False Allegations of Abuse - The CPS Call
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The summer of 2007 was no different than most in one respect. That one respect was that it would have some major malfunction due to the destructive nature of the PEW. 2005 were the threats from her, her family, and the alienation efforts of all of them. In 2006, it was serious ramp-up of the parental alienation, particularly via the phone calls to the children as we had them as primary custodians for that summer. In 2007, it was the phone calls to the police, the sheriff, and false allegation of child abuse with child protective services. Hell, even having the children hold hands is child abuse to PEW.
June of 2007 was sad enough. My last surviving grandparent, a grandmother, passed away. I had the children in [home state] and would have to travel to [custody state] to attend. It was because of my time at the funeral that PEW would call Child Protective Service and file a false allegation of child abuse against DW as she was watching all of the children. Technically, it was against both of us, but since I wasn’t there, we know that her motivation was to hang this false allegation of child abuse right at the feet of DW.
On the weekend in question, it was the one and only time she would come to see the children engaged in their swim team activities. A major swim meet was taking place and she actually did come to [home state] to witness their efforts. It was generally uneventful. She kept the boys with her at the hotel for the weekend and engaged in some interesting activities around the area. She came to the swim meet and there were no problems. All exchanges were uneventful and overall, everything appeared to go “swimmingly.”
What we didn’t realize at the time was what was taking place behind the scenes and all during the following week which results in this timeline of events…
The Timeline (Facts as we now know them):
- The alleged “abandonment” and spat between two of the kids took place on Friday, June 29th. The kids apparently tell her some story about this.
- Contrary to what actually happened, the story is morphed into something like: SD1 and S2 had a spat. SD1 alleged tries to choke S2 to death, leaving red marks all around his neck. This all occurs after DW locked the children in the house and went off to run errands for several hours.
- At no time on the 30th, when/after PEW picks up the children, do I receive a call from PEW about these alleged events.
- At no time during the swim meet, did I, DW, PEW, or any of the other 200 or so people ever notice these alleged red strangle marks on S2’s neck.
- At no time during the 48 hours she had the children does PEW mention this injury or any other problems, even though she sent multiple texts about the activities they were doing in town
- At no time during the exchange on July 1st does PEW mention these allegations. She returns to [custody state].
- At no point during the entire weekend does she take a photo of the alleged strangle marks. She doesn’t call the police. She doesn’t take S2 to the doctor. She doesn’t call CPS. She doesn’t accuse me or DW of anything.
- On Monday, July 2nd, we receive (and ignore) a voice mail from PEW that simply instructs us to “…never leave the children alone because they could stab each other to death.”
- On Tuesday, July 3rd, we receive (and ignore) a list of demands about the summer schedule and other stuff which, if we didn’t meet, she would call Child Protective Services and file a petition for contempt of court. (Of course, this means she is threatening to file a false allegation of child abuse as a means of extorting something.)
- We do not respond to her demands by her “deadline” of Wednesday, July 4th.
- Child Protective Services knocks on our door on Friday, July 6th, meaning she followed through on her threat to call them with a false allegation of child abuse. Ironically enough, she was supposed to come take the children for that weekend, but chose not to because “she couldn’t afford it.” Need I point out the irony of her leaving the children with an allegedly abusive parent and step-parent to save a buck?
The Contents of The Allegations
- DW left the children unattended for 4 hours
- DW and LM are starving the children which accounts for S1’s loss of 10 lbs
- DW and LM deny the children ice cream
Yes, an allegation that we deny the children ice cream, this is abuse. A child that was some 140 lbs or so at 8 years old was being starved. And CPS had to investigate even if the allegations are absurd. What a total waste of resources.
What Really Happened?
What really happened was rather simple and normal part of everyday life in a home with four children. The kids did have a disagreement which lasted a matter of seconds. It became, in some way, “physical” in some minor way and was quickly defused by S1 and SS1. It was so minor, in fact, that the children all decided that they weren’t going to say anything to either DW or me about it.
Where was DW? Our next-door neighbor, then shouldering the difficult duties of managing young twins, had a crisis (of sorts). It seemed that somehow, the twins managed to roll what appeared to be a poop-grenade into one of their rooms and were playing in the poop. Frazzled and lacking sleep, the neighbor called in for some tactical support to address the collateral damage cause by the poop attack.
