own children far more than any other relative. Children are least likely to be killed by their biological fathers. They should also be alarmed by the fact that there are little to no programs in place to assist battered men in need of assistance. No shelters. No free legal representation. No pro-father-bias in family courts. No multi-billions of dollars funneled to help just males via a “Violence Against Men’s Act.”
Never forget those realities. Let’s try to remember the disposable gender when we talk of domestic violence and death.
October 8th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Yes, let’s. And let’s write to our legislators and force them to change the way the courts function. And let’s write to our legislators and force them to enact laws that make false allegations punishable in a serious way. Let’s not continue to stand idly by while men have their lives destroyed. It’s an abomination… one I have, unfortunately, witnessed firsthand.
October 9th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Allegations of abuse seem to have become the “rage” (for lack of a better term) for some woman today.
The “professionals” have enabled this by broadning the term abuse to include just about anything.
My PEW has made such allegations and the result has been my 2 sons not speaking to me nor allowing me to see my grandchildren (the same grandchildren I was sitting with 3 days prior to my PEW’s allegations).
The allegations were made without one single police call, doctor/hospital visit, event witness, my arrest for alchol/drug use and after 35 years of marriage.
The allegation of abuse (either sexual or violence) is one thing that (for most people) proof is not necessary. Far too many people take the allegation as proof itself.
The one thing all of this has taught me (and I thanked my PEW for this) is WHO MY FRIENDS ARE! People that I counted as friends for over 30 years have stopped speaking to me and haven’t even given me an opportunity.
Please don’t think this post implies that abuse doesn’t take place. It does and needs to end, now.
However, the new “definition” of abuse (and the resulting attention it has received) has resulted in many lives being ruined for NOTHING!
I agree that there should be a burden of proof required and false accusations should bring consequences.
November 9th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Hi. I just came across your website and am in the same boat as you are.
My PEW has made such false accusations to numerous groups and organizations in three separate states - but never called the police, only took my daughter to a clinic after the first 5 people all told her she was a liar — and even though two separate CYFD’s in Oregon and New Mexico, as well as a Judge and city attorney in Utah have all told her she is a liar and has no evidence, my PEW continues to insist that she is right.
I totally agree that there should be serious consequences for false accusations, especially when those accusations come to light only after the husband files for divorce.
The sad thing is, despite have pages of medical records of my PEWs weekly visits to numerous psychologists, records of her checking herself into a mental health hospital because she was afraid she’d hurt my daughter, the discovery of her cache of hundreds of narcotics and sleeping pills kept on hand in case my daughter got out of hand and needed to be quieted, and numerous witnesses in the community who interacted with her and all agree that she is seriously mentally ill, the family court system refuses to believe that. Instead they insist that I am the ‘bad’ person and that I should try harder to cooperate with this psycho.