The Inevitable Discovery of ThePsychoExWife.Com
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We’ve occasionally discussed what we thought might happen should the website be discovered. We’re pretty sure that any number of things might occur and we’re pretty convinced that none of them would be particularly good.
We often speculate what might occur…
- PEW would call CPS (again).
- Maybe get her dumbass father to leave us a nice voice-mail again so he can say things like “whore” and “slut” and be all tough-guy on our asses.
- PEW would call her normal brothers and see if they would beat me up on her behalf (despite them knowing how absolutely off-the-chain both PEW and Psycho-SIL are).
- Threaten court (again).
- She would project all of her self-hatred outward onto me (again).
- She’ll definitely “tell my dad” on me. My dad, not her dad.
- She’ll tell others in my family.
- Maybe she might send an email, that might look like this:
LM,
I have decided that tomorrow I am sending a letter to [CSE] asking them to terminate your child support payments to me. Then I am taking the entire contents of your www.thepsychoexwife.com website to court with me….I’m asking for an emergency hearing…because you have lost it. The whole scary thing is printed out, particularly the part where DW says she hates our kids…and they have social and behavioral problems…someday if they choose to be like me “they will have to go their own way”? I’m scared….this is scary…I’ve read it all and with every new article, it just got scarier. You are a scary scary individual….and DW is JUST as scary. You do not have to pay for the braces…..I did not realize how sick you actually were. I will pay for the braces by myself. I’m going to consult with a child psychologist and find out if the kids should know about this, because I can tell you…despite what they tell you, they are very loving and affectionate to me and I am to them as well….I’m thinking you and ugly have a big HATE expedition going on over there….it’s not healthy….and it’s weird since I granted you without a fight 50/50 custody…gave you a huge break on child support….I don’t even know who you’re talking about on that website, but it aint ME. Please don’t kill me….because as I was reading it that’s all I was thinking, you’re nuts. Keep your money…make love to it, wallpaper with it….make a loin cloth out of it….use it for psychotherapy (highly recommended) just stay the fuck away from me.
This is the last email you will ever receive from me.
you’re sick…. PEW
Well… that’s what I imagine it would look like if just such a discovery were to occur. And if just such an email would actually be the result, I might be inclined to have the following thoughts based upon quotes from just such an email:
I have decided that tomorrow I am sending a letter to [CSE] asking them to terminate your child support payments to me.
This would be an absolute blessing because we absolutely need it. She’s not entitled to it except for a manipulation of the statutes to ensure a father keeps paying. I am in a very nerve-wracking financial situation due to being unemployed. I am LOOKING FOR WORK! I give you my solemn word I’ve been doing that (readers). Only in a PEW’s mind would one believe that we actually enjoy being in the predicament that we’re in and want it to last one minute longer. Taking $400 out of my household (previously detailed here) when you’re making about $1,000/month more than me is just plain bad for the kids. That would make all of her comments about my “loving money” the most pure definition of projection that there is.
A small part of me wants to believe that for a fleeting moment, she understood the predicament we’re in and how truly unfair it is for the children to be taking a dime more than nothing in child support right now. But, that clearly vanished over the course of the next few sentences where she renews her cries of “hidden income.” Unfortunately, I don’t think she’ll follow-through on this “threat.”
Then I am taking the entire contents of your www.thepsychoexwife.com website to court with me….
And? The court is already well-aware of most of these realities. I’m not entirely sure what bringing more of the truth to court would do for her. At least it will save me the trouble of having to make copies of it all for her.
I’m asking for an emergency hearing…because you have lost it.
The dreaded emergency hearing… because a random, anonymous website’s existence constitutes an emergency for the family court to entertain. I’m a threat because I write about what she does, but she’s not a threat for doing the things she does. I’m pretty sure she’s the one that’s lost it.
The whole scary thing is printed out, particularly the part where DW says she hates our kids…and they have social and behavioral problems…someday if they choose to be like me “they will have to go their own way”?
Huh?!?! I imagine if she were to discover the site, she would create such fiction. This is how she would twist the article DW wrote for the Step-Parenting Series, When You Look at Them, You Have to Stop Picturing Her. It is an excellent article that captures the true essence of what many step-parents have to face on a regular basis, particularly when they are dealing with a new spouse who has a psycho-ex of their own.
I’m the boys’ father and I can assure you that in the early years, the boys did have just such the social and behavioral issues that are described in the article. I’ve discussed them myself. Fortunately, our efforts over the years have eliminated some of those behaviors and minimized others. They’re growing up. They’re starting to realize that how they act will forever affect how others see them and treat them. We are 100% convinced that 50/50 custody has given us the opportunities to parent responsibly and teach all of the children about growing up to be smart, intelligent, respectful, well-liked and well-adjusted adults. Blaming others for everything that goes wrong in their lives is no way to make it through life. At least not happily. All they have to do is look at their mother to realize that. And perhaps they are.
I’m scared….this is scary…I’ve read it all and with every new article, it just got scarier. You are a scary scary individual….and DW is JUST as scary.
What’s scary is facing up to the truth. It’s very scary. Very, very, very scary, scary, scary, very scary. PEW has nothing to fear from us. She need only look in the mirror to see where the fear is rooted. It’s within herself and there is nothing any of us can do about that. With the cast of characters who support and enable her in her campaign of terror against us, it’s unlikely that she’ll ever realize that all she needs to do is choose to stop the madness - and it stops. The problem is, she’s incapable of doing just that. The only way she feels good about herself is to put others down.
You do not have to pay for the braces…..I did not realize how sick you actually were. I will pay for the braces by myself.
No, she won’t. Like so many have already warned me, orthodontics are another tool of terror in the high-conflict ex’s arsenal. Like clockwork, after court, and as predicted by so many - she’s trying to leverage it.
Here’s the reality: There is no pressing emergency requiring S1 to get the braces “right now.” It can wait 1-month, 2-months, 6-months… whatever it takes, until I get a job. What’s ironic about this whole mess is PEW so lacked care about the boys’ teeth that it took a school phone call to me (a while back) to get it done as required by the school, after two years of her failing to get them a cleaning. Two years. *I* take them to the dentist. Even the dentist never brought up the crooked molar S1 has. I had to point it out to the dentist in order to start a dialogue on the possibility of braces or extraction. She couldn’t even get S1 to the orthodontist - I took him. Now that the whole court matter is passed and she knows I’m over a serious barrel, she dons her overly concerned MOTY cape and swoops right in, repeatedly threatened to go ahead (in violation of the court order) and initiate the NON-emergency work herself, send the receipt to CSE, and have enforcement take over. Yep… that will help get the braces paid for. That will help expedite me finding a job. The teeth can wait. PEW can’t because waiting would mean low-conflict and no-chaos. She can’t have that.
i’m going to consult with a child psychologist and find out if the kids should know about this,
Let me save you the co-pay. The kids shouldn’t know about this. The fact that this thought would pop into your head is what is scary. It clearly shows that you are more concerned with making the children choose between us, than making sure they are allowed to love both parents.
(Side note by DW: This, this is exactly why we started this site, to document the efforts some parents make, destroying their own children in order to compensate for their own misery. Only someone whose mind is in complete hell would choose to destroy the innocence of their own children. We hoped, and we know, that we have helped many go through this situation and help their children become loving beings, despite what one parent has done to them. We hope the courts continue to recognize the alienation that some parents put their children through, and the lasting affects it has on their lives.)
