The Psycho Ex Wife

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Let’s make a list of all the rules and guidelines that should be set regarding custody and child support in this country, sort of your wish list, based on what would truly be best for the children and equality for BOTH parents. I’ll start:

A woman gets pregnant.  Since she can abort up to 24-weeks with no input from the father, thus ending her responsibility, the father has 24-weeks from whenever he finds out he has a child (or is expecting one) to decide if he really wants to accept the child as his own. (I know this is a shocker for most people, but really, women get to decide everything, this is only fair, and would certainly make women think twice about birth control/sex if they thought they might be 100% responsible for caring for the child.) There could be an addendum to the rule that a contract is signed between the parties before sex/conception that indicates both are willing to parent any child created between them between certain dates and neither parent could then abdicate responsibility… i.e. accept responsibility before having sex, acknowledging that sex can ZOMG - lead to a child, DUH!

A woman MUST inform a father before a child is born that he is the father, or she forfeits ANY child support she may be entitled to at any time. If she is incorrect about the father, SORRY, it is now his choice if he wants to support the child, when he finally finds out, he has the 24-weeks to decide.

Shared parenting is mandatory unless it is proven in criminal court that one parent or the other has, or, is at risk of endangering the child, whether that means physically or emotionally. This includes fathers who find out years later that they have a child.  Yep, sorry Mom, he is back in your life and not just to give you money!

Child support is based on actual expenses for the child, possibly going by the consumer price index that currently spells out acceptable expenses for bankruptcy filings, or some other reasonable index that accounts for costs and not spending habits (as it currently does). Each parent puts their portion into a monthly fund and the reasonable expenses are paid for from there. In 50/50 shared parenting, there would be no child support since each parent would have the child half of the time and would be responsible for half of the expenses. If a parent has been deemed unfit or decided not to participate in the child’s life for personal or professional reasons such as living too far away, the child support would go into the fund, and the parent receiving the child support would be responsible for providing a running account of expenses paid for the child and/or provide legitimate receipts that would initiate disposition of funds from the child support fund.  At the date of emancipation, any unused funds shall be returned to the payer of child support.

Mandatory DNA testing at birth for everyone.  If the father is unknown at the time of birth, mandatory DNA testing will take place for anyone filing for child support against a purported father before any judgment is made.

States do not receive funding based on how much child support they collect, they receive funding based on how many children have both parents in their life a minimum of 40% of the time.

Punishments for custodial interference shall be equal to those of not paying child support, including loss of license, certifications, seizing of bank accounts and tax returns, up to and including jail time and will pursued with the same speed, viciousness, and vigor as currently for those who fail to pay child support.

False abuse allegations in custody cases are met with mandatory jail time of not less than the minimum time the falsely accused faced if convicted.

Parental alienation, if proven to be deliberate, consistent, and ongoing shall result in an immediate and complete loss of physical custody to the targeted parent.  The offending parent will be granted supervised visitation for a period of not less than a year and can apply to have some physical custody reinstated if they can show that they have completed (successfully) courses on parental alienation and parenting with exemplary grades.

That’s a healthy start… now it’s time for you to add yours to the list…

In the event anyone wanted to know, driving with a suspended license is not a crime unless you’re pulled over for another traffic violation.  I recently spoke of Psycho-SIL’s brushes with the law back in Psycho Police Blotter.

Needless to say, I was annoyed (but didn’t let it show) when Aunty DUI was behind the wheel of her car with PEW in the passenger seat during the exchange yesterday.  So, after we got home and I got the kids settled, I walked out into the woods and called the police.  The local police station is about a 60-second walk from PEW’s home.  I explained to the situation and that Aunty DUI is currently driving with a suspended license, I didn’t want her driving my children around, and told them if they sat in front of her house, she would be pulling up any minute for them to do something about it.

As gracious, explanatory, and even humorous (at times) as the officer was, the bottom line is, there is nothing the police can do about someone driving with a suspended license unless they are stopped for another violation.  The “logic” is that in order for the officer to pull Aunt DUI over for just that reason, he would have to prove that he knew who she was, what she looked like, that her license was suspended - in order to have cause to pull her over.

Reluctantly, I admitted that it made perfect sense and that it “sucked ass.” He replied that it was one of “life’s shit-sandwiches that we all sometimes have to take a bite of.”

He was very sympathetic, looked up all of the stuff while I was there on the phone with him, and let me know that her license was ultimately suspended for 2-months, adjudicated this week 2-months ago.  So, adding insult to injury, her license is good as of tomorrow, anyway.

So, for all of those people who wonder why drunk driving is still a problem - it’s because you can have an established pattern of lack of control using alcohol, much in the same way that Aunt DUI has with about a half-dozen citations for public drunkenness and being caught & convicted of driving while obliterated at twice the legal limit… on the SIDEWALK in town… get a slap on the wrist… and then drive with your suspended license as long as you aren’t involved in a traffic stop.

And think about this… the diversionary program in which she’s enrolled will allow her to possibly have her record expunged.  Yep… the benefits of being a menace to society and worse… the boys.  She’ll get away with both flagrantly driving with a suspended license and for DRUNK-DRIVING.  I think I’m going to tell them, really soon, about the dangers of drunk-driving and use Aunt DUI as an example.  Yes, I am.  And I may tell them never to get into a car with her if she’s driving under any circumstances, too.

Bottoms-up!

May the year ahead be better than all which preceded 2008. Best wishes and God Bless.

The Psycho Ex Wife is the true account of a marriage, divorce, and subsequent custody fight between a loving man, his terroristic ex-wife who is strongly suspected of suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (at least from our armchair psychologist diagnosis), and the husband’s new partner.

We are NOT anti-mother or simply pro-father, we believe all children deserve BOTH parents, unless there are serious issues which prevent one parent from providing a stable, loving environment. An environment where the children are encouraged to love and be loved by both parents.

We offer a view few judges will ever see. For attorneys, custody evaluators, guardians ad-litem, and judges, a custody case ends with their decision. They make a ruling and walk away with nary a care as to how clients can, and do, go against the orders they have handed down. They don’t have to deal with the ongoing parental alienation the children hear as soon as the losing parent goes home, the withheld phone calls due to a parents anger, the hundreds of e-mails, voice-mails and direct confrontations, or false abuse allegations, until of course one party files in court yet again. When a judge gets tired of “frequent filers” (a direct quote from our judge) they now have parenting coordinators to whom they hand off annoying clients. We wish we could hand the psycho ex-wife off, but alas, we can’t. We are stuck dealing with her and so you must suffer with us. (Ha! Just kidding, we have fun, too!) Yes, some of it will have a humorous slant, too.

We hope that by sharing our story, we will effect change in the divorce cartel. We don’t sugarcoat issues, although we do try to protect the innocent. You will read actual e-mails, transcripts, false child abuse charges, and custody evaluations, the result of over $80,000 in legal fees (not including the psycho ex wife’s legal bills) and 4-years of litigation.

We now include or will be offering soon: advice columns (from us and soon - from real experts), workshops, book reviews, tales from the real world (this means you), articles with review & analysis, and more! It is our sincere hope that our ideas, suggestions, and insight will be helpful to you, the ones you love, and who love you as you work your way through your own unique situation. We realize that these issues are not gender-specific and hope you’ll understand that our posts will very often be rooted in our own experiences. With that in mind, we hope you will stick around to the end - a lot of the information we offer is helpful to both genders!