Feedback Forum: A Reader’s Christmas Hate Mail
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For the time being, the number of these types of emails are very few and very far between. In fact, I think I’ve gotten three total hate mails, all of which I have posted. This one was clearly a cry for attention and we debated a good deal as to whether or not we would entertain posting it on the blog as it would just feed the beast. I can easily visualize this writer and his/her friends coming here each day to see if it’s shown up yet so they can brag about how clever they were in “taking Mister-M behind the wood-shed” via an email assault.
Well, I can’t help it. This is just too funny and, in some ways, quite sad - and we couldn’t pass up the opportunity for the writer to share with his/her buddies how the educational system… or his parents… or his friends… or some combination of all of them have failed them so miserably.
Subject: blown away
To whatever your name is,
.. I wont be holding my breath. But if you do read this, whatever your name may be, selling books and doing wackjob shink analysis to people online is somthing you shouldnt mess with.
I found your sight disgusting. I really feel sorry for your kid and your lucky ex wife. I Think we’ll call those type of women LEW’s. She sure as hell is LUCKY EX WIFE…….We all know why shes crazy, who the fuck wouldnt be?
Im sure that you will keep that nicely underwraps thanks to a little thing called being addicted to pretending to be a shrink. You dont care how bad your advice is dude, you just love the whole “rockstar” syndrome that comes along with putting a book you made with some cheap assed costco software, and a jumblefuck web sight.
I can see your beedy eyes squinting over your laptop, feeling all important, while your in protective custody after one of your fans, flips the fuck out all over your retard ass. Dont even pass yourself off as a shrink dude.
Dear Abbey you are far from Son…
Here, this is what “you would say to you”……
You are doing the “mirror effect” your lookin in the mirror, and the “poor me” life your describing, that you LITERALLY BLAME ON your ex is what you have come to embrace. For a while now im guessing….
How do you look in the mirror? Or at your kid with honesty and love? Your doing the opposite a good co-parent should do. When you put the other parent down ASSHOLE you are putting your child down …..YOUR crazy wife is her mommy…..Deal with it ! Do somthing for others for once instead of for your own glorification….. You obviously dont have alot of family, and your ex obviously doesnt have any family support, because if her brother was half the brother mine is, thats if she had one, he would kick your knobby ass from here to TX.
Heres hoping you pull your head out of your ass…..for your childs sake if anything….and i dont think your little “PEW” tags gonna be a new word. I bet you tried to patten it. I bet you
made a little entry in Wikapedia didnt you? yeah, so easy…..Heres one…imagine my hand in the shape of an “L” going up to my forhead. Repeat ever so slowly after me…..L O O S E R . Thats right….Nuf said sugar.
Id be embarassed if you were my dad, then id go CRAZY Karowack on your ass…that little girl doesnt have very good odds dealin with life with a SINGLE parent thats anti co-parenting? Are u kidding me? What an excuse to not get along with the person who was suckered into marrying you.
Your are a very disrespectful iindividual..
Im not even calling you a man…..Disrespectful to mothers, and even fathers who do it out of love.
Parents who are PARENTING arnt constantly seeking a pat on the back for doing the right thing. You want a bunch of money for bashing the mentally ill, and once again i cant stress enough how most anyone would snap with ur garbage if they had to be around you for even a day…Normal healthy PARENTS DONT WANT to be rewarded for doing somthing “heroic” and they sure as hell dont want to be the meek little victim guy. I cant even call you a man, dude…dam
You really stink of bitterness and tit for tat bullshit.gag me.
I dare you to put this on your piece of crap low budget “crap for thought” sight.
By the way it was really disgracing to put Dean Martin on there with your fag song, who was known I might add, to be a bitchin dad and family man !!!!!!!
somthing i pray you will “get” someday…… …Im just kidding, im not waistin my thoughts on you..May your book sales be used to take care of YOUR mental illness when YOUR hospitalized for a couple months. Your gonna need the cash. I bet your LEW wont be talking smack about her father either… Set the example skippy.
That’s the entire message, unedited. I don’t even know where to begin. I would go with the easiest wise-crack retorts, such as ask if s/he used a spell-checker before sending this. I pasted it into MSWord and ran the spell-checker on the email. It broke. The engineers at Microsoft are going to have their hands full trying to figure out how this was even possible.
I want to convince myself that the writer of the above email is a pre-teen. In fact, my reply to the writer was…
Dear [Writer],
You “dare” me? What are you, 12? Maybe if you “double dog dare” me, I’ll do it. Think about it.