Further, if I were in your shoes, I’m not sure I would share it with anybody. If I pulled half the shit you’ve pulled over the years for no good reason, I sure as hell wouldn’t want any normal people reading about it.
because I can tell you…despite what they tell you, they are very loving and affectionate to me and I am to them as well….
They don’t tell me anything about their interactions with you, generally. If they volunteer something, we encourage a discussion and never say a cross word or make a strange face. We understand the importance of not denigrating their mother to them. We’re sitting here wondering when you and your crazy-assed family are going to act like adults and do the same. Also, I don’t interrogate them about it like you do. We know they love you very much. We don’t constantly tell them that when they are 12 they can tell the courts who they want to live with, we don’t call you names, lie about you, or even tell them all of the crazy things you have done. Because it’s not healthy for them to know your problems, they only need to know you love them.
The problem is, you don’t realize how much they love us. You don’t care. You don’t realize just how much they enjoy their lives with us. You don’t care. As is the case with most PEW’s, you see their loving the other parent as a betrayal of you, and that just won’t be permitted to occur. This is why you continually to try to DESTROY their relationship with me, just as you’ve again threatened in this very email as you have so many others before it.
As always, your ability to project is boundless. The existence of this site isn’t about the kids, yet, you will try to make it into that, using them again while not bothering to realize how it hurts them, only this time it’s not for money, yet. It’s to try, as you have for more than 5-years now, to destroy their relationship with their father. All because your hatred for me is bigger than your love for them.
I’m thinking you and ugly have a big HATE expedition going on over there….it’s not healthy….
Would it surprise you to learn that what you’re “thinking” would be wrong again? It is I who make sure you get a call-back anytime we miss a call. It is I who make sure they call you on your birthday if the custodial time is with me (something you didn’t do again this year). It is I who avoid going back to court unless I have a very legitimate reason for doing so. It is I who have never called the police on you for no reason. It is I who have never called Child Protective Services on you for no reason (and with regard to your sister, finding out I probably have very GOOD reason given her ongoing pattern of criminal behavior). My list of things that I do to ensure a good ongoing positive relationship between you and the children is quite long. Do you even have a list?
The “hate” only flows one way in this situation, PEW… from you. We just want you to fucking stop. Also, ugly? What are you 6 years old? At least pick up a thesaurus if you want to insult someone. You might also want to look up the definition of “expedition” and figure out how it relates to you constantly looking for DW online. How many hours a day do you look for her online? How many hours of your life have you wasted stalking your ex-husband’s partner, who you walked out on? If you took all of those hours and did something constructive, like helping to teach your kids how to ride a bike, or get a degree - maybe you would be able to afford your house and stop asking me, the guy who allegedly “abused you for ten years” to come back to you. Or you could just ask your sister for some of her millions.
..and it’s weird since I granted you without a fight 50/50 custody…gave you a huge break on child support…
Huh?!?!
- PEW loves to talk about how she “grants” me things, as if she is someone who has the authority to do so. She “granted” me nothing. The court ORDERED 50/50 custody after SHE filed for sole custody. She FOUGHT for it since June of 2004. Eventually, after the court system extracted all of our money, I was awarded 50-50 shared-parenting in 2007. This exemplifies her disordered personality. Only PEW would totally believe that she “granted me” 50/50 custody “without a fight.” Anyone who has followed this story knows that all she has ever done is fight against me having custody. Given the entirety of our rather lengthy court docket, she’s either really, really sick… or just a liar who simply expects everyone to believe the tripe she spews.
- She didn’t “grant me” a huge break on child support. Sparing repeating the details, it was a mutual agreement (that benefited her much more substantially than it did me) so we could avoid court where she would be forced to testify about the real figures her psycho sister was paying in rent and all of the money she receives from other family members. In doing so, she avoided yet another charade of having her sister do the “move-out” prior to a child support hearing only to have her “move-in” shortly after the hearing and CS order to keep from reporting the income. PEW doesn’t “grant breaks” despite what she might claim in such an email. Further, she conveniently blocks out all of those thousands of dollars she’s ripped-off me and the children with that move-in/move-out charade and failing to pay for her portion of childcare expenses for 2 FULL summers. The only one who has ever relinquished credits/money to which they were entitled to in court - has been me. PEW only makes an agreement to take “less” child support money when she’s at risk of being outed hiding income.
I don’t even know who you’re talking about on that website, but it aint ME.
Oh, yes it is, PEW! It’s you in all of your despicable glory. You and your family - well, primarily you, your sister, and your father. The rest just let it all happen regardless of the far-reaching impact on those two precious children.
And, if it isn’t you, then you shouldn’t have even managed to discover this place, let alone make threats about fighting to take away my parenting rights again, right? Which side are you going to play on this? Is it you? Isn’t it you? Or will you take BOTH sides as you normally do?
Please don’t kill me…
What the hell is with this? What kind of a total drama-queen freak writes this? I am not a threat to you. I have never threatened you. I have never been a threat to you. I never will threaten you. I will not cause you harm. I will continue, despite all you have done, to foster a good, loving relationship between you and the children. I have protected your relationship with the children. I regularly let them know that you love them. I answer your calls and return them so you can talk to them. I will continue to do so. This what a good, normal parent does, and is nothing like what you have done in terms of parenting. What’s your excuse?
The only threats that have ever been made since this whole mess began have been by you and members of your family. You have wished me dead in front of the children several times. You told me that you hoped I would die when I had skin cancer and referred to me as “scarface.” When I talk about your PROJECTION - this is another instance that I would “throw on top of the pile” if I could actually throw that high.
Keep your money…make love to it, wallpaper with it….make a loin cloth out of it….use it for psychotherapy (highly recommended) just stay the fuck away from me.
If I had enough money to make a loin cloth, I would consider it. However, right now, I just can’t spare the paper. And I will stay away from you, as I always have. I will not stalk you online all the time, like you do to us… I will not text you 10+ times consecutively, like you do to us… I will not email you over and over and over again, like you do to us… I will not leave you threatening voice mails, like your family does to us… I will not write you threatening emails, like you and your family does to us… I will not file sworn falsifications to authorities, like you do to us… I will not call the police for no reason, like you do to us… I will not make false allegations to Child Protective Services, like you do to us…I will not drive by your house constantly, like you do to us…
I will continue to pay far more money to be a part of the children’s lives than you will ever hope to. I’ve driven more, paid more, sacrificed more, and overcome some tremendous odds and barriers to be in their lives the 50% of the time that was eventually “granted by the court.” This includes paying for a separate home in order to be in their lives. You have done none of these things and, like some others in your family - steal from the hard work of others due to your tremendous sense of entitlement and the bias that is afforded too many mothers in family courts all over the country. PEW, you’re a taker. You always have been. You always will be.
The following is an indisputable fact: I pay FAR MORE money to be in the children’s lives than I would have to pay if I “opted-out.” No amount of your accusations about this being “all about money” for me will EVER be true. It would be significantly cheaper for me to voluntarily walk away and become a non-custodial parent again. The fact is also that doing so would be the worst possible thing for the children. After 5+ years, one would think you would stop making such completely baseless, totally unsupportable allegations, but I suppose as long as you can find a few brainless individuals to pat you on the back and tell you that you’re right, you’ll keep doing it.
