The Psycho Ex Wife

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Oh, what a treat when she comes out of nowhere with both barrels a’blazin’!

With the very fewest exceptions, I make the children lunch every single day they are with me.  I rotate their different favorites, toss in a snack, some fruit, and a drink.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Every rare once-in-a-while I get lazy.  Most times I make lunch the night before and have it ready to go.  Fewer times, I make it in the morning during breakfast.  Rarely, I just don’t frigging feel like it and give them each $2.10 to buy the school lunch.

So, imagine my surprise when I get this gem without warning…

LM, If you are having the kids buy lunch when they are with you send them with lunch money. I put money in the account so they can buy when they are with me if I want them to. Last week S2 owed $10 from the previous week that I had to pay so that he could buy. And now I just got low balance notifications, so if they are buying… send money cheapskate!!!

Isn’t it amazing how condescending someone can be when they’re collecting child support from a parent who has more than half of the total custody time, is unemployed and is thus making significantly less money than her?

Originally, I was disinclined to respond, but was curious.  If you remember the Food Deprivation Series, you know that this is a discussion not worth pursuing, but still ironic since less than one year ago, she was encouraging them to buy lunch when they were with me and I was packing lunch.  So I figured I would ask the boys about it.  Smart and savvy they are - it would appear that they occasionally “forget” to use the cash I give them since they are in the habit of just going through the line, giving their pin number and moving on to chow.

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I urge them to “not forget in the future.”

PEW,

I send them with money the rare time I send them without a homemade lunch. One time last week, I left the house without my wallet and I will send them home to you with $4.20 this week. I actually meant to do it last week.

Other than that single time, I always send them with lunch money.

I spoke to the boys this morning and they said that sometimes they forget to use the money when I send it with them, so that might account for the shortfall. Of course, it’s probably in their bank here or there.

Way to overreact like a petulant child, again.

~LM

Yes, I tossed a dig in there.  A rare moment of weakness.  As expected, it comes with another reply.

[drum-roll please...............................................................................]

(more…)

Despite the psycho ex-wife’s repetitive complaints about the costs of all of the contentious litigation - it never stopped her from getting attorneys involved and spending a lot of money on wasteful motions, proceedings, letters, and phone calls.  This post is a follow-up to: Spending a Lot to Get a Little.

I took a shot in May of 2005 to get it resolved, but the never-ending sense of entitlement prevailed and I just let it drop.  Out of nowhere, during a phone call in mid-August of that year, she had made mention of the $1,000 escrow that still existed from the settlement of the marital household.  I replied via email:

PEW:

With regard to that escrow acct. It is currently in [first attorney's] name. If you want to have it transferred to D-Mac’s, I’ll sign a release so we can split it up.

And suddenly, without hesitation, she gives the go-ahead to release it, probably because there was something else she wanted to buy.

LM:

That would be fine with me.

PEW:

Well I don’t know how to go about doing that. So can you find out?

LM:

Send a letter to D-Mac agreeing to release the escrow account, splitting the proceeds between you and I 50/50. She will call [first attorney] and he will disburse the checks accordingly.

About a month would go by before I heard anything more, about mid-September when she wrote:

PEW:

Any word on this?

It was shortly thereafter that the checks were cut and the last of the “equitable distribution” matters from our horrendous marital relationship was completed.

Sometime after falling asleep last night, I received the following text message from The Psycho Ex-Wife:

Did u guys get to wherever u were going safely?  Im having one of those weird feelings

The time was 10:42PM.  Obviously, there was no reply.  Had I been awake, I likely wouldn’t have replied anyway.

On the surface, one might say, “…well that appears to be the genuine concern of a loving, caring mother just calling to make sure her children are safe!” It’s not.  Perhaps just seeing if I would reply with an angry tirade about the events of last Friday.  Further, there are a few things that demonstrate the disingenuous nature of the text…

1. She sent a text! If she had a weird feeling (maybe some creepy mother-child psychic connection that we mere fathers would know nothing about) - don’t you do something more than send a text message?
2. No phone call following the unanswered text. One would think if you had some weird feeling something was wrong, seriously wrong, and your children weren’t safe - wouldn’t an unanswered text actually FEED your “weird feeling” and prompt an escalation to at least a mildly panicky phone call?
3. The antagonistic follow-up email from this morning that read, among other things…

Thanks for responding to my text last night.  I’m assuming everything is all-right.