DW went over to help for what was approximately 20-minutes to help corral the twins and get the room cleaned up. 20-minutes might be generous. She was outside in the yard right behind our house, a mere 50 feet from our own backyard. The children knew where she was and could come outside if they needed her at any time. Our children were never locked anywhere. They often played inside or outside of the home without our hovering over them. This was no different than other play period with the exception of the involvement of poop. They were given the usual instructions that they were to play nicely for a little bit while DW ran next door to help the neighbor. She returned from that effort to find - all of the children playing nicely. That’s it. That’s the story.
Now, we’re sure some measure of child storytelling embellishment took place when it finally came time to recount what happened to PEW. And, as PEW’s like to do, it goes through the “drama machine” and rises to a level of horror that only Stephen King can conjure up.
The CPS Lady, we’ll call her “Mrs. Cpslady”, knocked at the door and was polite enough. There had been a report of child abuse and she was here to investigate. She wanted to speak with me, DW, and all of the children. I politely told her that it wasn’t going to happen unless she met certain conditions. Those conditions were:
- She would allow the recording of all interviews in their entirety.
- She would acknowledge granting me permission to record all interviews in their entirety at the outset.
- That I would make an keep copies of all paperwork that were presented, provided, signed, etc.
Much to my surprise, she agreed and I allowed her to come into the home. She spoke with both DW and I and we explained the situation… high-conflict divorce, a high-conflict ex-wife who is prone to make false allegations of child abuse and then some… etc. etc. etc. By this time, the children were all sent to their rooms until I got to the bottom of what was going on and they were to remain there until I called them out.
I set up my recording apparatus in a hidden, out of the way place so as not to be obvious to the kids. They were all brought downstairs and introduced to Mrs. Cpslady and told that she had some questions for which she needed some information. As always, they were required to be 100% truthful and that this situation was “no big deal.” The kids were interviewed one-by-one, and the rest of us were required to remove ourselves from the situation so as not to influence the answers. Further, it also made sense because she wanted independent accounts of what happened from each of the children.
The stories were all the same. DW went next door “for a few minutes” to help the neighbor. During that time there was a short spat between S2 and SD1. There were apparently some shoves and the other two boys effectively demanded that they knock it off so that they didn’t get in trouble. That was the end of it. The funny part was their agreement not to tell either of us so that they didn’t get in trouble. The day went about as it normally should. There were no stories of locked doors, use of duct tape, chains, locks, or any other devices that might have been used to immobilize the children so that DW could go run errands for “hours.”
It wasn’t long before Mrs. Cpslady realized that this was nothing more than another false child abuse allegation with which she had to deal. She complimented us on how nice and cooperative the children were. She would make the report and close the file quickly.
A couple things that really aggravated me about the whole experience (aside from the experience itself) is that CPS comes to the home with what they call a “Safety Plan.” The Safety Plan includes language about the allegations that are worded in such a way that they appear to be presented as factually supported. We were required to sign the document that detailed the safety measures that were to be acknowledged and adhered to. My position is that when a complaint is completely unsupported by any objective evidence, then a “safety plan” is unnecessary. I refused to sign it. When she insisted that it was necessary that we acknowledge the complaint and safety plan and that it was not an admission of guilt, we agreed to sign it, but only after I took the plan, circled the offending paragraph in deep, dark black pen and wrote…
“THE ENTIRETY OF THIS COMPLAINT IS A FALSE ALLEGATION.”
Then, we all signed the document, including the investigator, and I promptly made several copies and filed away mine.
The real toughie was answering the barrage of questions from the children afterward. They’re not dumb and they were apparently more afraid than they let on. They knew she was from Child Protective Services. They immediately feared that they would be taken away from us. Calming them down was an unfun experience. They’re relief was aided by the fact that we told them that they did wonderfully and that Mrs. Cpslady really spoke highly of them and that this situation would be closed and they would not be taken away from us. Still, the look of terror in their eyes after going through an interrogation by a CPS official is something I’d like to not see in their eyes ever again. The boys felt very guilty as they immediately identified themselves as the source of what transpired and they all realized that PEW was the person who made the phone call. They were all quite unsatisfied by our answers of, “I’m sorry, but we don’t know why” when they asked why she would call CPS to “…try and have us taken away from you.”
Throw guilt on top of fear, followed by anger in children ranging in age from 6-9 and we did have some very unhappy campers for a little bit. Sadly, it’s an experience that they’ll not ever forget.
