The Psycho Ex Wife

Have your own psycho ex? Get a FREE Report on "Why Co-Parenting Doesn't Work", or learn how to win child custody with a custody coach.

The thrilling conclusion continuing from Part I on the childcare situation that was part of the 2007 contempt of court matter…  we continue to trade emails and accomplish absolutely nothing, as we were prone to do in the high-contact days of 2006…

LM,

Please call Neighbor at 1-XXX-GUNSFORKIDS She is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known….or even better maybe you could sit down with her on friday for a little bit and discuss whatever concerns are bothering you……PLEASE

~PEW

Uhhhh, no.

PEW,

I’m not going to continue to do this contentious dance with you.

You can’t stick to any agreement nor order. That much is clear. We had an agreement that is in accordance with the orders, and you have violated that and are immediately being uncooperative in putting things back the way they were.

So, I will contact [attorney] accordingly about your refusal to put S2 back into the agreed-upon childcare facility of YOUR choosing - AUCF, and do what is necessary to make that happen.

~LM

Oh, yes I am gonna continue this dance! I’m a rockhead!

LM,

I am agreeing to look at alternatives. If you want to make it happen quicker then you’ll have to make some phone calls. I did not “choose” AUCF….how was I supposed to know, having never driven there in rush hour traffic that it would take me almost a half hour to get there and a half hour from there to work? I just assumed if it was set up by the district it must be logistically feasible….BUT IT ISN’T…..they even agreed with me when I called the district about how ridiculous it is that there is only ONE location for AM CARES.

Let me know what alternatives you come up with. I am not obligated by the court order to immediately take him back to AUCF. It says “or agreed upon license day care facility”. Find one that we can agree on. I don’t have time to make a million phone calls…..

~PEW

She keeps saying this despite the fact that it was working perfectly fine right up until the time she found a way to shave the overall costs of childcare that was rolled into the child support order by placing S2 with Neighbor. Talk about transparent.  The next one shocks me…

LM,

are you not happy that you got the WHOLE summer…..and every winter break and every extended weekend and that I have to drive….I would think you’d be pretty satisfied at this point….not to mention that if you move back within a year, I have to automatically give you 50% custody. If you want to persue it with [attorney], that’s fine, but I will tell the judge that you didn’t come up with alternatives…..and I did. I also, want to point out to you that my preference was to keep S2 at [other school] for kindergarten, but I discussed it with you and it was at your behest that I sent him to [current school] for kindergarten.

~PEW

Will someone please remind me to link back to this post every time she tells someone that she “gave me” 50/50 custody or that I “got my ass kicked” in terms of what I was fighting for regarding custody. They haven’t ever been nor will those claims ever be true. But as I live and breathe, she believes she graciously “gave me” 50/50 custody even today (and still tells anyone who will listen that if not by her generosity - I wouldn’t have 50/50).

It’s also humorous because, as you’ve read above, in this same e-versation, she claimed that essentially every authority has “ruled” her the better parent and should have them as primary custodian.

LM,

Dad’s email??

~PEW

No shot I give it to her. I didn’t want to get grounded.

PEW,

Well, here’s what the judge will see… that I’m strongly considering the [Alternative] facility but you’re unwilling to confirm whether or not S2 will have transportation to school for YOUR convenience. As she saw when you finally took the stand, you’re an uncooperative liar who only sets things up for your pathological desire to make things as upset as possible. That much, I guarantee you.

Further, when she finds out that your “house sale” ruse was simply a rather expensive ploy to influence her decision in your favor regarding the legal fees, I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if the judge found that your ongoing lack of cooperation and adherence to her orders (again) would warrant a reimbursement of legal fees that I will undoubtedly have to incur in order to obtain your compliance. I’ll bet your whole story about 3 credit cards with $32,000 on them and the $8,000 you allegedly owe your parents are fictional stories, too.

I’ve been in touch with [my attorney], so I’m sure you’ll incur more legal fees when she has to contact [your attorney] and starts the whole chain of BS over again. Excellent decision-making again, PEW. I truly hope you believe this is all worth the aggravation… not to mention the emotional toll lying to the children about having to sell the house and moving will have on them… one in a long, long line of damaging issues that you involve them in with no regard of the long-term impact.

One more time, I strongly urge you to call [Alternative], find out if they have the transportation necessary for your convenience in this matter, and then we can firm up a decision. Otherwise, you leave me no choice but to move ahead legally again.

~LM

Funny how she has all this time to email her missives but no time to confirm transportation to kindergarten for S2.  I’m doing the legwork for her, not for me, just to make sure that the kids are at a place I can trust in and have confidence in terms of the actual costs.

LM,

I gave copies of the bills to the court. Your attorney probably has copies. Selling the house was not a ruse….how the hell do you think I can afford to keep this house and pay all those legal fees….which by the way, I just got another bill for another $6000 from our last two court dates. I am not an uncooperative liar either…..I have always been more than willing to negotiate through different issues with you, but just like everything else….if I don’t do it exactly your way….you freak out.

I suggest you go to the [school district] website, get the phone # and call the transportation people. I don’t have time….I have an extremely busy week with meetings etc….

