The Psycho Ex Wife

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The wheels of the process turn even more slowly than I had anticipated.  I just received notice that the conference to discuss the support modification has been scheduled for the last week in April… nearly 2-months after filing.  As mentioned in the previous installment: Job Loss/Child Support Update: 3/17/2009 - my UEC will be garnished for child support as calculated based upon my employment income.

The financial punches in my face keep coming.

Of course, if she contests the findings at the conference, it will be automatically forwarded for hearing, which will likely take another 2-months.  So, instead of my 6- to 8-week estimate, we’re looking at upwards of 16-weeks to get that potential modification.  Not good.  Not good at all.

So, I called the domestic relations office and asked if there was anything that they could do to expedite the process, giving the lady on the phone a brief overview of the situation.  The response wasn’t surprising at all.  She explain that it was unlikely that the conference could be moved up.  They’re essentially assigned on a first-come first-serve basis and that just happens to be the backlog for support modification conferences.  Still, she suggested that I fax over a signed request with a similarly brief explanation of the situation and to “hope for the best.”  Further, she suggested that, “If you and PEW are on speaking terms and can come to some sort of agreement in the interim, that is an option, too.”

I simply replied, “uhhh, okay.”

After faxing off my request to the domestic relations office, I sent PEW the following email (like an idiot):

PEW,

The conference is scheduled for April 27th, 2009.

I would request the “mutual fax thing” be done in the interim so that I may be able to pay for food and manage my other bills until we get to conference and find out what it will modified down to.

I know the situation creates a hardship for everyone, but doing this will save a lot of headaches at the conference, too.

~LM

I’m certain that this will be met with more of the same tripe, but the situation is critical.  And so came the replies:

LM,

No….if you need money for food, I’ll lend it to you.

~PEW

Soon thereafter…

LM,

You know…if we could have worked out the details of the support without a conference AT all..that would have worked for me, but if you want to go to a conference and waste our time to come up with a situation that is exactly the same as what we could have worked out ourselves.

~PEW

Oh, yes… because negotiating a deal with the psycho ex-wife has ever worked out before.  Oh, and of course she would be amenable to going with what the child support guidelines call for… her paying me child support.

Her answer is quite simple, I don’t care how it negatively impacts the children when with you… as long as I can maximize the negative impact on you… even though in the long run, it will hurt me more. (Only, she doesn’t realize this.)

In any event, I did as was recommended by Domestic Relations and it didn’t work.  Now, it’s just a matter of dealing with the situation as it has unfolded and hope for the best at the end of April.

Does anybody remember the story about the psycho ex-wife’s Safety Concerns and Demanded Actions? It’s the exchange between us which occurred when she found out I was not going with a land-line at the cottage and would rely only on our cellular phones for phone access.  Aside from being on a razor-thin budget, it just wasn’t necessary.  The boys would have access to at least 1 cellphone, most of the time - 2.

PEW felt that this was a dangerous situation that would only be mitigated if I got a land-line on her demand or that one of us supply the children with their own cellphone.

Imagine my surprise when I receive the following text from her…

LM,  FYI I got rid of my land line to save money so only call the cell from now on.

I didn’t reply, no need to.  I wonder if she remembers just how dangerous a situation she believed that to be less than 1 year ago?

During a lengthy discussion about health, fitness, and food with the children on Monday night, both boys were asked to be 100% honest when answering questions as we learned together what we were supposed to be eating and how much.  No one was in trouble.  No one was going to be punishing anyone.  I wasn’t going to be calling mom and “giving her the business.”  We’re going to learn about this stuff together and in this house.

The following question was asked:  When you go to McDonald’s - what do you typically order for your meal?

What S1 told me nearly had me falling out of my chair.

• A DOUBLE QUARTER-POUNDER WITH CHEESE.
• LARGE FRENCH FRIES.
• LARGE COLA

Complicating matters (and I’ve mentioned this before) - The Psycho Ex-Wife allows our 10-year old son to finish whatever S2 doesn’t finish of his meal.  We brought it up on the website.  Just his meal alone is 1,550 calories, most of it from fat.  It’s about the entire caloric intake for an entire day for a boy his age (nevermind the health implications and lack of nutritional value).

I can’t even eat a double quarter-pounder with cheese.

From the Deprivation Series.

I mentioned, briefly, in Part 1 of the Differing Approaches - Educational Issue post, that PEW let on that she had found a project website that DW had been working on.  She discovered a long “abandoned” section where DW had made some negative comments about PEW (of course, without mentioning any specific name).  The comments were in relation to a specific event and simply described how she was acting like a psycho ex-wife again. I say “abandoned” because the last comment DW made on this project site was in October of 2008. The comments to which PEW refers was even before that.