The Conclusion
When I hadn’t received a confirmation letter from Mrs. Cpslady within a week, I called for a follow-up. She was apologetic and assured me it was forthcoming. She went on to add that my “crazy” ex-wife was calling her incessantly all week long. It got so bad, according to her, that PEW finally stopped calling when Mrs Cpslady demanded that she “…stop calling me with this ridiculousness because I would be more than happy to come there and testify on Mister-M’s behalf about this matter!”
In our state, filing a false allegation of child abuse is a felony. We would have pursued the charges with Mrs. Cpslady’s blessing, but alas, a lack of resources prevented us from doing so. I’m not sure PEW will ever realize just how lucky she was, because this would have been a slam-dunk case and she could be a convicted felon. As it stands, she’s only an unconvicted felon.
Shortly thereafter, we received a nice letter from CPS declaring the case closed with no findings of abuse or neglect and no additional “services” were needed.
This situation only goes to show the lengths that PEW will go to wreak havoc on everyone’s lives. She does it under the guise of protecting the children. Unfortunately, doing what she does only hurts the very people she repeatedly lies about protecting. The collateral damage is just as bad. The fear and upset in SD1 and SS1 will also never be forgotten.
PEW only cares about two things:
- Herself, often at the expense of all others.
- Destroying our lives, no matter the cost and no matter who she has to hurt to accomplish that.
She would subsequently file both a petition for contempt against me and a petition for a custody modification (again) using this situation as primary leverage. She did this despite the ultimate conclusion of CPS and chose, as usual, to sprinkle another petition with false allegations, something she does often and has yet to be punished for it. It’s been long enough. Maybe her latest effort of making unsworn falsifications to authorities will be met with strong sanctions. Time will tell.
From my answer to one of the petitions…
Her actions demonstrate a limitless desire to reduce and ultimately eliminate my time with the children and she has caused a great deal of stress to not only her own children, but the rest of my family and DWs children and ex-husband as well. I am afraid to what lengths she’s willing to go and what stories she’s willing to fabricate in order to remove the children from my life. This summer has seen a new level of false allegations and I’m certain that the Plaintiff has no boundaries limiting how far she will go to destroy my relationship with my children and anyone else she targets for her unquenchable desire for causing harm.
This is at least the third in a series of false contempt petitions PEW has filed against me and she will not stop unless the court imposes sanctions so strong and so effective as to discourage her ongoing use of the [Location] Family Court System as her personal legal playground.
June 15th, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Why does PEW think calling CPS into the situation will improve things for her. Our PEW did the same, only to cause police involvement and major stress for DH’s kids and my kids. There have been times I have been tempted to call on PEW’s actions, but knowing the result of a simple phone call I don’t do it. Unless I feel the kids are going to be killed or seriously damaged, I won’t call. CPS themselves cause more emotional damage than much of the BS PEW does.
June 15th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
We’ve had CPS at our door no less than 4 times. Just recently we got a letter regarding another false accusation, but they aren’t invetigating it. Our PEW hates SO to the point where nothing will stop her from trying to get someone to take the kids away. Yes, we have called CPS as well, but these were actual issues that they decided they were going to close because the kids have so many different “care providers” that they don’t know who did it. So they just close it! Meanwhile they investigate a “burn” that’s actually a small rash, “abandonment” that never happened, and bruises on kids when we haven’t seen them for over a week during vacation. They’re all crazy!
June 15th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
I still can’t believe that so many people experience this. CPS was called on my husband too. Twice, his ex called CPS and tried to claim he was molesting his daughter. She also accused him of rape. She said she was scared of him. She’s doing it again to bring us all back to court, and she says she’s scared of him, yet she still allows their daughter to come over to our house? I could go on and on…Penny’s right though. They’re all crazy.
June 15th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Some of these comments set up some follow-up rather nicely…
She doesn’t *think* about how she undermines her own credibility.
She waits fully 1-week before making her call to CPS after discovering the alleged horror of the abuse that has been perpetrated on the children.
She does so with ZERO evidence of the alleged abuse.
She makes documented threats to call CPS unless I agree to modify the custody order to suit her extortion demands.
Then, after all that, she doesn’t want to pick up the children from the allegedly horrific abusers during one of her scheduled weekends, leaving them in our icy clutches.
Now, had we acceded to any of her demands, she would have been “okay” with the alleged abuse and not called CPS.
And they *STILL* have to come out and investigate the matter, diverting precious resources away from children who might actually be in desperate need of assistance.
