The Great Lunch Money Caper!
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Oh, what a treat when she comes out of nowhere with both barrels a’blazin’!
With the very fewest exceptions, I make the children lunch every single day they are with me. I rotate their different favorites, toss in a snack, some fruit, and a drink. Nothing out of the ordinary. Every rare once-in-a-while I get lazy. Most times I make lunch the night before and have it ready to go. Fewer times, I make it in the morning during breakfast. Rarely, I just don’t frigging feel like it and give them each $2.10 to buy the school lunch.
So, imagine my surprise when I get this gem without warning…
LM, If you are having the kids buy lunch when they are with you send them with lunch money. I put money in the account so they can buy when they are with me if I want them to. Last week S2 owed $10 from the previous week that I had to pay so that he could buy. And now I just got low balance notifications, so if they are buying… send money cheapskate!!!
Isn’t it amazing how condescending someone can be when they’re collecting child support from a parent who has more than half of the total custody time, is unemployed and is thus making significantly less money than her?
Originally, I was disinclined to respond, but was curious. If you remember the Food Deprivation Series, you know that this is a discussion not worth pursuing, but still ironic since less than one year ago, she was encouraging them to buy lunch when they were with me and I was packing lunch. So I figured I would ask the boys about it. Smart and savvy they are - it would appear that they occasionally “forget” to use the cash I give them since they are in the habit of just going through the line, giving their pin number and moving on to chow.
Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I urge them to “not forget in the future.”
PEW,
I send them with money the rare time I send them without a homemade lunch. One time last week, I left the house without my wallet and I will send them home to you with $4.20 this week. I actually meant to do it last week.
Other than that single time, I always send them with lunch money.
I spoke to the boys this morning and they said that sometimes they forget to use the money when I send it with them, so that might account for the shortfall. Of course, it’s probably in their bank here or there.
Way to overreact like a petulant child, again.
~LM
Yes, I tossed a dig in there. A rare moment of weakness. As expected, it comes with another reply.
[drum-roll please...............................................................................]
LM, then I apologize…..SORRY!
Okay, admittedly, I fell out of my chair and started hyperventilating when I saw that come back. So, I think it’s only fair that I wait a few minutes for you to pick your asses up off of the floor.
She apologized. It happens with the rarity of the return of Halley’s Comet. In all of the years since the split, it’s happened once before and is documented here: PEW Reverses Course - Apologizes. Like Halley’s Comet, I predict the next appearance of a PEW apology will be in 2061.
December 4th, 2009 at 4:48 am
Ha ha youve made me laugh first thing in the morning - which is rare for me! Thank you!
On a more serious note, I cant believe she sends the kids to school with a packed lunch PLUS credit to buy more food (probably junk food) at school when S1 has a problem with his weight! I think you are to be commended for making sure they have a packed lunch every day, yet making sure they have money for a meal if no packed lunch. PEW is jealous that you can care for your boys better than her, simple as that. You care enough for them to make sure they eat healthy food at home and get adequate exercise to ensure they maintain some level of fitness too. I think her whining about food money is just a way to try and put some of her guilt onto you cos she cant care for her boys properly and she knows.
December 4th, 2009 at 9:48 am
My take on it is that she only apologized because she’s looking forward to receiving the $4.20. What a freak.
December 4th, 2009 at 9:57 am
rflol! man that is just what i needed to start my moring. Print that email, frame it, plate it in gold
December 4th, 2009 at 10:19 am
I pack SD8’s lunch on Wednesdays, the only school day that we have the kids. Usually it’s wheat crackers with low-fat cheese and turkey… or organic PB, low-sugar jelly, and wheat bread. Organic low-fat milk. Fruit or fruit cup. Yogurt. Some combination of pretzels or baked chips. I try not to be a lunch-nazi and pack kid-friendly foods that have at least *some* nutritional value. SD8 loves junk food, of course, but she’ll eat healthy food if you offer it to her. You just have to take the time to do it.
We found one of PEG’s leftover “lunches” in SD8’s backpack one evening. It was a gallon size Ziploc bag full of chocolate chip cookies with black Sharpie writing on the bag that said, “Mommy loves you!!!!”
SD8 has ADHD, and refined sugar is like crackrock.