Fortunately, for the children, they also have a step-mother in their lives who will be able to be a significant part of teaching them about respect, responsibility, self-sufficiency, culture, goals, hopes, dreams… and all of the amazing things that normal grown-ups work so hard to instill in their children and step-children. She spends time with them, she finds things for them to sign up for and offers to register them for things to expand their interests and knowledge… and she helps with taking them to sporting activities and classes, she takes them fishing and on hikes, even when I can’t go. She does all of these things while you sit them in front of a TV or computer so you don’t have to deal with them. Despite all of the efforts you and your family have undertaken in order to tear her down to the children - they love her and respect her, too. Get used to it. You should be incredibly thankful yourself that I have someone like her in their lives along with me when the alternative could be much, much worse. I could be with someone like you: Someone for whom the path of least resistance and lack of anything but creating drama, chaos, and terror for others seems to be all they know how to do.
Many blessings and thanks are deserved to all those new spouses and significant others who manage to do so in the face of dealing with an exceedingly hostile ex-wife or ex-husband (of their new partner). It’s not easy. And to those who didn’t quite make it, thanks for trying.
This is the last email you will ever receive from me.
you’re sick….
I’ll bet that’s not the truth, either. You just can’t stop yourself. But if you want to try, I also suggest no phone calls or texts, we would love the silence.
So, I imagine that if ThE Psycho Ex-Wife were to actually discover thepsychoexwife.com… and if the PEW were to actually send an email to let us know that she’s discovered thepsychoexwife.com… this is probably how I imagine it would go down.
Denial.
Lies.
Threats.
Projection.
Crazymaking.
August 24th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Wow - SHE IS CRAZY!!!!
August 24th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Uhh…so she didn’t Actually say any of that or discover the site, you just created this huge fictional scenario email and responded to it on your site as if it were real? *scratching head* can you clarify please..?
August 24th, 2009 at 11:28 am
well I guess this makes everything even more interesting than it already was doesn’t it? good to know that she continues to live up to the worst predictions and descriptions of her.
August 24th, 2009 at 11:36 am
The fictional scenario above is fiction… thus, making it non-fiction.
Sincerely,
Speaksinriddles
August 24th, 2009 at 11:41 am
OK let’s play 20 questions. why can you not give a straight answer?
August 24th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Replying at length and in ernest to an email that she never sent……are you crazy???
August 24th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Ah, humor is lost. It’s real folks, very, very real.
August 24th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
YIKES!!!
August 24th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Oh… I love that you get to respond to The Crazy in public. My partner’s PEW reads my blog and though the main subject of my blog has nothing at all to do with her, I love talking about how happy and wonderful my partner is and how happy we are because I know it just drives her batshit crazy. Keep on telling the truth!
August 24th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Some “irreplaceable mom” took it upon herself to locate the PEWs of several of the forum members and let them know about the site. Wouldn’t surprise me if she did it with your PEW, too, Mister-M.
August 24th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Don’t fret, there’s nothing she can do. i once read about another person who has a blog (i think a woman with a PEH) and the courts said as long as it was all anonymous then it’s fine.
Just hope the kids don’t ’stumble’ upon it because then that actually could fuel PEW’s fire, not to mention that it would be detrimental to them psychologically (even though what they’re reading is undoubtedly true) and maybe even make them resent you(as weird as that may seem) for them having to swallow the whole ugly truth about their other parent.
DW and MistrM i’ll bet you anything that PEW tells the children. What do you think? :/ Tells them that Dad made up all these horrible things about her, blah blah blah. Wouldn’t put it past her to not think of how it would affect the children putting them in the middle with no idea what to think, not knowing what they want to believe, … They shouldn’t have to deal with shiz at that age. I remember just even finding my mom’s diary when i was young and my parents were separated and it was Really Really hard swallowing those truths. I still to this day hate that i found it.
Kou, who did that? I wonder how they could even find out. As we all know, this is anonymous in pretty much every way. I would think that unless the PEW herself stumbled on it and had the dreadful realization, there would be no way to tell.
August 24th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
# Kou Says:
August 24th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Some “irreplaceable mom” took it upon herself to locate the PEWs of several of the forum members and let them know about the site. Wouldn’t surprise me if she did it with your PEW, too, Mister-M.
Really? Did this happen?
August 24th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Come Again, I have no doubt she will eventually tell the kids about the site, because she cares not one iota how they are hurt in all of this. She only cares about herself, and because she is hurt, everyone else must feel pain as well, it’s the only thing that can make her feel better.
August 24th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Fun. While it is true that you’ve not used any real names (people or places), your risk for liability is entirely dependent on the whim of the judge (should it come to legal action). Remember all that logic that went into your child support ‘readjustment’…?
For (Mister-M’s) PEW’s record: Dear Judge, you are nothing more than a lawyer washout. You weren’t good enough to stay in private practice, so instead you bring your laziness and indifference to the bench. How pathetic you are. Please help save the children in your district and retire this moment.
August 24th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Get off the stimulants.
August 24th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Realistically, for anything to legally happen as a result of this site the plantiff would have to establish that it violated a “no bad mouthing” clause in a custody order. So the issue would really be whether the children knew of it’s existence, and that it was targeted at them to harm the relationship with mom. As lot of it contains political speech in terms of opinions on the family court process, it would be difficult for the family court to order it taken down. Especially given that names and locations are not provided, making it in essence impossible for third parties to idenify the subjects of the blog with any degree of legal certainty.
August 24th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I’m just speechless. Our PEW would probably say the same exact thing. Especially the “please don’t kill me” part. Such a crock of horse poo. I hope this blog is protected, as it rightfully should be, against her baseless accusations. It does nothing but help people.
August 24th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I don’t even know what to say. First I thought it couldn’t be her, must be fictional because she seems to have run the email through spell check first - but maybe that is just my PEW.
Sending you both rain coats to help you ride out the shit storm.
Love this “And, if it isn’t you, then you shouldn’t have even managed to discover this place, let alone make threats about fighting to take away my parenting rights again, right?” LOL so true.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
You know, we do have this little thing called the First Amendment…
August 24th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Um, according to the beginning of this post, it’s all FICTIONAL.
Mister-M Says:
August 24th, 2009 at 11:36 am
The fictional scenario above is fiction… thus, making it non-fiction.
Sincerely,
Speaksinriddles
Non-fiction would mean TRUE, which contradicts your opening paragraph. And DW “joins in?” Do you guys really have nothing better to do than “imagine” drama?
August 24th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Sorry I was so utterly confusing, Jen. I’m fairly sure that right now it’s been cleared up.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
First what is an emergency hearing going to do for her? She says nothing in her email about modifying custody and only that she is going to terminate your obligation to pay child support and pay for the braces herself… it’s all good for you right? If she can hold you to your statements in this blog (even if they were about her :)) can’t you hold her to her statements/e-mails to you? While I am sure the shit is about to hit the fan, I CANNOT WAIT! to see how this all unfolds!! Mister M, you and DW are in my thoughs and prayers…go get her! Go get her for all of us that have been dealing with our own PEW and have gotten very little justice in the process… while a victory will be far sweeter on your end, all of us will be vindicated just a little bit ourselves.