Sincerely,
Mister-M
This, unsurprisingly, resulted in a follow-up hate-mail where the writer identified themselves as being 15. The problem is, I’ve seen tripe like this from people who are well into their adult years, replete with all of the same spelling errors, failed punctuation, improper word choice, etc. Our children can write with more eloquence and accuracy than this guy/gal, but then we’ve taught our children how to pick up a dictionary and a thesaurus.
My writing, both personally and professionally, is far from the picture of perfection. This is a disgrace and let this be a lesson to the writer - when you can’t string together a coherent thought in written form, whatever your message may have been will be lost.
Subject: Time to get off the Victim bridge and swim on over to the Accountability shore!
Dear River,
i say that because d’nial aint just a river in Egypt, secondly that reminds me, you might want to break out some step recovery stuff to your lovely fan club. That would at least be refreshingly UNredundant on your part.
I know you dont have the nuts, anyway, Im sure im not the first to be appalled at your rambling, and the fact u have a fan club doesnt surprise me. Unfortunately alot of people will eat any of that crap up to feel ok and just to make sense how they could have “enabeled” that kind of behavior. You see M, YAs Im sure your heart knows, you are just as at fault! Your waisting alot of rehashing crap with a lot of downer emphasis that in no way is benefiting anyone but yourself. Your ego…And your dream of being somekind of selfhelp book dr.Phill in the making. We know thats not your calling. How many years has it been now M/???? 2 frickn many. Wake up! Snap out of it…
I understand that somtimes things dont go the way we want them too. Oh, yeah its called life…you know….IF you have the balls to post my email, make sure to put [deleted personal info], and put my email too [email deleted]… (notice i didnt put any spaces and stuff so it should go thru to anyone whod like to chat. Im off work now and perhaps somthing good can come out of it. Im not going to pine away over all this shit. I could most certainly draw a crowd and help alot more people then your sorry winney crap does…
Get the tools to rehabilitate, and stop blamming your ex like a little girly man baby. Yes, i do think you must have had a sister or two growing up. Your way too tit for tat honey…
I dont mean to come off so rude, but at the same time im glad i did. Sorry , time to stop blamming everyone and ManUp….Time to get off the Victim bridge and swim on over to the Accountability shore.
After all, you are a grown up right? In the mean time have whoever go and make you some tea and cookies while you think of somthing really witty to say. Witty to you that is. Im sure it will take some time on your part. You just take your time and let it all out. Purge that garbage out. I can tell your pretty close to the dry heave stage..Most of us who go thru this crap come out of it a little fucked up, but god willing were better people for it. I just cant help but sense a serious pompus ass. I couldnt help myself, my bad.. And guess what honey, My story is just as said and horrible and devistating as yours, and you dont see me cashing in on it. You my friend, have a mental illness just like your lovely ex. Just a different strain in the brain…
“terrorist” wife? Whatever dude.
by the way, Im not twelve, Im fifteen.
~[Name deleted]
Good grief. So, I offer this writer a few scant seconds of fame via this website. Lord knows, with their mastery of the English language and writing skills that would make a toddler’s doodling look like Hemingway - this is about as good as life is going to get for this one.
Keep in mind that these are the types of people who are throwing their support behind the PEW.
Sincerely,
Pompous Ass
December 21st, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Wow…you have gotten an email from MY HUSBAND’S PEW!!
Sorry!!
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:32 am
No way that was written by a guy.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:28 am
Sounds a bit like your very own special PEW- she finds your website irresistible….
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:59 am
My lord, I actually thought that was written by my stepdaughter. YIKES.
They lost me at L O O S E R. Looser than what?
December 22nd, 2009 at 7:16 am
Oh. My. Gawd.
What on earth ARE they teaching in the schools these days? Obviously not Spelling, Writing, Critical Analysis, or Logic.
These are the people that were supposed to grow up and take over our jobs and pay into our Social Security.
We are so screwed.
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:46 am
I couldn’t even read it as it just didn’t make sense. My 13 year old SD with a learning disability can write better than that! I don’t know what the point was for the writer, but I am glad they got it out of their system. Sheesh.
Of course if this is a 15 year old, this kid may have a decent mother and a father that likes to claim victim, blaming the mother for everything wrong. Those situations do exist, just as LM’s situation exists. It sucks to be the kid in either case.
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:07 am
Seriously where did that person come from? I knew it could not be my PEW because she does not have lower case on her computer, she only has ALL CAPS!
I found it quite refreshing to know that all the time in school for a 15 year has not gone to waste. She/He was quite original in their wording and idea’s.
Merry Christmas
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 am
Wow, well I personally think it could be the PEW’s sister, the alcoholic, drug addicted weirdo who the PEW loves to rope in whenever she can!