As I have not replied to any of it, that’s a rather dangerous assumption, wouldn’t you say?  So much for mom’s concern for her children’s safety and well-being.  Would it surprise you to learn that the bulk of the short email was about money?

JB - if you’re reading… expect the next confrontation to be about PEW’s attempted unilateral decision to pursue the braces issue.  Today, I am going to be drafting a letter for the orthodontist.  For the back-story:  CLICK HERE!

After the events leading up to Parts 2 and 3, the Psycho Family Phone Threats…. I held my ground and I stood firm on not bending to the crazy emails, the family phone threats, her threats regarding litigation, my being in contempt… I waded through her desperate phone calls to the Sheriff’s Department… and stayed the course.

Nothing was going to make me change my mind.  In order to make it more convenient for her vacation with the children, I flexed and moved up the exchange date 2-days.  She suggested coming down to our place to see where the kids were living while with us.  I accepted and made arrangements accordingly.

And, after all of the drama, threats, calls to authorities - she came down and was on-time for the child exchange.  However, given the dramatic concerns over her “safety,” she would not come to the home, so we ended up meeting at a local market a few miles from the home.  How sad.  She also came down with what I guess was her bodyguard - Psycho-SIL.  They did so in the dreaded “piece of shit car that probably won’t make it.”  That same car that had no problems going anywhere at anytime while I was the primary driver.  That same piece-of-shit that always seemed to drive long distances when it was something she really wanted to do, but never seemed to be road-worthy when it came time to meet for exchanges or come down to see where the kids were living.  The “piece-of-shit” defense was one used to dodge responsibilities or anything else that went against what she wanted to do or believed she was obligated to do.  This was true even when ordered to do so.

Interestingly enough, our interaction was minimal.  In fact, it was as if none of the drama previously detailed ever even took place.  We met, the boys moved from one vehicle to the other, and they were off.

A rather anti-climactic conclusion, at least, if you actually call this the conclusion.  I would pay a price for standing my ground when it would come time for my vacation with the children that was slated to start the following weekend in July of 2005.

(By the way… the “piece of shit” made it all the way here, all the way back, all the way to her parents beach home, all the way back to her house, and everywhere else she went until she got rid of it.  I’m willing to be it is out there somewhere rolling up the miles even today.)

I just discovered that the money machine that is our family court system is operating at peak money-taking efficiency.  It was my mistake as I read the court order, which indicated that the matter was “generally continued and consolidated with the matter scheduled for conference on 6/24/2009.”  I interpreted that to mean that the hearing was continued until that date and the usual and customary post-conference hearing would take place when we couldn’t come to an agreement.  Tomorrow’s event is NOT a hearing, it is just a conference.  Who knows, maybe we’ll get the whole thing settled tomorrow and avoid a hearing altogether, right?  Anyone daring to hold their breath?

Separately, I had Psycho-SIL served to appear tomorrow.  Fortunately, it wasn’t wasted as a person can be subpoenaed to come for a child-support conference.  When the provider I use called me to confirm that he was successful, this is what he told me…

Gloating Server Guy: Mister-M, I just wanted to let you know that I served Aunt DUI and you can come pick up your receipt.

Mister-M: Great, thank you!

GSG: Yeah, when I drove up, she was sitting there on the porch smoking a cigarette.  I got out of my car and approached her and asked, “Excuse me, Psycho-SIL?”  She looked startled and without any provocation blurted out, “UHHHH, I DON’T LIVE HERE!  I’M JUST HERE TO LET OUT THE DOG!”

Mister-M: (laughs)

GSG: I told her that I don’t care why you’re here, this is a subpoena to attend and testify.  You’re served.  She asked me, “Oh?  When is it?”  I told her, “Tomorrow” and left to get in my car.  She said, “Oh, SHIT, you’re kidding me?!?!?!”  And I said, “No, ma’am.  Have a good evening.”

So, I told him when I would come pick up the receipt and it ended our conversation.  I hung up thinking to myself… do you know when you can just tell that a person takes particular pleasure at being the bearer of potentially bad news?  Gloating Server Guy sounded just like that as he described the encounter.