Keeping my fingers crossed that the court FINALLY get it right for a change!
KML
August 24th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
I was SO confused about whether this e-mail and response were true or not….but it sounded SO much like her and I just couldn’t imagine you’d have wasted the time to make it all up.
THEN I was a really disappointed that I couldn’t read the actual e-mail that I was positive MUST have come of all this.
Good thing I read the comments section! NOW I gotta go back and read it ALL OVER AGAIN, with the right understanding this time. Thanks a lot, O Cryptic One!!!! LOL!
August 24th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
I wish you the best.
I have to tell you that this is why my blog went private earlier this year. I found out that ex’s atty had “googled’ me and was fishing for info online.
Although I’m not sure anything would come of it, I’m sure his negative advocate lawyer would TRY to make something out of it, thus costing me LOTS of money in the process.
The ex discovering a website–scary actually. Very scary.
August 24th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Very scary. Very very scary very scary scary very very scary.
August 24th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Haha, oh our PEW has been googling me for years, it’s a national pastime in her house, under the guise that she wanted to make sure I wasn’t a “criminal.” LMFAO. Hilarious considering she has an entire family full of criminals, we know, we have the police records. You know if *I* had a DUI, criminal conspiracy or assault record like several members of her family do, she would be all up in the court’s ass making sure I couldn’t be anywhere near her “precious children.”
August 24th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Mark, We do have a clause like that, but in order for the clause to be invoked WE would have had to show the site to the kids, which we would not, and have not. PEW of course wants to, because she doesn’t care what the court order says, or the affect her other alienation has on the children, never has, never will.
August 24th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Wow…just, WOW….just..OMG…Lost for words…
August 24th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Mr. M,
As soon as I read the header, I became nauseous. Literally sick to my stomach. I know we all try to keep positive, take the high road, wait for karma… But sometimes it’s best to be realistic. Have you looked into laws specific to your county? Federal statutes? Precedents in court?
We, here on this board, all have a strange connection. To see this happening to you almost feels like it’s happening to me - or a beloved family member. I hate to stand by and watch, knowing there’s knowing I can do. Nothing but to say how sorry I am for you. This sucks. I hope we don’t have to become martyrs for future generations. I hope a change can take place now.
DW,
Take care of him and stay strong. You have our support; small comfort, but it’s all we have to give.
August 24th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
This we’ll survive, too. Either that family will wake the hell up and begin to end the madness and get the appropriate people the help they so desperately need… or it will strengthen their resolve to continue acting like utter maniacs… towards us… towards the children… towards the general public… with their behaviors.
My guess is the latter, which would have gone on regardless.
August 24th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Wow, !!! I though it was fiction too. I’m praying for you Mister-M. I can only imagine the chaos that is snowballing your way. Keep us up to date and Good Luck. I wish I could win the lottery and help you out of this whole situation, Really.
August 24th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
You have fulfilled a dream of PEW. Seriously….this is her ultimate victimization….you and DW have created a whole web site dedicated to her and gathered reams of individuals to collectively focus on her. For her disorder it is like the sky has opened up there is a beam of light coming down on her, anointing her as the world’s ultimate victim….her greatest fears of irrelevance and abandonment are assuaged….she is relevant in cyber space for evermore and she has almost unlimited attention focused on her drama.
ROFL, let her take you to court…then file for custody with supervised visitation. The second she refers to this site in a legal document, every last word will be admissible and you will finally have the totality of her craziness on the record…no more half-assed perfunctory custody evaluations that look at a snapshot and apply generalizations….let her furnish evidence that she did not do these things…let her deny every single fact you have posted with evidence. How can any judge faced with this craziness, proven and “on the record” think she is capable of co-parenting and if she isn’t…. come to a conclusion that she is the better parent for primary. No chance. The best thing for these kids would be to move to live fulltime with you and DW and to have occasional and short, preferrably supervised, visits with their toxic mother.
Detailed facts over extended periods of time….the #1 enemy of the BPD….this is how I won custody of my kids against my PEW.
Welcome to the discussion PEW!
August 24th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
What can I say but I am sorry for you MisterM, DW, and the kids. PEW’s out there I am not sorry for you and your kind, You do your best to take kids away from great parents and you do it in the so called name of their best interest of the children. You have no regard for anyone but yourself and you all disgust me with your actions. I wish you could see outside yourself and see the damage you cause all around you.
Again Mister M I am sorry for what you have, are, and will go through. We will keep you and your family in our prayers because I know you are going to need it.
August 24th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Schottsax is right.
If this website goes to court, then you can prove each and every detail.
This in the end would destroy her… and her credibility.
And it becomes public record.
And the great thing about it is that, once proven, you could put the real names of the PEW and her sicko family, so that the world can just learn what a demented group of people they are.
Its just sad that you were once a part of such family.
August 25th, 2009 at 5:27 am
“DW and MistrM i’ll bet you anything that PEW tells the children. What do you think? :/ Tells them that Dad made up all these horrible things about her, blah blah blah. Wouldn’t put it past her to not think of how it would affect the children putting them in the middle with no idea what to think, not knowing what they want to believe, … They shouldn’t have to deal with shiz at that age. I remember just even finding my mom’s diary when i was young and my parents were separated and it was Really Really hard swallowing those truths. I still to this day hate that i found it.” come again…..?
wow I am thinking you are our pew! our PEW would say all of the above, but she is the one guilty of what she says, not us. she has never seen it that way though. we know this page could happen to all of us. I don’t hate…just want her to go away forever! of just stop abusing the kids…..
August 25th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Wow. I don’t even know what to say — except best of luck and I will be thinking of you guys.
Just wow.
August 25th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Aw Im sorry Mr M and DW. But like some of the above have mentioned, it may all be a blessing in disguise and eventually turn things around for you. I really hope this works in your favour for a change. Good luck!
August 25th, 2009 at 8:44 am
Any news on whether she sent the letter to CSE and filed for the “emergency” hearing? According to her, she was going to do that first thing yesterday (yeah, right.)
August 25th, 2009 at 9:30 am
oh sarah please! you’re too quick to throw a dagger. i think you misread/misinterpreted. I’m absolutely not siding with PEW. entirely the opposite. Mister-M understood in his reply to the comment. that i wouldn’t put it past her to not think of the ramifications of sitting the children down and saying “Children! Look what your daddy has done!! and it’s all lies! Poor me!!! Now love me more and love your daddy less because he hurt your Mommy!” Hopefully she doesn’t put the children in that position because that would be detrimental to them. i know from experience what being a kid with “too much” information about the people you love can do to you.
August 25th, 2009 at 9:33 am
On a side note, i AM surprised she’s not all over this site already commenting on everything with HER “version”!!!
Good luck Mister-M and DW with anything that ensues. I hope she weighs this in her mind and decides not to do anything (maybe you’re saying yeah right, but one can hope!!). Rooting for you.
August 25th, 2009 at 10:42 am
That brings up a good question — MrM/DW, if she wished to comment and participate in forums, would you support that and provide her a forum account etc, or would you delete her comments? I could see arguments both ways, though ultimately it seems the higher road to let her say her piece, and simply never reply directly to her comments (as that’s obviously a violation of your low-contact approach). That way, it’s clear that you’re doing your best to provide an unbiased view of the situation — and would also provide everybody an opportunity to have a little more direct insight into all the issues you discuss. It would, in fact, make your own posts more meaningful as it’d reduce the possibility of bias that come commenters seem to insist is present.
