A Father Begs for Time With the Children - Part 2
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Continuing from Part 1, A Father Begs for Time With the Children, we progress to the third exchange in this email dance that lasted for days. This one really points to her knack for changing agreements. After looking at the two options she proposed, I picked one. I only half-joked in this post about PEWs/BPDs reneging on agreements that even they floated. Well, read on…
PEW:
did you mean to indicate that you were flying the boys out of [custody-state]? Where are you taking them for these two vacations?
LM:
No, the boys aren’t flying anywhere. You said to “pick the 18th or the 25th.” I have training the 23rd and 24th. I arranged to fly out of and return to [custody-state] instead of [home-state] to save on drive time.
That is why I picked the 25th, because I don’t land until 5ish and I can arrange to pick them up at bedtime so that you can have your special Saturday and I can still spend Father’s Day weekend with them.
Vacation with the boys will be in [Beach Resort Town] from the 9th to the 16th.
PEW:
Well if it is going to be the weekend of the 25th, I want the whole day. We’ll go down the shore friday and we’ll come back Sunday. Otherwise we will go this weekend and come back Sunday morning, those are your choices.
LM:
There you go, changing the parameters again, just to be difficult. More of the same from you, as expected. I will pick them up Saturday night at bedtime. I will not be forced to drive from [custody-state], back to [home-state], back to [custody-state] as another in a long line of warped “paybacks.”
PEW:
You are the one who is going to look bad when this case is heard, not me. Look back at your emails, demanding, threatening, belittling me.
LM:
I am threatening nothing. All I am doing, at your request to “avoid appearing underhanded and surprising” you with litigation, is telling you what the consequences are for your actions. They are not threats. You’re getting more warning that a smart man would give a combative ex-spouse, all in an effort to *avoid* litigation.
PEW:
Also, I never faced contempt charges, stop saying that. The sheriff’s office even wrote a letter in my defense that I was in complete compliance.
LM:
After a couple of weeks of noncompliance and an order to appear, I’m sure that they did send a letter to the court that you were *finally* “in complete compliance.” Lord knows, you weren’t - that’s why they were searching for you.
PEW:
Would you like a copy? I’m going to send you a copy. This is what I’m about when I say that you harrass me.
You LIED in that PFA statement, so you can get your guns back and try to get custody of the kids. This is the whole reason why my attorney wants me to sign an indemnity. She knows we should have fought that. If I had a lawyer that never would have happened.
LM:
No, I didn’t lie. You didn’t fight it because you broke into the house on her ridiculous orders and she knew that given the outcome, you had no shot. The true shame of it was, I talked my attorney OUT of filing a PFA on the first day. It wasn’t until the threats came that I actually went and filed, that, and your uncontrollable antics in front of the children over those two days. Talk about “to the detriment of the kids.” You have some nerve.
PEW:
Get a life. Is this what you do for fun?
LM:
It’s never fun. It’s never, ever fun having to repeatedly set you straight on the realities of this difficult journey through divorce and custody arrangements only made more difficult by your obstinance and desire to use the children to “get back at me” for all of the alleged misdeeds done you, no matter how distorted or outright fabricated they may be. Each time you do it, I will reply with the truth of the matter at hand.
While you’re sending me copies of things, be sure to include the copies of payments made for the childcare, both to [Childcare Center] and to Mrs. JM. No more delays, please, I’ve been asking for months.
So ends exchanges #3 and #4. Her distortions of reality are epic.
Regarding the mention of contempt in this exchange - aside from the fact that she was never arrested nor criminally charged with making terroristic threats with the guns I own (which resulted in the restraining order I had against her) - she FAILED to abide by the court order to turn over the weapons to the Sheriff’s Department “immediately.” Several weeks went by and a bench warrant was issued for her arrest. Apparently, the Sheriffs missed her at home several times, prompting her to call me and ask if they were looking for her for something I was pursuing.
Only when she discovered why they were searching for her did she turn the weapons over to the Sheriff’s Department. She did have to appear before the court to answer the contempt charges. It was there that the Sheriff’s gave her a letter to inform the court that she was (FINALLY) in “full compliance” with the order. Nifty how she twists that to sound like she was in no trouble at all. Reality is - she was in big trouble and dodged a BIG bullet by not being home when the Sheriffs came’a'callin’!
So, let’s recap…
- PEW suffered no arrest for making threats against me involving the use of firearms.
- PEW suffered no sanctions for failing to abide by a court order to turn over the weapons with which she made the threats.
Do you think if it was me who perpetrated those two offenses I would have escaped punishment completely?
