Article: The Controllers, Abusers, Manipulators, and Users in Relationships
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A very enlightening article by Dr. Joseph M. Carver, PhD. Please visit this site and read it.
Personality Disorders: The Controllers, Abusers, Manipulators, and Users in Relationships
An excerpt:
Chances are, you’re dealing with an individual with a personality disorder somewhere in your life — whether it’s your spouse, your parent, your co-worker…even your child. Dr Carver’s introduction to personality disorders in relationships puts the reality in plain English; more than just a list of diagnostic criteria, this explanation describes what it’s really like to be dealing with a personality disorder and offers tips for victims.
Dr. Carver has also written about “Identifying Losers in Relationships” and the problem of remaining in an abusive or dysfunctional relationship in an article entitled “Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser.”
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Typically, these people are of the “Cluster B” personality disorder types (there are A, B, and C). Some definitions of each of those Cluster B types:
Antisocial Personality: A pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others and rules of society. The Antisocial Personality ranges from individuals who are chronically irresponsible, unsupportive, con artists to those who have total disregard for the rights of others and commit criminal acts with no remorse, including those involving the death of victims. In clinical practice, the Antisocial Personality has near-total selfishness and typically has a pattern of legal problems, lying and deception, physical assault and intimidation, no regard for the safety of others, unwillingness to meet normal standards for work/support/parenting, and no remorse.
Borderline Personality: A pervasive pattern of intense yet unstable relationships, mood, and self-perception. Impulse control is severely impaired. Common characteristics include panic fears of abandonment, unstable social relationships, unstable self-image, impulsive/self-damaging acts such as promiscuity/substance abuse/alcohol use, recurrent suicide thoughts/attempts, self-injury and self-mutilation, chronic feelings of emptiness, inappropriate yet intense anger, and fleeting paranoia.
Histrionic Personality: A pervasive pattern of excessive emotional display and attention-seeking. Individuals with this personality are excessively dramatic and are often viewed by the public as the “Queen of drama” type of individual. They are often sexually seductive and highly manipulative in relationships.
Narcissistic Personality: A pervasive preoccupation with admiration, entitlement, and egotism. Individuals with this personality exaggerate their accomplishments/talents, have a sense of entitlement, lack empathy or concern for others, are preoccupied with envy and jealousy, and have an arrogant attitude. Their sense of entitlement and inflated self-esteem are unrelated to real talent or accomplishments. They feel entitled to special attention, privileges, and consideration in social settings. This sense of entitlement also produces a feeling that they are entitled to punish those who do not provide their required respect, admiration, or attention.
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Thanks to “dragonmctt” for bringing this article to our attention.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Great article. Very easy to understand and hits all the important points. That site has a few other great articles.
My daughter is almost 13 and I just read “Understanding the Borderline Mother” (which you’ve got over in your Suggested Reading section). Great, great book if you’re the healthy parent trying to help a child deal with a BPD parent.
Knowledge is power — thanks for the power.
MR
March 21st, 2009 at 6:25 am
Thank you for the post; I’m finally able to categorize BM - as I’ve always said “She’s not psycho… She just likes to play the game”.
BM is without a doubt an Antisocial Personality, to the extreme. And she has a touch of Narcissism in there as well.
April 1st, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Yes, it’s a great article, but I don’t really buy the detachment part. I think you have to be like Slim in “enough” to get these worthless losers out of your life forever.
