The Psycho Ex Wife

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I was hoping to do a take-off on the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week” by having what I was prepared to call: The Psycho Ex-Wife’s “Psycho-SIL Week” featuring all of the criminal complaints that she has left in her wake over the past few years, all while being invited to live with and be a part of the children’s lives.

Maybe we should call it “Psycho Sister-In-Law Gone Wild” or something?

However, while some of the police departments we’ve visited have been cooperative and swift in our requests for the public records to which we are entitled, others are dragging their feet.  Since I am too impatient to wait until I get all of them, we’ll drop them in as we get them or simply feel compelled to.

We’ll start Monday, August 17th.  For some background, re-visit The Psycho Police Blotter.

In order to continue from Part II - Big Confrontations, we had to do some serious editing of Psycho-SIL’s voice mail.  She used a lot of names and places and maybe some day, I’ll actually learn how to use the software to edit things like these a lot better.  In the meantime, we again apologize for the sound quality, but I assure you, it’s dramatically improved.  Keep in mind, this voice mail went from… the Voice Mail… to a cassette tape… to a digital voice recorder… to the computer.  Needless to say, the level of hiss that once existed would have made it completely unlistenable.

In today’s Part III, you get the voice mail from Psycho-SIL. Hers was the first of two calls from the family.  Accompanying the sound file is a transcript of the call. Again , I chose to edit out names and places to protect the innocent and the guilty. Those edits are in brackets in the transcript. Following along should make “hearing” everything that is said much, much easier, but not as easy as the last offering.  She had 20+ edits while Psycho-FIL’s had less than 10.

TRANSCRIPT:

Hey [LM], it’s [Alcoholic SIL], I just talked to my sister. I heard she spoke to [DW] yesterday. Umm, in my email of a couple months ago remember where I said I was going to, ummm, intervene if [PEW] got in over her head trying to deal with you. Umm, I spoke to my parents and we’re gonna be hiring a first-class attorney, umm, and apparently [DW] said that if [PEW] didn’t drive 10-hours down there to pick up the boys, which [Gloria Evaluator] said was unreasonable for you to ask her to do, especially on a holiday weekend, umm, if the boys aren’t returned by you, this holiday weekend Saturday, we’ll be getting the District Attorney to get the State Troopers to come down there and pick the boys up, okay? So, tell [DW], first of all, don’t ever talk to my sister again, okay, first of all, and second of all, if the boys aren’t returned this Saturday, by you, okay, there is gonna be serious consequences. We’re gonna alert [Gloria Evaluator] of all the things that [DW] said, especially about what are we going to do about [PEW] and see if she can get that into an addendum to her report and all the purported things that you said that she said so far ummm, and, again, we’re hiring an attorney, an AV-rated attorney that I’ve researched and is very well known in [Partagas]. And again, my father has already taken, err, spoken to the District Attorney er, in uh, [Bolivar] County and [Partagas] and have the State Troopers umm, come down and get the boys if you’re not gonna escort them up because that’s a violation of the agreement that you and [PEW] worked out in good faith. [Gloria Evaluator] said it’s not [PEW’s] responsibility since you moved out of state. And [DW] has no responsibilities to be discussing anything with [PEW] and I do not appreciate her talking to my sister like this. Okay, and I hope you’re taping this because it’s a good thing! umm again, I want this on record because, I cannot believe that you would have the boys listening to this and don’t even say that the boys weren’t in the room or within hearing of this conversation, you two bantering back and forth giving my sister mothering tips. Umm, it’s easy to move out of state and, uhh, be a Monday night quarterback about what’s been going on when you move off into a new state and, umm, start a new life, okay, and leave the wreckage for [PEW] to deal with, okay? Ummm, tell [PEW] when she can expect you to drop the boys off, ummm, either up at her house or the shore or let us know, ummm, you know, if the State Troopers will be coming to pick them up. Thank you very much.

CLICK HERE TO PLAY THE PODCAST OF HER VOICE-MAIL:

 

 Psycho-SIL VM as an MP3: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Some thoughts (again)…

• Who cares if you hire a really good attorney?  You were going to anyway.  Given all of the litigation that had taken place to that point already, did she honestly think that the threat of MORE litigation was a good motivational tool? That attorney actually lost her custody time as I went from every other weekend to every other week after he came on board. Guess he wasn’t that great after all.
• Nearly everything else claimed was fictional, starting with her/PEW’s contention that Gloria said any such thing about the travel time.  The only thing Gloria spoke of regarding our respective vacations was surprise that we had (at the time of the discussion) worked it out without any problems..
• DW wouldn’t have talked to her sister… IF HER SISTER HADN’T CALLED THE HOUSE AND ASKED TO SPEAK WITH HER!
• Gloria never said sharing travel wasn’t PEW’s responsibility.  You’ll see, in her recommendation (future post) that she recommended an increase in PEW’s travel sharing responsibilities.
• The only parenting tips that either of us offered PEW was to stop making the children want to come home by promising them toys, animals, presents, etc. when they were with me during my parenting time.
• It’s “arm-chair quarterback” and not “Monday night quarterback,” you drunken slob.
• She sounds drunk.
• She certainly doesn’t sound like she knew what she was going to say when she picked up the phone between the stuttering, the “ummmms and ahhhhs,” the long uncomfortable pauses, and non-sensical jibberish that she put forth.
• Her sister initiates a divorce and a barrage of litigation… and the “wreckage” is my fault.  Only in a sick, twisted, warped family’s mind is that true.