Then, after a determination that it is unfounded and having been scolded by the CPS worker, she still files petitions for contempt and a petition to modify custody centered by these allegations.
It’s sheer lunacy.
June 15th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Our PEW has turned us in to CPSon numerous occasions as well. The first- DH slammed SS8 face in to the floor because he broke one of SS4’s toys. CPS NEVER came to the house to investigate or interview DH prior to the TRIAL. DH would have been convicted of child abuse if he hadn’t passed a lie detector test. The truth? SS8 smashed his own face into the floor throwing a temper tantrum because DH took the toy away from him before he broke it. The second- PEW turned me (JSM- just the stepmother) in to CPS and the state police for beating her child and scratching his knee. The truth- I broke up a physical fight between SS8 and my son. SS8 scratched his own knee trying to get at my son. The third time PEW turned us in to CPS was for allegedly locking SS8 in his room for days at a time. CPS and the state police investigated and found no lock on any bedroom door in the house. The truth- SS8 was sent to his room for back talking and was told not to come out until he could apologize and be respectful. He chose to stay in his room for four hours before coming out.
PEW has also blatently lied on so many court papers it’s not even funny. One said that she feared for her life and the DH had chased after her with a gun threatening to harm her. The very next document says, DH had never threatened harm, and she did not feel that she was in physical danger when he was around. One document says that he has always been physically and emotionally abusive to her; the next that he has never physically or emotionally abused her, but that she was sure he was abusing the children.
I could go on and on…. but I think you get the point. PEW’s will stop at nothing to get what they want, even if they have to hurt their own children in the process and make themselves look like assholes in everyone elses eyes. To my knowledge PEW has turned us in to CPS a total of 5 times (2 times CPS refused to even investigate the allegations). There isn’t a CPS investigator, or a police department (state or local) in the area that believes a word she says anymore. She trashed her own credibility and reinforced everything we have been saying for years… she’s a psycho.
June 15th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
For all the “abuse” PEW has alleged BF committed against her and SD, she should be under the microscope for why she hasn’t called CPS.
PEW keeps claiming BF committed DV against her five years ago and that’s why SD (who hasn’t had a problem in the interim) didn’t want to come over anymore. Well, five years ago, when this was allegedly happening, why didn’t you protect SD then?
PEW, of course, can’t keep her stories straight and now she acknowledges that SD never saw any DV (because it never happened).
Our friend, a social worker, called CPS on PEW after I told her what was going on - 20 school absences, drug use in the home. CPS closed the case “with some indicators.” PEW told them, “Yeah, I do drugs, but not in front of SD.” Then SD told them, “My mom does drugs, but I don’t see her use them.” Well, then, CPS darlings, how the heck would SD know about PEW’s drug use? Ridiculous.
June 15th, 2010 at 4:27 pm
I have a question. If filing a false report is a felony and CPS was convinced that PEW filed a false report, why didn’t they pursue it. Why would you have to spend your own resources?
June 15th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I don’t know, RJ. My best guess is that the offense is against me (actually, DW) and not against CPS. Therefore, we have a cause for action and not CPS.
June 15th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
CPS won’t investigate false allegations because it actually makes them look bad. They get a ton of federal funding based on how many investigations they have to do, if the government were to find out that 70% of the investigations are based on false allegations due to custody/divorce issues and the “abuse” numbers that feminist organizations routinely bandy about are made up of false allegations (and they know it), the funding would dry up. CPS doesn’t want that. In our state we have to go through an actual process with CPS legal team before we can even go after PEW for filing a false allegation, which takes a lot of money of course. That process is there to intimidate people out of filing charges. It works unfortunately.
June 16th, 2010 at 7:06 am
CPS usually doesn’t care about how children are reated, neglected, or abused at Mom’s or a PEW’s home. Their money comes from making all of these “time and resource” wasting calls. If they, CPS, went to the mother’s home as often as something was wrong or the mother was reported, soon the kids would be at Dad’s fulltime, and no calls. No calls, no need for CPS workers, no paycheck. It is really simple!! When over 62% of child abuse that is documented by The United States Health and Human Services is done by mothers, why then do Fathers have to fight so, even to maintain the typical 2 weekends a month?? Does KA CHING $$$$$ make more sense now???
June 16th, 2010 at 7:57 pm
What about psycho ex-husbands …PEH??? The system is currupt as a whole and some judges are now leaning toward the dad’s regardless of history. There is a new dawn of women being on the other side. I understand the curruption as a whole entity now after my experience and it is sickening.