SD8’s teacher began complaining about SD8 being out of her chair throughout class, speaking out of turn, not sitting in her seat during tests, being irritable, etc…. all things you would expect from a child who ate a gallon size bag of chocolate chip cookies for lunch. This wasn’t a one-time deal. The teacher said this had been going on all semester.
DH confronted PEG about it in an email, in a nice, “The doctor said that it would be best to cut down on refined sugar in SD8’s diet. I’ve been doing XYZ and seen a positive improvement in her behavior. Maybe we could do XYZ and see if this helps?”
PEG replied, “She told me that you pack her lunch on Wednesdays, so that must be the problem.”
Yep. The once-per-week lunch on Wednesday is the culprit, not the daily bag of chocolate chip cookies you send.
Only in PE-land.
December 4th, 2009 at 10:29 am
They say sometimes that social critism can help the BPD change… maybe she’s reading our responses and actually thinking about it, kudos to PEW!!! People don’t change, but sometimes, they grow…
December 4th, 2009 at 10:29 am
My guess is that the appology only came from her knowing you would post the first email. She was trying to bait you, assuming you would post the first nasty email and then not post her appology. She is playing a role right now, not giving an honest appology. We have had rare appologies from our PEW, but they are never really how she feels. She says them only to show everyone else that she can turn the other cheek.
December 4th, 2009 at 11:10 am
It seems like PEW has really lost it since she found the website, all things being relative. I know she never really “had it,” but judging from the last few emails, she is so agitated that she can’t even keep up the charade of acting polite anymore.
December 4th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I predicted this very problem and took steps to remove any opportunity for manipulation of theft — I completely canceled the pre-paid lunch account I had set up at the school. I decided daughter would take cold lunch EVERY time while at Dad’s (they don’t permit cash payments for hot-lunch are her school).
This was a case where I had to break no-contact and let PEG know via email that the account was canceled so I couldn’t be accused of causing a hungry child. I wrote that she was welcome to open a new pre-paid account for daughter using her own credit card, but otherwise daughter needed to be sent to school with a lunch.
The only backlash came from some mumbled comments by daughter herself when this topic somehow came up. She was obviously parroting PEGs angry comments about “forcing daughter to always take cold lunch,” but I let it go and eventually the issue died.
December 4th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
What really gets me is that a simple apology makes so much impact. Our PEW is always congratulating herself on her “polite” “cordial” etc. emails. Hard to take seriously from someone who had just called you a “dick,” “cheapskate,” or, in our case, much, much worse. They seems to expect us to forget entirely (and they certainly forget) the last horrific attack they made, because it is interspersed with some normal human niceties. Talk about intermittant reinforcement!!
December 6th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Does no one get the capitalisation? That was a sarcastic “sorry”! But, also one that could be pulled up at court to demonstrate “good” communication. Maybe something’s due to come up that you aren’t aware of yet Mr M? I hope not.
December 7th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Okay, admittedly, I fell out of my chair and started hyperventilating when I saw that come back.
Seriously I laughed out loud and we are at my in-laws and everyone looked at me. That was great!!! Thanks for sharing
December 8th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Yeah, like SurvivorStepfamily, I thought it was a sarcastic sorry as well. Would you still count it if it was?
Since PEW has found your site, her emails to you have become even more fascinating. It really bothers her deeply that you have this web site. I know that’s not why you have it, though, but it does make for an interesting dynamic!
December 8th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Of course it was a sarcastic sorry. As one who tries to look at the positives (if you can believe that), I simply offer her credit for managing to string those 5 letters together AND actually press the “send” button.
December 8th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Yes, it is important to always try and find the positives, I agree. I have had to do the same, just now, when my husband informed me that his ex has skipped court and the country today. The positive is that it means she will be held in contempt of court if she does it again because it has been moved from family court (non criminal) to magistrates court (criminal). A penal notice will be sent to her. She has to turn up next time, or a warrant will be issued for her arrest.
January 7th, 2010 at 4:02 am
Hi Mister-M…and Happy New Year! It’s been a while since I’ve stopped by, and so I am going back from here to catch up. Had a LOT going on this way. I hope you all have a great year.
January 31st, 2010 at 8:39 am
One comment. YOU are continuing your fight with your ex through issues of childrens care.
January 31st, 2010 at 9:44 am
Please elaborate. Your comment doesn’t seem to make sense either in the context of this particular story or in general. Also, just a reminder, most of these stories are how I’ve (incorrectly) handled situations in the past, though this isn’t one of them.