For that matter, I can see her starting her own blog. Would you link to it? I assume that you wouldn’t respond to individual posts for the same low-contact reason, but I can also see the worth of providing a single prominent link to make it clear you’re willing to let her tell her side.
August 25th, 2009 at 10:48 am
PEW can’t comment on this blog…we have the spam protection and I’m pretty sure she won’t be able to figure out the sum of 1 + 5. LOL
Anyway, as I recall, PEW did start a blog briefly. I think it had one or two entries calling DW “ugly” (I see a pattern here) and then she lost interest. As so many PEWs do.
August 25th, 2009 at 10:50 am
ok going to be a hypocrite and throw my own dagger….is sci pew?
August 25th, 2009 at 11:26 am
No. But thank you for playing.
Okay, everybody can stop asking if everybody else is PEW now. ‘kay?
(Yes, I realize you were joking Come Again)
August 25th, 2009 at 11:44 am
SCI has some excellent questions!
Unfortunately, SCI - this site wasn’t, isn’t, and never will be about PEW or her family. They have any number of outlets whereby they can tell “their side” of the story.
I don’t owe anyone an “unbiased view” of the situation. Readers come here knowing that they only have one side of the story and they can choose to believe my version or not.
This site is chock-full of stories where she and I discuss our particular sides of any number of issues (assuming I’m telling the truth)… have you seen a SINGLE ONE that worked?
I’m not stopping anyone from telling their own side of anything. I don’t have to provide them an outlet to do so.
As for actual comments on this website, we’ll see how I choose to handle it if presented with a situation where I have to do something.
August 25th, 2009 at 11:46 am
I assume a lot of thought went into the creation of this blog, that you took the steps necessary to ensure anonomous names, locations, etc. I can’t pinpoint who you are or where you live. So, for that matter, this whole blog could be considered “fictional” in the eyes of the court. And, according to the first ammendment, and I think it is somewhat preserved still, a person can write about anything at anytime as long as it is not libel. For her to construe this to be her and you and your situation, there is truth to what you say and gives you credence for everything contained herein. I trust you have saved the emails, txt messages, etc. to rebuttal, refute or reaffirm her actions. This could quite possibly be the best thing to happen to you. And, with the “no-bashing clause”, I’m sure its like mine where you simply cannot do it to the children. Good luck!
August 25th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Good points, MrM. I can’t see anybody faulting you for either approach (except PEW, naturally) — as you say, you certainly don’t owe her a forum. If it were my blog, I’d also lean towards doing whatever was necessary to keep it a haven for constructive support of those facing these issues. Which quite likely could mean policing non-constructive comments. Unfortunately, that itself might turn out to be its own little mini-nightmare; I hope it doesn’t come to that, for your sake. Anyhow, just curious, so thanks for sharing your position.
August 25th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I just went on to cnn.com and they airing a “live now” pod cast entitled “should blogger be allowed to remain anonymous?” How timely.
August 25th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Please do not publish PEW’s comments etc if she decides to post…You did not start the site to present “your side” of anything–as if you were having a legitimate debate with someone. It is not about who is right or wrong. Your site, God bless you every day, is about dealing with a BPD ex and helping others in the same boat. I don’t want to hear PEW’s comments or “side.” I do not want to watch you simply continuing the crazy, useless roundabout with her–but now in public and in print. Nothing will be forwarded or gained by that. I don’t want to be overly-dramatic, but if you had started a site to deal with, and help others deal with, the effects of rape or murder, would it be appropriate to let the rapist or murderer “have their say” or “tell their side” on line? I know that is extreme, but I think you get my drift. Those of us who understand and share your experience don’t need to hear from PEW, we just need to keep up the process of dealing with all of it. Those who doubt your/our experience don’t really need or benefit from the site, they are just visiters or voyeurs.
August 25th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Dying to know what PEW was searching for in order to lead her to the site. I see no point in allowing her a forum - with our PEW, our views are so divergent and will never meet. Therefore, no point. Same with yours. I have occasionally wondered whether our PEW would question herself if confronted with a litany of her psycho-ness such as this site provides. I think I have my answer. The crazy would just continue unabated.
August 25th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I too would LOVE to know what she was searching for to stumble onto this site. Perhaps it was curiosity…hum… I wonder what google will reveal when I type in my name??? how about my true identity…psycho ex wife.
I vicariously got your adrenaline rush reading this post. Your PEW and my husband’s PEW act and sound so very much alike - scary, so very scary. You could only hope that would be the last email….but of course you know that this is only the beginning of an all out onslaught of crap.
Keep your spirits up ( and happy anniversary - I loved that post and hope that PEW got a chance to read that one!)
August 25th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
I swear, we could have the same PEW. I would think that the court couldn’t do a damn thing about your blog, seeing as its totally anonymous, with no names used?
My fiances PEW uses the same phrases, “granted you custody” or “let you have them on your weekends”. I’ll never forget the time that she found out we were pregnant and threatened to “yank your visitation so fast!” Number one, it’s called 50/50 custody, not visitation. Two, on what grounds?! Our PEW gave my 9 yearold SD a cell phone, and I have heard PEW asking, “What is Heidi doing? Is she fighting with Daddy? Do they look happy? What is she wearing?” and basically PUMPING my stepdaughter for info, because she cannot stand it that we’re happy, and who the heck cares what I’m wearing?!
August 25th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Ah bambi, if that is what I am thinking that it is, it is about the model right?
The difference there is that the model was named in the person’s blog and the blogger made some pretty nasty comments. The model went to court to have google reveal the bloggers information.
PEW is never named. We have no idea who she is or where she lives. There is no harm to her character or reputation.
August 25th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
IF she were ever find the blog I am pretty sure the members would chew her up and spit her out!
August 25th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
So, if she insists it’s not her you’re talking about, then why does she think it’s her you’re talking about?
August 25th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
I have one question for everyone… do crazy people know they are crazy???
I often ask myself that question. Our PEW is very much like Mister-M’s PEW as the self justification and finger pointing to everyone but herself is just ENDLESS. I am so glad I found this site, but at the same time feel a great deal of discouragement that many of us will never get to see any improvement in our lifetime. As TheMostMom most aptly stated “I hope we don’t have to become martyrs for future generations. I hope a change can take place now.” I feel there is a great (and unfortunate) truth to this. But still, as I continue to tell my husband (and keep trying to find strength to tell myself), we must all continue to FIGHT THE INJUSTICE of the (supposed) “Justice system”. Mister-M, you are my role model, you truly are. I wish only the best for you and your incredibly strong wife. I wish I only had half the strength she does. While I only get to hear one side, I truly feel you are both very good people and the world (and your children especially) are better because of you both. Keep on with the fight and I wish you ALL THE BEST!!!
August 25th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Awww Justice, you are very sweet. I’m not perfect, and it’s quite trying some days, very, very trying. But I am lucky in that I had an excellent divorce and know that I’m not the one causing the problems. I’d love to have LM have an ex-wife that I could talk to and even hang out with, like he does with my ex-husband. My ex will be spending this weekend with us because we have an event with friends. Yes, staying in the same house, it’s amazing that we can’t even be in the same room with PEW because she just can’t stop being crazy.