June 17th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
“Why does PEW think calling CPS into the situation will improve things for her.”
Its called use of force by proxy, aka social aggression. Standard operating procedure by wives in divorces.
By definition, she attempted to use force, albeit indirectly through fraud. This is force because laws are not suggestions. They are backed up by violent force: fists, tasers and guns. She elicited the use of those weapons to further her will, period. The difference between this and a violent thug is insignificant.
This method of assault is functionally identical to physically assaulting someone that won’t obey you. Only this way its legal and the indirect nature of force by proxy allows plausible deniability and social cover for her assault.
Not pursuing felony charges is identical to allowing an ex-spouse to take a swing at you, and declining to press charges. It only emboldens the abuser and invites further assaults. However in this case the degree of abuse was far worse than a simple assault, as the weapons she attempted to use were far more formidable and she involved innocent children.
Mister-M, I admire your wisdom and your ability to handle PEW. I have learned a lot from you. But turning the other cheek to a violent assault on your family is counterproductive. It only emboldens bullies.
She crossed a line and observed a passive response. It behooves you to aggressively pursue felony charges next time.
June 17th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Lorax… if, at the time, we had the necessary cash to carry out such an effort, we absolutely would have done it. As it stood, the (still) ongoing custody bullshit keeps the bank accounts empty.
I didn’t turn the other cheek. It doesn’t take fists to fight back in such a situation… it takes fists full of CASH to fight back. I just don’t have it.
June 17th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
The “funny” (not at all funny actually) thing about PEW’s is the calm before the storm. Case in point here:
“All exchanges were uneventful and overall, everything appeared to go “swimmingly.”
What we didn’t realize at the time was what was taking place behind the scenes…”
I’ve noticed that whenever I have a break in the drama, it just means PEW is plotting an attack behind the scenes.
Most recently I had enjoyed a noticeable lull…BANG! I got hit with yet another Support Modification Hearing, which was followed by the typical nastygrams via text & e-mail making various & sundry threats and taunts.
Were there any changes in circumstances? No, same job for 18 years (not bad for a “loser, a-hole, blah, blah” huh?). Did I buy a new car? No. Nothing changed. Sad the courts just keep on entertaining this BS. But it’s all part of their billion dollar industry.
Yeah, I had my CPS scare too. PEW pumped 7 year old full of “reasons” to be “afraid of dad” during each trip to the therapist (after her BF’s son “inappropriately touched” my daughter!) She turned this disgusting act into a way to send a 7 year old girl to therapy primed with “questions” about her daddy. Worst day of my life when that (incompetant) therapist called me to say she’s professionally obligated to call CPS. They must have seen right through it because they didn’t even bother contacting me. Like so many of us, I’m broke too, but I sure wish I could have pursued the false allegation!
PEW’s think “the system” is their playground to do whatever they wish…and without a single thought about all the repercussions. PEW’s are agents of chaos; they need no reason to act, they just do whatever they please.
“Psycho” is not name-calling, it’s a diagnosis.
June 17th, 2010 at 8:04 pm
In reading this string I’m reminded of something a counselor DH and I met with while we were melding our families and dealing with PEW’s reaction to that. The counselor asked us where our line in the sand would be. At what point would we stop pursuing what we felt was necessary or right and just? He knew that we had already faced some seriously pshycho behavior from the PEW and that the kids involved were being alienated against me, my kids, Dad and the newly-formed family; and he knew that things were very likely going to get a lot bumpier for us. He knew DH had already spent $50k in legal fees and been through countless hearings, co-parenting counselors and custody evaluations and seriously suggested that we figure out how much was too much? How far was too far? How bumpy was too bumpy? Would we put our relationship and new family ahead, or aside, when faced with a new and difficult battle for these kids? I’d like to say that our response was that no cost was too great and no fight was too fierce for us to consider taking on, but it wouldn’t be true or helpful to anyone facing this situation. Every time we’re faced with a decision of do-we-or-don’t-we (and not all decisions are ours to make- one must fight allegations of abuse whether one likes it or not), we check our financial and emotional resources, say a little prayer to the gods of good parenting, and move forward accordingly. Sometimes we get to fight and sometimes we have to hunker down and minimize the damage to our kids and family.