Don’t be stupid and petition for another court date….just make some phone calls. Do you like to spend your money? And I have news for you…..I will not be using [my attorney] anymore…I can’t afford it at $300/hr. I want you to know 2 things…….I am going to petition to have everything moved to [my county]…….and I am also requesting an investigation regarding the fact that your mother worked at the District Attorney’s office for 12 years……..no one can believe I got this screwed after everything you’ve put me through…..something is SERIOUSLY wrong with this picture.

Make the phone calls…..

also, the house being for sale….is on “hold” till the boys go away in the summer. I didn’t want it to upset the school year anymore…..or ruin the holidays. So, that being said, you can call [realtor] and ask him. Also, I am considering bankrupcy…….stop harrassing me LM and make the arrangements for [Alternative] if that’s what you want……

~PEW

Well, it is kinda hard to keep fact and fiction in line with her stories.

PEW,

What I want is S2 back where we already agreed to have him - AUCF.

The ONLY reason there is an issue is over what is or isn’t “convenient” for you. Therefore, make the necessary arrangements for it to be “convenient” for you instead of being argumentative and combative and difficult as always.

It amazes me that you still believe your own lies… talking about how agreeable and arranging and accommodating you are while never having done a single thing to support your story.

Keep testing the limits of the court, PEW. Though you’ll blame me for everything as you always have… the fact will forever remain that you only bring things upon yourself.

~LM

And test the limits she will…

LM,

you make the arrangements….I’m not being argumentative, I just don’t have time to change everything around right now. My job is extremely high pressure during the school year….I coordinate “school” based therapy for special needs children. I have meetings, monday through friday with therapists, teachers, parents…..make the arrangements for your son if you’re not happy with the arrangements I made. I am NOT going to take him to AUCF, that is not what the court order says. You need to get a life and stop being such a miserable, bitter, “Mom-like” ex-spouse.

~PEW

Oh, burn! She takes a shot at my mother! The court order did say exactly that or “another agreed-upon facility.” Clearly, we’re not agreeing and she needed to put them back where we previously had agreed and she now magically un-agreed in typical PEW fashion.

PEW,

Interesting… but not so busy for you to email me 15 times per day, 10-12 of which aren’t relevant to the issue at hand, and you can’t make the time to make appropriate arrangements for your own children.

So, as with everything else, it looks like we’ll have to get the court to handle it. Excellent choice, PEW. The court order says what it says. The prior court order says that you are not permitted to make such changes without agreement between us. You broke the prior agreement regarding childcare and continue to be in contempt.

What court orders say/have said never has mattered to you. It never will. No regard for your children… no regard for your own financial well-being… no regard for anything or anyone except yourself.

~LM

She followed by emailing me the School District Transportation Office phone number…

PEW,

I already called. The District Transportation Department will only make transportation arrangements within the area that children would go to [their elementary school] If you want to call them and confirm, their number is [phone number]

Other than AUCF, they don’t believe that there is another facility affiliated with [their school]. They told me that [Alternative] is associated with [other school].

I checked for other facilities and found none (other than AUCF) that would qualify. So unless you know of any other alternatives that would provide transportation for your convenience, we’re back to utilizing the facility that we had previously agreed to use - AUCF.

Please let me know when S2 is returning there. Thanks.

~LM

That was about as clear as it was gonna get.

LM,

He’s not going back there….it’s not logistically possible for us. Make arrangements for another facility LM. If it’s in [my town], or on my way to [your town], it will work for us. For the LAST TIME, he’s not going to AUCF!! I’m done on this subject. You make arrangements for somewhere else and I’ll take him. Otherwise, the current situation is working out fine FOR S2.

I think you’re losing it…..I really do. I’m going to call your Dad if you don’t stop.

~PEW

NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo! Not that! Please, don’t tell my daddy on me!

PEW,

I’ve told you what our options were and they are limited by transportation issues - transportation issues that are brought about by it suddenly being inconvenient for you. I will take this response as your continued refusal to comply with the court’s order and act accordingly.

~LM

Back in the days when I used to telegraph my actions instead of just taking action. Don’t do this.

LM,

ok LM, you do what you feel you must do and I will do what I need to do. All I can say to you, is that S1 is already 8 years old…..they’re growing up VERY quickly. Think about that for awhile……I’m asking you to allow S2 to be happy and comfortable for 8 more months. I will not take the blame for taking him from a place where he is VERY happy.

~PEW

Nor will she take the blame for doing something that will allow her to pocket extra cash every month after getting AUCF costs as part of the child support order. Even today she continues to attempt to inflate the costs of aftercare for the kids just to get a few extra dollars in her pocket.

Tired of court at the time, I was still going to move ahead with contempt proceedings and a mis-step by my attorney saw a November 2006 hearing on the issue get canceled. However, PEW would continue to test the patience of the court which is painfully detailed in the series Christmas 2006 - A Prelude to the Present. Her major, pre-meditated custodial interference play during the holidays would give me the reason to re-introduce the childcare issue, culminating in a contempt-of-court hearing where she was found in contempt for both the custodial interference and her failure to abide by the court’s order regarding the childcare arrangements.