The Conclusion to come…

Well, the Psycho-SIL will have to testify eventually.  She’ll probably lie through her teeth, but I loaded enough stuff into this one to make sure she has to at least make an effort to substantiate her claims of rent payments to PEW.  Further, I have asked her to provide appropriate documentation to demonstrate that she is moving out when she claims to be (rental agreements, new address, etc.).

The past two subpoena efforts were an unfortunate matter of poor timing, though they would never believe that.  I had her served the day before each “event” because that was the day-of or day-after conferencing with my attorney.  With a new hearing date in August, I figured that they might be expecting that I was doing this “last-minute” thing on purpose, so I advised my server-person to make a point of doing it right away to avoid any 11th-hour dodging on the part of Aunt DUI.  He did just that and it apparently provoked PEW to write me… twice.

LM,

Why are you continually sending subpoenas to my sister? She is moving out July 1st thanks to you!! What exactly are you trying to do? If her banks statements are relavant then so are DW’s bank statements. I hope you are checking with your attorney before you are firing off these subpoenas. All the years you have known Psycho-SIL….has she ever been overflowing with money??? what are you expecting to find? do you seriously think she has paid more than what I’ve shown at the conferences? If anything it’s LESS and I will show that on Aug. 7th. I do not know why you are even messing with the meager child support you currently pay….what is your problem?? you are either really stupid or really CRAZY. You are jeapardizing my job….you are harrassing my sister…..WHY? Get a job.

~PEW

Well, DW’s bank statements won’t be relevant because she doesn’t pay me rent, which is why Aunt DUI’s bank statements are relevant.  Yes, I seriously think that she’s paid more than the approximately $265/month they’re both claiming to have been paying.  Mostly, that is due to at least 2 prior instances where PEW said “$600/month” and part of the reason we came to an agreement prior to the last child support hearing in the Fall of 2007.  As for her “overflowing with money” comment, I submit the entire email from 2005 (Threats from Psycho-SIL), from which comes the following excerpt comes (written to me by Aunt DUI)…

….I finally settled my lawsuit on Monday. Suffice to say that with pain & suffering, after my attorneys fees have been taken out, I won’t have to worry about money for the rest of my life….

So, my answer to PEW would be an unequivocal, “YES, I sure do.” Do I really believe that Aunt DUI is rich beyond her wildest dreams?  No, I don’t, but that’s what she has presented in her email.  Aunt DUI isn’t moving out because of me, she is moving out so as to assist PEW in her hiding the rental income and avoid having it be part of the child support order.  Of course, this time, I will do what is necessary to ensure that she stays out of the house and not move back in once the child support order is set.

Her first email (to which I didn’t respond) was followed by a second one… not an unusual occurrence…

LM,

I haven’t inconvenienced your family and friends AT ALL in the past 5 years….you have caused so many problems for the people close to me. I am calling [my attorney] on monday, my sister is so upset. You’re going to see how embarassing and hurtful it is when you’re loved ones are dragged into a hearing that has NOTHING to do with them. Make sure [your brother] and DW and your landlord etc….are ALL available all day on Aug. 7th ok?? We’re gonna have a big party up at the courthouse.

~PEW

More delusional thinking if she believes that her antics over the course of the last 5-years haven’t inconvenienced my friends and family.  If her sick, substance-abusing sister weren’t such a huge part of the children’s daily lives… if she didn’t live with PEW… if she didn’t periodically inject herself into our proceedings… if it wasn’t RELEVANT… she wouldn’t be receiving subpoenas from me.  My subpoena is rooted in issues that are directly relevant to the matter at hand. If she wants to spend money on subpoenas for people who have no direct relevance to the matter at hand, that’s her problem and unnecessary expense. It wouldn’t be the first time she would incur lots of legal expenses over nothing.

I think that PEW is afraid that she’ll be really exposed (again).  I think Aunt DUI is afraid that she’ll also be exposed (again).