We too were acused of physical and sexual abuse, shortly after our wedding and when I was very pregnant. We came out on top of it: the judge awarded us more time with the kids in order to mend the relationships PEW had tried to destroy, our local CPS now knows PEW for the PEW she is, the investigating Sheriff is now a good friend and advisor, the kids have seen that Mom will stop at nothing to destroy our family (that’s a sad fact I probably shouldn’t list as a positive outcome), and we’re stronger having gone through it.
But, MisterM, I think you’re mistaken in your statement that it takes fistfuls of cash to win this fight (although our monstrous legal debt proves that it certainly helps): it takes courage, determination and good ol’ fashioned guts of steel to keep plugging away when the hits just keep on coming. And I think you have all three of those in spades.
Oh, and our real line in the sand? When PEW, or we, are dead.
June 22nd, 2010 at 5:41 pm
[...] Borderline Personality Disorder. However, fear struck my heart one day last summer when a Child Protective Services worker appeared on my doorstep. Psycho Mom had reported that I was abusing the children, not only [...]
June 22nd, 2010 at 6:00 pm
We have what I thought was the CRAZIEST PEW in existence - thankfully we’ve never had to deal with CPS (well, not yet anyway) because she lives out of state and basically does everything in her power to keep the kids from seeing us. Oh, she’s evil alright and I can definitely relate to the “calm before the storm” - its like she has calendar entries set for different times of the month to start in about money, about abandoning the children, etc… Oh, and over half the pay goes to child support, but its just never enough - and im sure it never will be! So the trend continues… I feel so sorry for you both - it must be an amusing game for the PEWs. I myself sit back and laugh at how ridiculously predictable she’s become after 5 years of it. Never a dull moment - Good luck to you both! And to the kids!
June 25th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
I am having a similar issue with my fiancee’s PEW. We are constantly in and out of court at least one time a month. Today we were visited by the police at 10A.M. on the grounds that PEW’s 2 year old son is black and blue from abuse.Needless to say the only bruises he has are on his shins from where he plays. This is a constant thing and since February we have been visited by CPS on 3 different occassions that I know of with her allegations of abuse, medical neglect and (my favorite) starving the boy.
This whole situation started in October of last year (2009) when there custody battle started. SHe had CPS called on her for neglecting the boy and doing drugs around him. CPS placed the boy in our home. Neither of us do drink much less do drugs.
Let me clarify further. I have 4 cildren of my own which range in age of 12 to 17. I have never had any dealings with CPS until PEW. All he rallegations have been false and proven false. Every time the police come to the house I strip down the boy and let them give him a once over, end up going to the CPS office let them take pictures of him, and talk to his PED’s (psycho egg donor) case worker.
She has been in treatment numerous times this year. In fact she is in treatment now for her drug problem. Yet, we are the ones being scrutinized. Better still, the judge has allowed her mom to take the 2 year old to the treatment facility every Saturday to see her. You know because that is a healthy environment for a 2 year old.
Instead of someone actually charging her with BUI (being under the influence) and her spending a weekend in jail, she gets the priviledge of going to treatment numerous time this year alone.
My kids are watcihng all this and don’t know what to think. They have the routine down pact though. The police come, they organize their rooms, CPS shows up.
My biggest concern is how this is going to affect the 2 year old, my fiancee’s 10 year old and all of my kids.
When we got the 2 year old he didn’t even talk since we have had him that’s all he does. He was fundementally behind due to neglect. But we are being accused of being bad parents.
June 26th, 2010 at 10:28 pm
http://www.askaden.com/2010/06/do-i-have-borderline-personality.html
I have been in my relationship with my boyfriend for two years now, and I can’t really explain what he does that makes me so angry that I yell at him all the time. Some of the people that have rode in who are dating or married people with borderline personality disorder describe their lives is a living hell, but I feel like my boyfriend has ruined my life. I deserve to be happy, and all my friends have gotten engaged and I had to constantly yell at him and tell him that he’s wasting my time to get him to buy me an engagement ring. Now it just seems like one stress after another, he doesn’t respect the fact that I want a big wedding and he embarrasses me by not having a good enough job. What makes me think I have borderline personality disorder is even though he makes me so angry all the time I’m constantly worried about him doing something stupid like leaving me in ruining this relationship that I have invested two years at.
http://www.askaden.com/2010/06/do-i-have-borderline-personality.html
July 5th, 2010 at 11:55 pm
[...] and subsequent visits. False allegations of abuse resulting in visits and interrogations by Child Protective Services. Being spoken about in horrible terms, made fun of, and insulted to the children by PEW and her [...]