With regard to her attorney, she should be disbarred for what she advised her client to do regarding PEW breaking into the marital home. She was smart to protect herself, but not because she “knew they should have fought it” - but because they were in an indefensible position. You don’t simply agree to take an 18-month restraining order while represented by an attorney if you have even the slightest ability to defend your actions.
And, of course, after giving me two reasonable options with regard to the forthcoming weekend and my agreeing to one of them, she decides to change the offer to something that would cause a tremendous amount of inconvenience, increased costs for me, and most importantly - minimize time with the kids. I suppose everyone is beyond surprised now. She never did do anything “special” on the “special day” she lobbied so hard for, either.
June 12th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Yuck. Without fondness I remember the days before low/no contact, engaging my PEG like this. Oh, to have back that time and energy.
My case STILL did not finish on Monday. Originally scheduled fro 4 hours, we are still not done after two full days. PEGs attorney’s questioning of the child’s therapist took 10 times as long as it should have. My $1200 witness fee ended up being $4800 (but at least he is finally finished with that witness).
But this is the kicker — when the judge announced that this would be continued a third time into July, I spoke up asking that it be scheduled around our trip back east in early July. PEG looks over at me across the courtroom and says “I have her in July this year — we have a funeral in Wisconsin, I told you about this.”
Lol. Unbelievable, and yet so typical. We have court orders — “child is with father in July in odd-numbered years.” She never notified me of anything. She’s so loopy she is interfering with visitation orders IN COURT, in front of the judge who will rule on custody based partly on the ability of the parents to follow his court orders!
The judge said, “we are off the record, I suggest the attorneys urge their clients to work this out.” After she said this she looked at me and rolled her eyes (in sympathy, I hope), and then left the bench.
PERFECT.
Next court date is tentative for July 27th. It seems like it will never end.
June 12th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Comment on MR’s post: How is it, pray tell, that you PEG needs your daughter to attend a funeral in July? Will the dead person be stored in a meat freezer for the entire month? Am I missing something, or is your PEG really that Psycho?
June 12th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Let’s hope she doesn’t have some diabolical plan and “knows in advance” whose funeral it will be!
June 12th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
MforMonster, you are not missing anything.
Her mother died in January, and daughter already attended ceremonies here locally months ago This is a 2nd purported ceremony for the same person, but in another state with, supposedly, another part of the family.
It is all a grand manipulation. The thing is, she pulled the EXACT same thing when her father died in 2003. Disappeared with the kid out of state during my time, with no notice. I hauled her in for contempt that time (and lost, of course).
She has this idea that if she can come up with the right “excuse” or “reason,” people will sympathize with her, and if I attempt to call her on it, I’ll be a “monster.” This is how she operates — court orders do not matter. The world revolves around her. Worst of all, she’s informed the child of the plans and built them up. This places the kid right in the middle of the fight, and positions me to be the bad guy in her eyes if I cause the plans to be canceled. It’s really evil, evil stuff.
I do not know what they are burying in July — maybe it’s really her and they will pass out noseplugs? Sorry, that’s not nice.
My attorney is just as sick of her crap as I am, and sent her (attorney) a letter agreeing to a trade if PEG can back up all her claims (prodcucopy of claimed email notice to Dad, proof of purported funeral arrangements, proof of purported flight plans) within 48 hours. Sent the letter on Tuesday and have heard nothing but crickets…
MR
June 13th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
I think there is something in the water in that area. Not entirely joking.
In our case, the DA tells me that the state police have been notified. 4 days later…still waiting for them to arrest him on abuse charges. He even got visitation this weekend. No one can do anything until we have a warrant which we don’t.
I called the state cops and asked why not? They said they were busy with a funeral for a fallen trooper. SIGH.
BTW, last night he admitted to me on the phone that yes, he’s abused the kids and I don’t have enough evidence to “get him” or prove it.
Called the cops to make a report this morning about the comments. Mind you, this is a man who is sexually abusing his children–3 of them now. We have physical, psycholical evidence and the kids have admitted it. He’s now admitted it.
Where are the powers that be in that state? I’m astounded. OH, he’s arguing that he deserves MORE time than court ordered for father’s day too. I owe him you know. Again, astounding.
When I find out that PEW walked without so much as a wrist slap…I am saddened, but not surprised I have to say. Seems like status quo in that area. Let’s forget about it and pretend that everything will be fine. And when it’s not…let’s all slap our foreheads and exclaim that we never saw it coming.
June 14th, 2009 at 3:35 am
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August 11th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
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