April 1st, 2009 at 11:35 pm
My x goes out of her way to try to hurt me. She would go to other parents in peer groups and say oh he said bad things about your kids. SHe tells people I pay for nothing, I pay for private school pretax 100k per year. She told peopleI abused and she has everyone convonced she is the best mom in the woprld and my kids cant wait to get away from here she does nothing with them and she nags and screams although the kids are not allowed to say to her or use th eword “scream” heLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:08 am
From what I have read and seen so far on this site, I must say that I am very happy to have found it. It appears that maybe there is some hope? I wont hold my breath too long, time is short for me and my children. We have barely survived 3 years of judicial child abuse and corruption in the Las Vegas family court system and are hanging on by a thread at best! If you were to put all of the discusting and imoral abuse of men and children contained on this site, together in one diviorce case it would be mine! Then add a mountain of corruption, set up’;s, fraud, conspieriouce, coverup’s, abuse of law,fact and morality on top! Going through a diviorce is bad enough, but when your abusive socipathic x knows sombody at family court who hate you and has been around F.C.for over 40 year’s you dont stand a chance! I have fought long and hard! I’ts a miracle that have made it this far! I will never give up,” I can’t!” I love and miss my boy’s more than ever! This fact has had and will continue to have it’s price… The stakes are higher than ever in this discusting battel to save my boy’s from more abuse! In order to save face , reputation and job, judges have made me their personal target. They have used all and every sickening dirty trick available on me and my children, too many to list..WE NEED HELP NOW, TODAY! WITHOUT HELP I FEAR THAT THERE NO POSSIBLE HOPE FOR US! I HAVE ALL THE EVIDENCE TO PROVE CHILD ABUSE AND CORRUPTION! THEY KNOW THAT AND HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FINISH ME OFF SOON. NO-MATTER WHAT IT TAKE’S. I have taken a vowe to not allow this to happen again to any child, man or woman! It has cost me and my boy’;s everything! This abuse must be stoped! We were not the first, nor will we be the last! ARE FOUNDING FATHERS AND ALL WHO HAVE DIED TO PROTECT OUR FREEDOM HAVE DIED IN VEIN, IF WE DO NOTHING! I have everything needed to expose and stop this abuse! It can be done! If anybody is truley commited to make a diffrence now is the time! Let’s make history and leave or children with somthing to be proud of, not insecure and scared! ARE CHILDREN’S FUTURE NEED’S US NOW!
THANK YOU.
JAMES, RILEY AND NICK ANTER
(702) 773-3214 CALL ANYTIME
CASE # D363825
FILED 10/5/06
FAMILY COURT
LAS VEGAS. NV
September 1st, 2009 at 5:13 pm
James ,
I’m crying…
I lost custody of my 3 daughters 7,11,12 @ the time…
I never drank,did drugs.My then husband earned $158,00 on the books, & only to find out from my net worth was over $250,000,I never had a clue.It was until then my 4th lawyer ran my #’s to a CPA of some sort…Only to hear from the 4th ,that my husband takes about a million a yr..With this 4th I had already losted custody with an immediate removal….by just a recc of a forensic doc from the court system which within 3 months was removed form the court system for swaying the fathers way & most removals were little girls…
I did file a complaint with the Offices of Prof Discipline & this doc got negligence & incompetence on my case.To no avail with petitions to submit these findings as well as a report from the late Dr.Richard Gardner developer of Parent Alienation & 3 others .There was even a renown child expert Psychiatrist who testified on the girls behalf for free..The doctor said.. if anyone alienated one self it was the father for which I was the sole caregiver for 13 yrs.The father got a woman 81/2 pregnant who had the nerve to come to my divorce.
Long story short, the girls have suffered with having nothing but love for their father & hatred for me. I have had unknown court orders, to say the least countless even enough to confuse my forever Judge on our case who was removed from practicing in any matrimonial cases due to bribes.I just saw my oldest 23 who I haven’t seen since she 18.. A young drunk. My youngest almost 18 whom I have been searching for over a yr ,only to find out she has been institutionalized in a drug,alcohol psy facility since 2008.Ironically the slander & rumors of my ex & his still wife to their new community was,, that the reason why they have custody of the girls is because their mother is a drunk ,drug addict & is institutionalized. James I never drank in my life therefor never been drunk. Only ever at the hospital to give birth. I am proud to say I am still this way. Both my middle & oldest still harbor my ex & his wife & praise them & blames my youngest for her “issues”.My ex won’t release any info/ # to contact my youngest at this facility.So much more.
Thank you
JJ..
divineintervention08@gmail.com