My purposes are quite simple:

• Show the court that PEW is a deliberate liar, income hider, false swearer to the court (again).  This isn’t about the money because the actual “take” I could obtain, even at the $600/month figure, is small.
• Establish a pattern of behavior that dates back to 2005 with Aunt DUI moving out in advance of a child support order… and then moving back in after the order is in place… thereby forcing me to let it go or engage in additional expense to pursue it.
• Get Psycho-SIL out of the house and make it permanent.  And if this exercise doesn’t do it, then I’ll be left with no choice but to move to modify the custody agreement to give me custody of the children or to prohibit Aunt DUI from living with the children, babysitting the children, driving the children anywhere no matter who is in the car… anything.  Her untreated bi-polar disorder combined with her ongoing substance abuse problems make her a clear and present danger to the children (and the rest of the general public).

I just discovered that the money machine that is our family court system is operating at peak money-taking efficiency.  It was my mistake as I read the court order, which indicated that the matter was “generally continued and consolidated with the matter scheduled for conference on 6/24/2009.”  I interpreted that to mean that the hearing was continued until that date and the usual and customary post-conference hearing would take place when we couldn’t come to an agreement.  Tomorrow’s event is NOT a hearing, it is just a conference.  Who knows, maybe we’ll get the whole thing settled tomorrow and avoid a hearing altogether, right?  Anyone daring to hold their breath?

Separately, I had Psycho-SIL served to appear tomorrow.  Fortunately, it wasn’t wasted as a person can be subpoenaed to come for a child-support conference.  When the provider I use called me to confirm that he was successful, this is what he told me…

Gloating Server Guy: Mister-M, I just wanted to let you know that I served Aunt DUI and you can come pick up your receipt.

Mister-M: Great, thank you!

GSG: Yeah, when I drove up, she was sitting there on the porch smoking a cigarette.  I got out of my car and approached her and asked, “Excuse me, Psycho-SIL?”  She looked startled and without any provocation blurted out, “UHHHH, I DON’T LIVE HERE!  I’M JUST HERE TO LET OUT THE DOG!”

Mister-M: (laughs)

GSG: I told her that I don’t care why you’re here, this is a subpoena to attend and testify.  You’re served.  She asked me, “Oh?  When is it?”  I told her, “Tomorrow” and left to get in my car.  She said, “Oh, SHIT, you’re kidding me?!?!?!”  And I said, “No, ma’am.  Have a good evening.”

So, I told him when I would come pick up the receipt and it ended our conversation.  I hung up thinking to myself… do you know when you can just tell that a person takes particular pleasure at being the bearer of potentially bad news?  Gloating Server Guy sounded just like that as he described the encounter.

In the event anyone wanted to know, driving with a suspended license is not a crime unless you’re pulled over for another traffic violation.  I recently spoke of Psycho-SIL’s brushes with the law back in Psycho Police Blotter.

Needless to say, I was annoyed (but didn’t let it show) when Aunty DUI was behind the wheel of her car with PEW in the passenger seat during the exchange yesterday.  So, after we got home and I got the kids settled, I walked out into the woods and called the police.  The local police station is about a 60-second walk from PEW’s home.  I explained to the situation and that Aunty DUI is currently driving with a suspended license, I didn’t want her driving my children around, and told them if they sat in front of her house, she would be pulling up any minute for them to do something about it.

As gracious, explanatory, and even humorous (at times) as the officer was, the bottom line is, there is nothing the police can do about someone driving with a suspended license unless they are stopped for another violation.  The “logic” is that in order for the officer to pull Aunt DUI over for just that reason, he would have to prove that he knew who she was, what she looked like, that her license was suspended - in order to have cause to pull her over.

Reluctantly, I admitted that it made perfect sense and that it “sucked ass.” He replied that it was one of “life’s shit-sandwiches that we all sometimes have to take a bite of.”

He was very sympathetic, looked up all of the stuff while I was there on the phone with him, and let me know that her license was ultimately suspended for 2-months, adjudicated this week 2-months ago.  So, adding insult to injury, her license is good as of tomorrow, anyway.

So, for all of those people who wonder why drunk driving is still a problem - it’s because you can have an established pattern of lack of control using alcohol, much in the same way that Aunt DUI has with about a half-dozen citations for public drunkenness and being caught & convicted of driving while obliterated at twice the legal limit… on the SIDEWALK in town… get a slap on the wrist… and then drive with your suspended license as long as you aren’t involved in a traffic stop.

And think about this… the diversionary program in which she’s enrolled will allow her to possibly have her record expunged.  Yep… the benefits of being a menace to society and worse… the boys.  She’ll get away with both flagrantly driving with a suspended license and for DRUNK-DRIVING.  I think I’m going to tell them, really soon, about the dangers of drunk-driving and use Aunt DUI as an example.  Yes, I am.  And I may tell them never to get into a car with her if she’s driving under any circumstances, too.

Bottoms-up!