It has just never made sense to me, she wanted the divorce, why hasn’t she moved on? How does she ever expect to get a man when all she wants to do is engage with her ex? What man in his right mind would date someone that is constantly on the computer, or phone, stalking, emailing, calling or texting the ex-husband they supposedly left because he was abusive? I want to tell her to get real, get a life, and please, please, get help. I don’t want to see her miserable for the rest of her life, she deserves happiness, but it’s going to take work, and apparently, it’s easier to just blame everyone else, errr, I mean, us, for what a shitty life she has.
Ah well, I’m happy, LM is happy, and I can only control my own happiness.
August 25th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
DW, I swear you are in my head. I ask the EXACT same questions as you second paragraph above! And I too get along with my ex-husband. Granted we have our disagreements, but we totally let them go and NEVER argue in front of our son. 4 years ago our divorce lasted all of 5 minutes tops in front of the judge. We have NEVER been back to court since. His new wife is a bit disconserning at times, but I just ignore her (her own insecurities I guess). Our son is very happy, healthy, and very loved by ALL family members and I would never have it any other way. My son is free to feel as he wishes about his father and stepmother. NEVER in my life could I imagine trying to alienate him from his father or stepmother. So in essence, my husband’s PEW has boosted… wait… sky-rocketed my self-esteem in that regard to knowing I would never do such aweful things. I just wish I could deal with my husband’s situation better. But unfortunately, I feel we are at the end of the road as I have hit rock bottom trying to cope with this. I did not sign up for this, had NO IDEA I was in for this as I have never in my life encountered someone so nasty and vindictive. I have had the courtesy recently of being in the same room with her… when she depositioned ME and was granted copies of my financial records. Can you believe that!!! And my husband has not even seen his children in almost 3 years now because of her. He was simply trying to get visitation every other Sunday, away from the house, for a couple hours. But this turned into WW3… $10K later… he sadly withdrew. Now he is paying HER legal fees, while is unable to even afford a laywer of his own. Total BS!!! I envy your strength DW, I would give anything to get my soul back…
August 25th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Justice, I’m so sorry you had to go through that and you guys feel you are at the end. It’s ridiculous that as stepmothers we are forced to be financially responsible, with zero rights, of course it puts us in perfect position to understand what fathers are through. It’s amazing how many stepmothers we hear from that are looking for support because of these reasons.
You definitely need to take care of yourself and step back if things become too much. I do it all the time, and we discuss it on the forums a lot if you haven’t been over there yet. LM knows when I don’t want to hear what is going on, I go for walks, drives or to the beach, and occasionally I have to walk out and visit a friend. We take time for ourselves and make plans as if PEW doesn’t exist. You deserve to live a life without thinking of her, but it takes time and practice. Come to the forums if you need help.
August 25th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
DW I need more help than you can imagine right now. I will visit the forums. Thank you for all your kind words. To all the spouses out there dealing with their PEW or their spouses PEW….. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT the system to someday make a difference to make it right! Best of luck to everyone out there living this nightmare…
August 25th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Sadly, there are so many PEWs out there, any number of them could stumble upon this site and “recognize” themselves. Mister-M’s story is tragically common.
Therefore, I suppose that there is some sick sort of anonymity in numbers.
I shudder to think how many PEWs out there have printed out this site and said to their children: “look what your evil father is saying about us now!”
August 25th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
P.S. to Justice: you need a better attorney, a better divorce coach, and better support. Not to shill for Mister-M’s discussion board or anything, but that is certainly a good start if you haven’t already been there.
August 26th, 2009 at 12:37 am
OMG! I am so sorry to read this… But not terribly surprised. PEWs love to think that they are the center of the universe, and now she’s got some sort of sick proof that you still think of her. Dealing with PEWs is like dealing with toddlers, any attention, good or bad, is still attention and feeds their need.
Has she filed the emergency order? Has she yanked the boys yet? You and DW are in our thoughts.
August 26th, 2009 at 12:39 am
I dare say that Mister-M’s Pew does know about the site, and has been to the site, disguised. This site, or any other which speaks of Pew, cannot ever harm the children. What does harm children is the psychotic parent who thinks they have no problems when it is obvious that they do. In other words, whatever Mister-M’s Pew would say to the children regarding this site, would stay in pattern with everything else she says of Mister-M anyway…site or no site. Children are smarter than many give them credit…unless there is some developmental issue at stake. With Mister-M’s sons, this their do not seem to be developmental issues. Therefore, these boys will come to full knowledge someday regarding all that has happened. And, when they do, they will be able to make up their own minds about it all. “God Bless the Child Who’s Got His Own.”
August 26th, 2009 at 12:47 am
For one who may be watching for my errors: (you know who Mister-M)
the words “this” or “their” were not intended in my sentence regarding no sign of developmental delays…LOL.
That old OCD kicks in…
For Justice: I believe people can know when they have problems. People can have insight even when they are “crazy” so to speak. However, people with borderline personalities do not have insight, and therefore, this particular brand of “crazy” is one in which they do not know they are crazy…LOL. I’m sure you were simply asking a rhetorical question…just sharing, as I do sometimes…
August 26th, 2009 at 7:01 am
Oy. This is the reason I went password protected. It was more than enough drama without our PEW (we call her The Egg Donor) having any access to my words whatsoever. While they are true (as I know yours are), and while I’m certain they would do nothing but solidify our case in court, I know without question she would drag the kids into it and show them every little thing she could sink her evil claws into. Just couldn’t stomach the thought.
I’m so sorry Mister M and DW. My hope for you is that PEW just goes over the top nutso with this information, files with the Court everything she said she would, gets a child psychologist heavily involved who will see her idiocy, and this is finally the straw your judge needs to SEE, eyes wide open, what PEW actually is.
Sometimes it’s the ugliest of uglies that tips the scales. Hang in there, both of you.
August 26th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Wow.
You have nothing to fear. They determine child support based on real numbers or imputed numbers. It sounds like that part can’t get any worse for you. As for her deplorable behavior, it is she who should be afraid.
If it comes down to it, you don’t even need a lawyer to prove she is an incompetent, unfit parent with her emails to you and the whole timeline written out on paper. Frankly, I think it makes you look like a saint.
I only hope that you don’t stop this site because of her lurking here. It has so much great information.
Kate
August 26th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
A long winded thought here… I know that PEW has threatened, “I am taking the entire contents of your http://www.thepsychoexwife.com website to court with me…I’m asking for an emergency hearing…” In our county, if she requested an emergency hearing based on the grounds of ‘he’s talking bad about me and not being nice’ and NOT on the grounds of abuse/neglect/abandonment of the children, the court would deny the emergency and make her file the old fashioned way thus giving you plenty of warning of any BS she may pull. Nothing she has against you, has any bearing on the safety and well-being of the children. Secondly, I am sure she will EVENTUALLY attempt to pull the Psycho Ex-wife blog in to a custody trial… because we all know PEW’s can’t leave well enough alone and are often their own worst enemy. She will hang herself and provide to rope to do it with but you need to let HER file for custody first… she will have to prove everything she throws at you in the court and all you will have to do is defend yourself from her accusations. The minute she introduces the psycho ex-wife the court, all your defense will be made for you.