LM,

I read some nasty comments written by DW about me on myspace and elsewhere. I am taking back what I said about the child support and if you moved to [My Township] I would do away with it. I won’t…forget that. I try so hard to be nice to you. I’m going to start my own website and post embarrassing stories about you and DW, how bout that? You do realize that I may look like a psycho to her….but to the people around me, you two look like psychos? So childish….after reading some of the shit she puts out there…I’m not sure I want her anywhere near my kids…I don’t think she’s wrapped too tight herself.. Just because she can…doesn’t mean she should.

Ridiculous….your girlfriend just screwed you right out of your favorite thing….money.

~PEW

Well, firstly - she did make an offer to drop child support if I moved into her township in preparation for her apparent forthcoming death. She wanted me to do so to ensure that the boys would still go to school in her township. As I’ve previously said, she even wants control of our lives from “The Great Beyond.”

Then, she went ahead and did the very same thing she bitches about in her email. Idiot.

I ignored her for obvious reasons. Therefore, I didn’t screw myself out of anything because like so many other empty promises she’s made, this one was never going to happen. It was just another crazy email.

She added…

As for the nasty attitude, have I ever called you psycho or crazy in any public domain?? What happens between you and I is not fodder for DW. You’re not even married to her….she’s not their stepmother…..she’s not even nice to them. As for her saying she’ll have another opportunity to have me arrested….no she wont….not ever.

~PEW

The answer to her first question is an unequivocal and resounding YES!!! There are many public records that will support that, too. As for having another opportunity to be arrested… that comment is a direct reference to what DW wrote about - PEW’s threats to show up at our place, unannounced. The extent of her comment was that she would welcome her to try so that she could call the police and have PEW arrested for doing so.

She adds again…

Have her delete the crap….or I will retaliate the same way….and she won’t like what I say about her. I can say alot… DELETE IT!!!

~PEW

It probably would have been deleted regardless, but of course, now DW won’t. Wouldn’t want her believe that DW deleted it because she “ordered” it and not because the project has advance beyond the stage it was in back then. So, DW will wait a while before folding that up.

So, in reply to our continued “NO CONTACT” on the subject, she started her own blog. She has not continued with it.  However, not before I could get a couple of screen shots to share some of the details. She only had one blog post and it was rather… mundane. However, her cover info was a treat to read.

PEW’s About Me Page:

I am digressing my ex’s girlfriend bashes me to my kids… and everyone and anyone else who will listen.  So, I decided to put a few tidbits out there for her, too.  See during our 4 year custody battle, she was the only person my ex could get to listen to him, so she fanned the flames of nastiness making him next to impossible to deal with… AND she’s super ugly to boot.  So, until she deletes what she has written about me… I am going to blog as much as possible about the kind of person she is and the kind of person he is.  I will call her [strange name that isn't DW] and I will call him [stranger name 1 or even stranger name 2, neither of which are Mister-M].  This is going to be good stuff, so stick around!

Projection.

Who I’d Like to Meet: DW’s Ex-Husband.

General:

I am basically a devoted mother of two young sons and I always do what’s best for them.  It’s a struggle with their dad being a total deadbeat, but somehow I manage.

That is hysterical.  If only she knew what an insult this is to any parent of children with an ex (wife or husband) who has willfully and deliberately vanished from their lives and refuses to support them.  I’m really beginning to believe that there is no one or no group that she won’t insult.

Books:

The one I’m going to write someday.

Heroes:

MYSELF - for being the very best parent, friend, daughter, sister… that I know.

This was truly my favorite.  It exudes narcissism.  The Psycho Ex-Wife REALLY loves The Psycho Ex-Wife!  She’s her own hero and is the best of everything to everyone.  You know what?  She truly believes it, too… with every fiber of her being.

She ended up deleting the blog and sending this…

LM,

You probably called at 5 to curse at me and insult me as usual…sorry to disappoint you. I changed my mind….I don’t care what DW has to say about me…I’m over it.  Here is what I am saying to you….I look at what you’re doing on the internet for a reason…and that is for the next time you inevitably drag me into court. It’s not stalking, I am gathering important information for the future.  What you two put out there for the public is to be looked at by anyone, even me.  It’s all good stuff for me, so just keep on doing what you’re both doing.   AND…I hope DW isn’t thinking of cooking up another “cyberstalking” case…because it’s a bunch of crap, I don’t really care what she’s doing, unless it effects my kids….I only care about what you’re doing….because everything you do always effects the kids on some level….eventually.  What I do is totally LEGAL and SMART.  I need to do it because of the history here.

I can’t afford to have bullshit in my life right now…..so I’m letting it go.

~PEW

I called at 5PM to talk with the boys, though, it is her desire that I was calling to talk (fight) with her.

It’s my new acronym for one of the most despised phrases I hear in divorce and family court (as well as debate and discussion all around the internet on the same subjects):

BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN

So now, more often than not, when I hear someone say, “best interests of the children” - what I hear is, “SHUT UP, BIOTCH!”

It’s the phrase I see most often used to disarm legitimate concerns on a myriad of subjects. It’s the phrase I most see most often used to justify some of the crazy decisions I’ve seen or read about in divorce and family court all over the world.