The Psycho Ex Wife

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Continued from Negotiating with a Terrorist - Part IV…

With the costs of everything to this point in time (December 2004) and the Psycho Ex-Wife having had the house reappraised at a higher figure than when she decided to walk out… I was sinking fast and couldn’t stay in the house much longer. It was time to start getting out from under the strain and take the next step in this process. The housing market was RED HOT at that time, but we still couldn’t be certain how long it might take to sell the marital home.

LM:

PEW,

I didn’t jerk you around. We came to an agreement, and again, you rescinded. I’m very sorry about that. I’m very sorry we have to go to court.

I’ll be in touch about what we’re going to do about the mortgage… I can’t pay it, so our option are:

- Default.
- You and I have to sign-up for an interest-only refinance asap so that I can continue to afford to make the payments without our credit getting wrecked.

Please let me know right away how you wish to proceed because this is a HUGE issue that has a significant impact on both of our futures.

Please advise right away and I can schedule an appointment with the bank to refi the loan into an interest-only mortgage until the equitable distribution matter is settled. We need to hurry because the mortgage was due yesterday and the grace period expires very soon. The interest only refinance is the only way for us to protect our credit.

~LM

PEW:

LM,

No, you can move out. I’ll move in and pay the mortgage until it sells. The house needs to get up for sale regardless. Don’t try to threaten and manipulate me. I need to call [my attorney] ASAP obviously if you are about to default on our mortgage.

~PEW

Comment: Call her attorney for what? Is the attorney somehow magically going to make me pay a mortgage that I don’t have the ability to pay? I wonder if there will come a day that she’ll realize that she probably more than doubled her legal fees with such silliness.

LM:

PEW,

I’m not threatening nor manipulating you. My finances are what they are and WE’RE in a bind because WE can’t come to a fair agreement. I offered all I can and you want to litigate (again).

I’m giving you the courtesy of a head’s up and we need to do something about this. I can’t “move out” today, so if you want to go ahead and pay the mortgage for December… let me know. Otherwise, instead of reacting angrily, please consider the options that we have before us… and I will start asking around to see if I can get into someplace quickly.

~LM

PEW:

LM,

If I am going to be living there for Dec. I’ll pay the mortgage. I was willing to move into the house in Sept and share expenses. You didn’t want that. You get out. I’ll pay the mortgage. What happened to listing it? Who is this person your brother used? Do you need me to make the call?

Basically what we’re litigating over is the Van. How bout I drive the van till may? Then we sell it.  This is another one of those situations where if it’s not your way it’s the highway, there’s no negotiating. I don’t want to litigate this but like I said…..you want to split hairs, I might as well, I’ve lived in hell this long what’s a few more months.

~PEW

Comment: Is that what you call breaking into the house without warning, threatening to shoot me, and then starting fights for two days… “offering to stay in the house and share expenses” ??? This is the type of fiction she creates for herself regularly and worse, actually believes! Again, she is trying to leverage her cash payout by using the threat of more legal fees to get me to spend it one way or the other. Is there any doubt that she cares about nothing else? Not the kids. Not even herself. Dumb as a rock.

LM:

PEW,

I told you before… I cannot give you the van and the cash.

I’m flexible here, you are not. You can tell yourself otherwise from now until doomsday… but all I’ve done is come up and up and up with the settlement offers.

You make the choice:

- 50/50 house, van, no alimony… we’re settled.
- 50/50 house, $5,000 cash, car, no alimony… we’re settled.

YOU made the decision the other night. If you insist on litigation, we’ll put the house up when the judge says so.

Don’t you realize that even if [your attorney's] 60/40 is in the offing, and let’s use 100G for the sake of simple math…

You would get 60G I would 40G… and then IF [your attorney's] conservative estimate for pre-marital equity is accurate… it becomes 55G.

The offer on the table is 50G + 5G cash and the car.

Why you want to litigate this defies explanation unless you are just out to be vindictive and make this difficult not only on me, but on the boys?

Is your object to bankrupt me so that the kids have no future… no two happy homes to reside in? I mean, are you really thinking of the children here?

Is approximately $55,000 dollars and a car in perfect working order just not enough for you?