I think the biggest obsticle you will face is paying for the lawyer to defend you… Don’t try to handle this one without a lawyer… You could counter-sue her for legal fees… although I am not sure the court would go for it or not…
…What I believe the best alternative to do in this situation is something that I don’t believe you would ever ask… so I will for you…IF EVERY ONE OF US, THE FANS AND SUPPORTERS OF THE PSYCHO EX-WIFE COULD DONATE, EVEN $5 TO THE “DEFEND MR. M AND DW FUND FROM PEW FUND,” IT WOULD EASILY COVER ALL YOUR LEGAL EXPENSES. This fight isn’t just yours, it’s ours too. Your victory will be our victory… and if you don’t use all that is donated for your defense… donate the rest of it to a charity of your choice… perhaps a “Stop Parental Alienation” group.
What do you think? Please put up a link… (or to anyone that knows Mr. M and DW personally… have administration put a link up on this sight directed to your site, so you may handle the funds and they won’t have to deal with this while dealing with all the other BS that is coming down the pike.) If I knew who you were, I would do this for you. Please consider it.
KML
August 26th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I second Karen’s motion.
August 27th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
OMG….Is there a lab that is producing PEWS?? I am newly married to a wonderful man who has Mr. M and DW twin sister. My husband left her 2 1/2 years ago and she has not let up. It’s the same story in regards to blaming everyone else …”What about me syndrome” ..When you are a mother or father it should be about the kids. Thanks for your sharing your story, I don’t feel so alone. Our PEW embezzled 15,000.00 from a company she had been with for over 17 years ….didn’t need the money..She was inputting false hours into the payroll system while she would stay at home and cyber stalk, stalk him physically ect….plus she receives 3200.00 a month in support. She received a felony charge, payed double restitution with her retirement, now she works at a fast food joint and it’s his entire fault ..Whatever!! Our PEW also tried to commit suicide …locked herself in the car in the garage and we called the police to save her…Yeah we did. We have even called the state mental health system and they went to evaluate her and of course the master manipulator she is talked her way out of it. I don’t understand how a mother can be so psycho and be allowed to have the kids. All we can do is love the kids when we are able to see them …whenever that will be next because now she knows we are married and she is stating that the kids won’t be allowed to be around me, so it’s back to court and that blows. I have spent a lot of time with them and their Dad without her knowing and now we have to go to court to force her to follow the plan. I had to call the police last week when my husband dropped his kid off and the PEW got in his car, took his phone and hit him. WOW….what a freak ..We call her Shark Man from SNL…LOL… We have to keep the humor going otherwise I would just cry…Thank you again DW and M
August 28th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Sooo, she’s going to take copies of this into court and ‘prove’ it’s you talking about her how? by saying…’I know he’s talking about me because…that’s exactly how that instance happened’. Hmmm, I think not…because then she’d show just how cuckoo she really is.
I am so incredibly thankful that ours has settled down since we were given orders. She still has moments, but they are few and far between. That we know of, that is. I know she still says stuff by the things bonus girlie says(’We get to go to California ’cause you have all the money’ ~snort~ on our ‘family vacation’-whatever!), but we pretty much ignore the comments altogether. No need for bonus girlie to get caught in the middle of anything, even if the psycho ex starts it.
Good luck, Mister M…this will be like all other ‘threats’, full of hot air simply because it will expose her own behaviours far too much for her own comfort.
August 28th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Mister M and DW thank you for this site. This is from the latest email received from our PEW:
Let me be very clear on something. Until (child) stops returning from her visits to your home looking and acting like she has been abused in some way, you will be unable to convince me that she needs time with you – ESPECIALLY outside of what is extended to you in the parenting plan. And feel free to pretend all you want that you have no idea what I am talking about. At home - with me, with the nannies, with X, with Y, with Z, with A and B, with C, with D and E, with F, with EVERYONE in our sphere, she is happy, bubbly, talkative, communicative, and responsive. Each and every person named above has been witness to – and are extremely concerned with – her behavior on EACH return from your house. Even if none of this long list of people were to have brought these concerns to me, it wouldn’t matter. I am her mother, and the feeling in my gut on this one couldn’t be stronger. I know it in my gut. She has said things to all of us that have elicited concern as well. And every single one of them have not only agreed to testify, but have offered to do so out of concern for (child). And knowing full well that children her age can and do say things that can be misunderstood, I am leaving this one to the experts to decide.
This was her response to a request to keep her for an extra day over labor day weekend to allow us time to take (child) to visit her grandparents.
I am so frustrated. These are scary accusations, used to intimidate by the “queen” BPD, but how does one deal with this? Ignore it? Defend it? Is it a lesser of two evils situation?
By the way, this is the second accusation of abuse, the first being that we were sexually molesting the child. The child’s pediatrician had to confirm for PEW that child had diaper rash.
Advice?
August 30th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
@Loulou:
Wow, your PEW backed off of a phony molestation allegation just on the word of the pediatrician? She’s an amateur. Most PEWs would then claim that your DH had “bought the pediatrician off”, then continued to spew her allegations to anyone who would listen.
I also love the “I am her mother so my gut feelings count for something”. Right.
Yours is an “ignore” situation for the time being. Just be aware that if the PEW doesn’t get the drama she craves, she WILL escalate it with wilder accusations and more outlandish behavior. You would do well to get the child involved in church, sports, scouts, some activity that can be done during your DH’s parenting time — and make sure this activity includes at least one (two or more are even better) objective third party adult (pastor/leader/coach) who can vouch for any appearance/behavior of the child. The idea is to position yourself to be able to defend against the accusation, which will inevitably come.
August 31st, 2009 at 9:14 am
Great advice, JB. Thanks!
August 31st, 2009 at 9:57 am
Imainge, in the mind of the PEW’s, what it would be like to discover this?
Rage and pleasure all at the same time.
I was dating a man, who SEEMED such a victim of his future PEW. I helped him as she was CLEARLY a drug addict. I implored him to go for full custody of his 1.5 year old.
He just couldn’t go against her, like she had something on him. We broke up over his violence that eventually surfaced.
In two months after our yearlong relationship, he found a woman on MySpace, who was 28 and had a five year old boy, wooed her to move from California to Staten Island NY for him, who I discovered after the breakup to be making videos of himself masturbating with wine coolers up his bum and soliciting mad amounts of homosexual sex (yes I have the video’s as 100000% proof), he eventually became a male prostitute, he was a garbage man and in a heavy metal band, at the age of 36, all this happened after I left him. (I don’t pretend he wasn’t homosexual prior to me)
Even though I showed this girl the videos, as he trolled single mothers on MySpace and men on Craigslist, she still moved her whole life across the country for this piece of crap psychopath.
IT was THEN that, since he had this ready made mommy for his daughter (that he knew ONLINE for two months), that he told CPS about his wife’s drug use and took her to court for full custody.
When I discoverd an email he sent soliciting group sex, male and female, and included a picture of this now 3 year old daughter, clothed, but you never know, since I didn’t know he was gay or bisexual, I told the wife and grandma.
Well she told CPS about his rancid behavior, and they both lost parental rights to this child after investigating. It’s now 2.5 years later, and their time is up for either to present themselves to be a suitable parent and neither has.