This “person” talks about your child and then says its a girl. I dont think theyve even taken the time (or have the ability) to read the whole story and just want to vent their own sad, pathetic life on the internet for the 15 minutes of fame like you said.
As regards “And guess what honey, My story is just as said and horrible and devistating as yours, and you dont see me cashing in on it.” Er, pot calling kettle black. This is not a money raising website, as we all know, but this loser is using it to “cash in” on the attention. Its sad really. I just wish they would spend their time helping themselves out of their sad situation rather than making themselves look like an idiot on a website which is a lifeline for a lot of people out here who felt like they were the only ones in the world with a PEW and must have been going insane!
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:38 am
No 15-year-old would be bitching about Dean Martin, or using the terms “skippy, ” “sugar,” “honey,” “tit for tat,” etc. This sounds like a bitter late-to-middle-aged woman. And does s/he/it (shit?) not realize that your kids are boys, not girls?
Thank you for the laugh; that was perhaps the funniest thing you’ve posted all year! As a former teacher, however, I did find it cringe-inducing. I would grade that an F, but I would be nice and allow a do-over for a chance to bring his/her/its score up to a D-.
Have a very Merry Christmas, Mister-M and DW!
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:16 am
Also…”Karowack”? The hell is that? As in Jack Kerouac? Color me confused.
December 22nd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I think that was from my DH’s PEW and her Boyfriend.
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
And that, my friends, is a PERFECT example of what a fatherless society produces.
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
I agree with Mani, I think someone is baiting you.
The hate mail, by itself, is proof that your site is a success and you are making a difference.
Anyway, Merry Christmas!
December 22nd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Whoa. Insight into the “mind (term used lightly)” of The Genuine Article. Fascinating but sad. I now understand why some people use drugs . . . heavily.
December 22nd, 2009 at 7:50 pm
It has way to much passion for someone NOT involved in the situation.
Funny!
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Well, that took a bit. It’s hard to read through 6th grade spelling and English in the first email and 8th grade spelling and English in the second.
About all I can say is thank God that my SD isn’t one iota like her PEW!! Even though she’s only 9, my SD is more loving, more considerate, and more understanding of how people should treat each other. And now that SD is living with us and starting to shake off the psychotic responses she was having from living with her BM for 2 years, she’s a ton more well-adjusted too!
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:10 pm
CRACK HEAD….seriously, I have dealt with enough of them. Sounds like someone got drunk and wrote a few drunk emails. Like one person said it’s probably PEW’s drunk sister. delete delete delete
Merry Christmas!!!
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:56 am
Are you guilty of murder if your PEW reads this and her head explodes? :p
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:29 am
Rage cloaked in crummy grammar and horrific spelling is amusing at best. It’s a good idea to spell and grammar check your hate mail if you want to be taken seriously.
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Hey there great posts, great site. One thing though:
Your missing one important point and I speak from experience. You are undeniably as insane as your psycho ex. It may appear different but it’s the same cow in a different colored pelt.
Please don’t take offense, I’m in the same boat as you. But a simple fact remains personality disordered people only appear normal to other people with equivalent levels of disability. Frequently bpd’s will find Narcissists or Antisocial disordered partners. You seem to enjoy the notoriety of your site and you appear to be an author, therefore I suspect you have some narcissistic tendencies. If that is the case, the shadows you cast will block the sun from your children’s lives.
The home you came from left you unable to avoid or recognize a thought disordered person, that why you bred with this women. Your problems were not caused by her but by you and the people who made you. This does not negate the difficulties you experience which are real, it simply shifts the blame to where it belongs and that is in your lap.
When you get up in the morning curse the people who made you for conditioning you to accept an abusive reproductive partner. If you do not own what you have done to yourself, and own your childhood experience that compelled you to make such horrendous decisions your children will also grow up thinking that their problems stem other people or un-observable ethers.
Rest assured messed up people only appear appropriate to other messed up people. Some wear their insanity on the outside others on the in. For your kids sake you probably need lots of therapy as well.
tony
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Tony, your POV is quite understandable as I surmise that you probably haven’t read the bulk of the site. I accept full responsibility for the things that have occurred along this rocky path. I’m fully aware of my own issues that lead me to make so very many mistakes along the trail. I’ve obtained therapy to address those issues.
My purpose here is to help others discover and identify those issues within themselves and the partners with whom they struggle in an effort to see that they don’t make these very same mistakes.
And to all those who seem to come at us with this whole issue of reveling in this site’s “notoriety” - it’s completely anonymous. I don’t get paid for doing it. I get no fame from doing it. This “notoriety” that you and others speak of simply doesn’t exist.
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:56 pm
A PEW in the making!