July 6th, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Vienna has Borderline Personality Disorder
Is it just me or does Vienna Girardi from The Bachelor appear to have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? The constant claims of “abuse” Jake could do nothing right. Vienna Girardi made so mant Borderline Personality Disorder type comments is was scary, “you are the worst person I have ever met”, “everyone back home turned their back on me” I really felt bad for Jake as you could see that her BPD type behavior was taxing on him. It also seemed like a text book therapy session when Vienna Girardi played victim and had dramatic emotional outbursts and crying fits.
So what do you think, does Vienna Girardi have Borderline Personality Disorder?
http://www.askaden.com/2010/07/does-vienna-girardi-from-bachelor-have.html
July 13th, 2010 at 1:43 am
Actually CPS gets funded based on the number of investigations they receive whether or not they “open/close/some risk but not open” the case. (I used to work there).
One of the reasons they dont prosecute false reporting is bc they do not want to scare away valid reports by those who may think if they share their concerns and then these concerns arent validated (whether thru lack of proof or bc it truly wasn’t what it seemed), they will be prosecuted.
The biggest is bc it is like civil court…In civil court burden of proof just has to be “is it likely this happened as the plaintiff states” as compared to other courts where its got to be hard, evidentiary proof. To CPS it is likely the PEW is completely full of it…in other words they know when someone is crazy. HOWEVER, to go so far as to prosecute…they’d need evidence. Hard to come by enough hard evidence to prosecute criminally, easy to have a pretty darn good idea it didnt happen and close the investigation.
Consider yourself lucky you had a worker smart enough to call it like she saw it.Lots of times the PEW is sucessful in manipulating an over-worked, stressed out, worker(esp. if they have an ex they arent particularly fond of who they feel has “caused them some probs.)
Save your evidence and go get her when you have a strong,consistent, PROVEABLE to others’ case.
August 11th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Luckily I have not had to deal with cps but I am currently tired of the lies surrounding an incident. My fiance lost his temper with his 17 year old son after searching for him at 12:30 at night for the umteenth time and him not being where he said he was going to be. They got into a fight and my fiance ended up slapping his son. Not hard but when he pulled his head back his glasses put a small scratch on his nose. This caused him to call his mother and tell her dad hit him in his bad arm. (The arm with 13 screws in it because he was out driving around with a bunch of kids at four in the morning) His mother shows up with the local police she takes both kids SD10 and SS17. Cop is not happy to be taking my Fiance to jail, he is aware of how bad my step son is. Now she is telling everyone that my fiance punched him three times. The man is 230lbs and pick up my 130lbs. I am at my wits end for knowing how to deal with this without losing my own dignity/integrity and not hurting SD. I am not even dealing with nearly as bad of a PEW as most of you and I am exhausted. I commend all of you for sticking up for your children and yourself.
September 7th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
I’ve had to deal with my own PEW, like so many others here. I won’t claim that mine is the worst, but she sure ranks up there.
I’m writing with advice that sounds overly harsh, but it’s what I find to be true: In the legal and procedural sense, when it comes to a PEW you must strike first, strike fast, and strike hard.
You may be lulled into thinking that the PEW is a regular, sensistive human being. Don’t be so soft. The PEW will destroy you by ripping your intestines out and stomping on them in front of your own children if given half a chance. This is not Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood, this is Planet Earth, and on this world we survive by beating our opponents before they beat us.
I’m reminded of Sgt. Hartman’s quote from Full Metal Jacket: “It is a hard heart that kills.” To paraphrase further, you must not hesitate at the moment of truth. Recognize the PEW for what she is and defeat her soundly at your earliest opportunity. If you must play for time and wait for her to make a mistake (and she will) then do so. But when she makes that mistake, you jump on it. Take advantage of the opening and drive a stake through her heart. Do it before mercy stays your hand and you will be glad you did.
You don’t have to put up with her crap. If she starts threatening to take you to court or extort you or what have you, then you just call her bluff and hit first. File a motion and demand EVERYTHING from the court. Set the bar high, put the fear of God into her and make her sweat bullets. Turn the tables on that poor excuse for a human being and watch her shrivel.
PEWs get what they want by instilling fear, so stand up to them. Show no fear, show no mercy. Make her regret that she ever tried to mess with you and you will have the outcome you want, which is peace and justice.