They are both on drugs and financially and emotionally crippled.
The child is now with the mother’s brother and wife, who are a nice family, and grandma helps out a lot.
I stay in touch with her.
So much of your PEW is the exact behavior of his PEW, and it’s amazing how it looks like they take a class or read a book on how to be vile, and forget they have a child.
I can only think I let this vile degenerate in my good life because I was supposed to save his daughter from them both, but it cost me about $40,000 and the shock of my discoveries.
I’m okay now.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:55 am
[...] Work”, or learn how to win child custody with a custody coach. Thanks for visiting!Since the discovery of ThePsychoExWife.com, we’ve watched PEW go through a couple of [...]
September 1st, 2009 at 4:56 pm
I third Karen’s motion.
September 2nd, 2009 at 1:19 pm
OK, what scares me here is her motivation. What good does it do her to cancel your CS obligation? I’m trying to figure out what she has to gain. Could it be that she’s had a financial turn of events and is trying to mask it by getting the courts out of your financial business? Everytime PEW brings you to court and they ask your finances be laid out on the table and therefore so are hers. Maybe she has something to hide that she hopes ending child support will keep covered up. She seems to have a history doing only what most benefits her. I’m leary of her angle on this one. Good Luck!
September 2nd, 2009 at 1:58 pm
The motivation is to say that she “offered” and then create some reason why she chose, instead, not to that is my fault.
You’ve seen it throughout site. One would think that the motivation would be to make sure that the money is available to the household in which the children reside 50% of the time (the one that is struggling right now…) but once she realizes that it doesn’t directly benefit her (only the children) - she’ll have cause not to do it.
Same story, different day.
September 4th, 2009 at 3:57 am
[...] coach. Thanks for visiting!Among the great many other things that occurred in the aftermath of PEW’s discovery of this site, comes another completely delusional text message - this one, from Aunt Drunkenslob (Psycho-SIL) [...]
September 14th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Er, Mister-M, that’s not what I would call a low-contact response. The PEW is not the only one showing what’s wrong with her here…….
September 14th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Ummm… no kidding PPPV.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:33 am
In the course of searching for effective remedies to counter the blizzard of distortions, lies, and outright bullshit my PEW spouts on a fairly regular basis, I found your site. Your account is funny, saddening, and most of all, EXACTLY what happens when one has a PEW like you and I seem to share.
As an amateur writer and semi-avid blogger, you’ve given me the inspiration to set up my own blog about the experience I and my wife have suffered at the hands of my PEW. Of course, everything will be anonymous, but it should make for quite the fun project to share with everyone.
Good luck with your PEW. In the end, she’ll learn the hard way.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:38 am
My only problem is that she may learn the hard way, but she’ll take EVERYBODY, including the children, down with her. And after all is said and done, she’ll still be blaming others for her predicament. It’s very disturbing.
September 30th, 2009 at 2:03 am
I have only just stumbled across this website but I think it is brilliant! We have a PEW and our child is 13. If it gives you any comfort our PEW finally messed up to the point where she lost custody! There is hope! DW, you should be so proud of yourself for being such a positive role model to children who so desperately need that from a woman in their lives. It is so easy to tell a child what he/she should do, but when we show them, they have a much better understanding of what we mean. I keep a journal of what we do with our daughter. I call her that because that is what she is to me, even though her mother continues to discourage any healthy, positive relationship we build. She has done so from the very beginning (7 years ago!) Funny how I was a home wrecker when she was already divorced for 6 years and had two other children with her at-the-time boyfriend. I think ours has antisocial personality disorder or is quite possibly a sociopath by definition, but those are both hard to prove… Some of the conversations I read between LM and PEW brought back very traumatic memories! Like the driving by our house! ((shiver..)) And she calls your behavior creepy! LOL. Thanks for an outlet for some of these emotions! Even though we have custody, there is still the constant attempt to manipulate and just cause disruption. Today she spoke with D and I could hear PEW saying that someone had gotten a PFA against her! Are you kidding me? I’m so glad D is not there to get stuck in the middle of yet another violent cycle of relationships…
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:01 am
OMG!
I stumbled on this site from the bpdfamily site, and I’m almost - but not quite - speechless.
I was married to a rich rich BPD guy and filed for divorce in June. No kids. I have a prenup. And still…. I am convinced the divorce will never ever be finalized.
Why? Because he’s crazy. His family’s crazy, and they have the money.
At any rate, I started my own site, and they have ‘discovered’ it.
First thing, they did was hire a bunch of cyber surveillance companies. I don’t have proof, but I am pretty darn sure.
My stbx believes I ’slandered’ him. At first, I refrained from letting him know that the word he really wanted was ‘libel.’ Finally - somewhere on that site, maybe in the password protected part - I do correct him.
Anyway, can I link to this site?
It’s awesome, and I’ve passed it on to another bpd poster.
Good luck…
M
March 10th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
I am the girlfriend of a man with a PEW… God help us the divorce has lasted almost two years now! She keeps delaying it. I am going crazy… there are two kids 13 and 15 and both of them are being very mature about the whole thing! She tried everything called my bf a drunk a child abuser the whole nine yards… of course she’s the one who gets kicked out of the house, funny how that works huh… I need pointers on how to deal!
June 15th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
How did I miss this post? Thanks for commenting today and bringing me to this post.
First, here’s a link for bloggers’ rights regarding defamation/libel, if it’s useful:
http://www.eff.org/issues/bloggers/legal/liability/defamation
The PEW in our situation used blog entries of mine against me and my boyfriend with the parent evaluator, who was a heavily-biased, unprofessional mess eager to lap up the PEW’s lies that she was afraid of me, that I am a threat to the kids, yada yada. The PEW dramatically requested that I not be permitted to be around the kids. I wrote a letter to the judge revealing the entire blog entry, not just the hand-picked snippet she and her morally-bankrupt lawyer chose to present, and the judge essentially decided her claims were horse shit. That was at least 3 years ago, and the PEW still reads my blog on a regular basis, dying for something to use against me, telling the kids I call her a “stalker”. What else would I call someone who spends hours a day, every day, reading the same thing over and over again? (Not to mention the actual following me in real life, yeah, oh that….)
Pretending any blog of any nature is the actual threat to children of PEWs, instead of the mentally unstable, emotionally corrupt, and highly selfish PEWs themselves is a massive insult to children who deserve better protection than what they are typically given.
June 15th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
The Smirking Cat - Yea, your post was great as well. It is amazing how they really believe everything in the world is about them. Our PEW also thinks this entire website is about her, we “are obsessed” with her. Yet we aren’t the ones that spend 60-80 hours a month following her around.
Pulling snippets out is hilarious too, PEW does it often with things I write on the boards. The best was one where she pulled something out that I again hate her children *rollseyes*, tells the kids about it, but doesn’t mention the fact that I had mentioned what we were doing that weekend which prompted her to go out and make a huge purchase so she could do the same thing with them, lmfao. Yes, I’m horrible, but she’ll use what I write to make her look like a great mother by stealing my ideas for activities with the kids.
July 28th, 2010 at 8:14 am
[...] August 20th, 2009, the confusing escalation began in earnest with the story detailed in The Inevitable Discovery of ThePsychoExWife. In her email to me, she says, “I will be paying for the braces [...]