December 24th, 2009 at 8:01 am
“You seem to enjoy the notoriety of your site and you appear to be an author, therefore I suspect you have some narcissistic tendencies.”
Is this to mean all authors, radio hosts, actors, performers, musicians are narcissistic BPDs who revel in their own NOTORIETY? Think before you speak there Buddy. Like LM said, he’s anonymous, unlike the kin I spoke of previously.
December 25th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Mister m well enough. I do truly and greatly appreciate what you have done for us, “non’s” with your non remunerative endeavor. Making other peoples lives less confusing and more productive and being a secret ally to children trapped in the middle is the best, god must love you for it and I’m an atheist.
To the “Most Mom,” you will find the list you presented, (as an example) to be grossly overly weighted by Narcissists. I have known many, many famous people renowned actors, producers, etc., famous artists, double grammy winners, famous authors along with some of the richest people in the world.
There’s are sordid lives, the acclaim they receive is the result of a retarded search for approval they never received in childhood, usually because they had narcissistic parents who cared only for themselves.
It’s no accident. A recurrent theme among those who achieve acclaim is physical or emotional parental abandonment like Obama, B Clinton, even 50 Cent the rap guy worth 400 million$ and on and on. The message they send is, “Am I OK now Dad.” Inside the adult body is a hurt child wondering what they did wrong to deserve the harshest punishment possible, parental abandonment.
Many of the super achievers will upon finally reaching a pinnacle kill themselves like Steve Fossett (sp) John Eastman of eastman Kodak fame. Performers become tragically depressed when the applause fades and the show is over.
You will never hear about my friend Hugh who works tirelessly in Vietnam managing rehabilitation clinics for the Vietnamese who are still having their limbs blown off by left over US munitions. Mother Teressa was a Narcissist Hugh is not. Clever Narcissists always make it seem like their achievement was an accident when in fact they carefully script their lives.
I know it sounds ridiculous but I have researched this topic and I can provide hundreds of examples. Just google famous people with mental disorders, or famous people who have killed themselves and then check their personal histories. They are nearly and clearly, all Narcissists.
Happy holidays to the non community, an oxymoron if there ever was one.
December 26th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Tony, I enjoyed reading your perspective and I agree. I agree that ALL participants are “insane,” on some level Narcissism exists on a broad spectrum, but can become manageable and even overcome as a “disorder.” Looking in the mirror isn’t easy, but it’s the only way we can remove ourselves from the dance of insanity that can even be an addictive force.
The only way I’ve been able to manage, personally, is to repeat the self-talk that PEW is “sick,” not “evil.” It’s still such a struggle at times; but it’s the only way I can resolve my anger and hold out hope for the future. I refuse to give up what joy my life still holds. And I want my step-children to have the best part of their mother, even if it’s a buffered version or facade of who she really is.
December 28th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Tony, I think you’ve managed to redefine “the human condition” as a mental disorder. Every one of us suffers from fundamental irrationalities driven by formative factors beyond our current control. The goal, as I imagine you’ll agree, is to identify and understand the roles those factors play in our abilities and motivations, and use our shortcomings to drive us forward rather than hold us back. Attempting to diagnose others’ mental disorders and then using those to discount the positive works those people have done, whether they be creating music, serving as president, or sharing their experiences in a website designed to help others suffering similar external problems.
Incidentally, George Eastman (not John), founder of Eastman Kodak and a profoundly remarkable inventor and philanthropist, shot himself at the then-advanced age of 77 after suffering two years of intense pain from a degenerative spinal disorder, and leaving a note reading “My work is done. Why wait?”. I can’t imagine a more mentally healthy example of a successful, fully-developed human being — certainly not a “sordid [life], the acclaim they receive is the result of a retarded search for approval”.
December 28th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Sorry, first paragraph up there should have ended “is not productive”.
January 7th, 2010 at 4:18 am
Oh my God! I surely hope this kid doesn’t become a parent; or worse, a leader of some racial profiling clan…
January 7th, 2010 at 4:43 am
NO. I spoke wrongly. It would not be worse for this “15-year old person” to become a leader of a clan, than to become a parent. I believe in the best interest of all, either would be equally as devastating for our society.
Just read “tony’s” remarks. WOW. All I got from that was the message that HE is narcissistic. How dare he define people who are artists, OR presidents as narcissists? Just because someone is creative, bright, educated, or talented…does not mean they are lacking love or affection from a parent who abandoned them. How ‘off the mark’ is that notion? tony simply lumped all these people into one sum of lost causes; which is the total opposite of the life examples some of these people have given to our world. IE: Mother Theresa…what the hell???I’d be interested to know what tony does for a living, and how he came to know all the famous and “narcissistic” people he claims to know…pfft.