You say sell the van? I’m offering you half of what is expected to be gotten by selling it, and then what are you left with in May? No vehicle? How does any of this make any sense, PEW, I don’t understand.

[Your attorney's] response is to go 50/50 (non-house sale) and if we don’t force litigation, she will pursue more in court. I’ve done what I can to do a similar proposal, post-sale.

I’ve offered 50/50 post-house sale (since we know I can’t keep it)… and an even swap on vehicles (either car and cash or van and no cash).

Do you think a judge will look favorably upon your agreement to settle and then rescind again? This really seems silly to me. I want to settle. I’ve made every effort to settle. You’ve agreed and now you’ve backed out again. Every time I offer something more, you ask for something additional, even after you agreed. What happened to the good feelings and positive outlook we had in the last few days to turn you so angry and defiant again?

~LM

Comment: She is a stone-cold frigging idiot. (And so am I for repeatedly trying to use rationale and logic with twisted personality like The PEW.)

PEW:

LM,

I’m not angry or defiant. I just was thinking about the fact that I have to drive S1 to and from school for the rest of the year. I’m not so confident that the car is going to be reliable. I don’t want to litigate like I said. You’re the one who is not negotiating. All I asked for is more time to think and all the sudden you’re defaulting on the mortgage…..taking me to court etc… It’s more of the same from you LM….more of the same. I do want friendly, coparenting, and all that….I also want what is fair and equitable. Is there no price on what you’ve done to me this year?

~PEW

Comment: Oh, but of course… the oft-used price tag for the alleged horrors she has suffered all these years. I cannot begin to remember how many times those of you who have written told me that you’ve heard this one in various versions. The projection continues… she’s the one not negotiating, she’s the one threatening to call her attorney, she’s the one threatening court, she wants more time while complaining at the same time about how much time it has taken… and she still writes (and believes) that it’s me who is doing it. “Batshit crazy” is a term I’ve seen used in similar circumstances.

LM:

PEW,

I do not want to get into a debate over who has done what to whom… who has filed what against whom… we had made our apologies for how things have transpired during our recent discussions… and I thought we agreed to move on.

I’m not “defaulting” on the mortgage… we have options and we’re going to have to work together to protect both of our interests. That likely means agreeing to refi to an interest-only mortgage so that I can maintain the house while we get matters settled and put it up for sale. If you want to be stubborn and uncooperative, there is a risk there… for BOTH of us.

I have negotiated to death here. My first couple of offers were in an effort to be fair based on the sale price of the original appraisal. You didn’t agree, and I can appreciate that. I’ve come up more than twice since then and now we are at 50/50 based upon the post-sale price of the house and me going with [your attorney's] extremely conservative pre-marital equity figure.

We came to terms the other night and now you are backing out and accusing ME of “taking you to court” and “my way or the highway.” I asked you what you expected and you told me. I asked you if you would take the car and $5,000 cash instead of the van and you said yes. If you want the van, tell me so, but don’t now say… “I want the van and $5,000 cash.” That’s not negotiating PEW and contrary to your contention, it is “your way or the highway” - not mine.

I’m negotiated out. You are walking away with a little bit more than 50% of everything. That’s fair. That’s equitable… and it stops the contentiousness, the litigation, the costs, and the heartache. The court will look at facts and figures, not at how much harm you feel has been perpetrated upon you with all of the filings that you have initiated and my reaction to same.

Continuing this way is only robbing the boys of our ability to provide them the best future possible. I’m praying you realize that before everything goes really south and we have credit problems, continue to pay lawyers… continue to roll up costs… The money we spend is taking from them.

I’m not backing out of our agreement here. If you DON’T want the car and the cash, take the van. But don’t come to me saying, I want the van and the cash… and then accuse me of being the one saying “my way or the highway.” It’s not fair, and it’s not the truth. You’re the one with the choice here. All you have to do is tell [your attorney] to switch from the car and cash to the van, sign it, send it back, and I’ll sign off on it. If you are going to hold out for the van and the cash, I’m sorry about that.

~LM

Repeat myself much? The only think I left out was Graaaawwwwkk! POLLY WANNA CRACKER!!!

It’s almost over, folks… to be continued in the conclusion…