A New Wife is in the “Exact” Same Situation
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LM and DW,
I am so glad I found your blog. I have been laughing for an hour. I am in the same exact situation. I married a man with 3 kids with a PEW. We refer to her as psycho. I have e-mails that are so off the wall and very similar to yours. My friends barely believe my stories. I will send you a few to make you laugh. We have spent $175,000 in court because psycho did not believe our tax returns, she wanted to know if she could pick the kids up at our wedding in Hawaii because she deserves a vacation with the kids too, she has discussed in great detail sex, the divorce, unbelievable stories about my husband and I to the children starting at age 6 and 8. They are now 12 turning 13 and 15. She has marched across the room in court when she was asked how large her house was. On and on and on.
We have had to cut all contact with her and block her e-mails. I call this “No Contact”. We have already tried “Low Contact”. Then to complicate everything even more she married a really strange ADD lawyer that acts just like her with 3 kids. It is like two 10 year olds raising 6 children. His children now refuse to go home to their father’s because they do not want to be around PEW. So now the new husband’s ex calls me with stories. We have the CPS lady on speed dial on our cell phones. She has offered to go to court for us anytime. We live in California so the courts will not award anything but 50/50. So we have to deal with this situation. We have week-on and week-off custody. We have moved to a neighboring town so that we do not have to run into her in the grocery store etc. Thanks for your blog. At least now I know that I am not alone in this.
~The New Wife
New Wife,
No one knows as much as I do how there is some sense of morbid humor in some of what we endure - certainly as a coping mechanism. I know I would go insane if I couldn’t find a way to laugh at some of this. However, it’s hard to laugh at $175,000 in expenses and the anxiety felt by all - especially the children.
Keep your head up! Stay focused on making a life with as little chaos and terror as you can for yourselves. I hope your family eventually sees a positive outcome and calmer future ahead as I do with all in similar situations.
~LM
November 1st, 2008 at 11:46 am
LM and DW,
It was very comforting to read your website- recently, I have been trying to deal with our situation and it is nice to read that I am not alone. I have recently married a loving and devoted daddy-o of three beautiful children (4,5,and6); unfortunatly, I am now dealing with a PEW. The e-mails and text messages to my husband were kind of amusing at first, but they are getting way out of hand with the language and trying to twist it around to being our fault and the bad guys. My step-children who I love with all of my heart are stuck in the middle of her mind games- it breaks my heart sending them to the disney-world mom every Tuesday night and every other weekend. We are fighting for full custody but as you say, we are lucky with having primary custody. Even being a witness to all her mental unstability, I still feel guilty trying for full because she is their mother and every kid needs their mom. The house of spoils includes no discipline or depending on her emotional cycle, it could also mean paddle time or worse. I never know what I am sending them into. She has the four year old saying she hates me when she is with her mother and that she wishes I was dead. The six year old asks his dad if he listens when mommy talks bad about him, and to her, it is all a joke. I worry about them from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. I work full-time as a teacher and my husband works full-time too..but the PEW has all day to figure out how to make our lives miserable.To top it off- she left him! Well, I was hoping to find a way to read others people’s situation so I thank-you!
HM