Dear Psycho-SIL,
First, you should not threaten me. What you wrote are threats, but I realized a long time ago that you are too big a moron to recognize that reality. I offer you the following positive response that is beneficial to both of your nephews: Go fuck yourself. Now, regardless of what is apparent to all of those idiots who enable the crazy behaviors of you and your sister, one thing is for certain – the less time the children spend with you and your family, the better. That is what is best for the children and for me.
It is great to hear that you finally settled your imaginary lawsuit. My only wish is that I had on tape the discussions I overheard between you and the PEW where you planned your “accidental fall” at the hospital in the aftermath of your gastric bypass surgery. Nothing quite demonstrates craziness (not that your long and checkered past didn’t do that already) than deliberately smashing your face on a table at the hospital in order to commit fraud – something with which you have extensive experience. Had I been in a position to prove your fraud, it would have been a delight beyond what I can put in words to have been able to be a surprise witness for the hospital, waltzing in with taped evidence of your plan to commit this crime. I suppose it is a good thing that your former customers (Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe) were willing to take you on as a client. My guess is – they weren’t one of the customers that you stole from during your short career as Regional Manager of Computer Store.
The fear I have given the knowledge of your unlimited resources is steep. It’s obvious from the fact that you’re now living in that palatial estate known as “your parent’s basement” that you’ve spared no expense in the aftermath of your victory. Can you feel me shaking in my boots?
As for your list of demands… I will not return the van to the PEW. I’ve paid for it completely. Twice. Once when new. Once one I gave PEW half the current value of the van in trade with a car (which I also paid for entirely) and $5,000 cash. Of course, if your sister wants to give me the car and the cash back, I would actually consider it! However, we both know how much PEW covets cash. The type of “man” I am is the one who sat back, laid out all of the (more than) fair options and simply awaited PEW’s decision, which she made of her own accord. As for her regrets – may I offer you both the toughest shit possible.
Regarding therapy for the children – I have very little problem with doing so, as they need it in order to manage both the changes that are occurring in their lives and, hopefully, to be able to manage the craziness, irresponsibility, and lack of discipline that your family will undoubtedly try to instill in them. There are already enough bullies on your side of the family – I’m not interested in seeing them groom two more. Further, when I am convinced that this is not yet another effort to pin some mental illness or other label that will result in the boys being drugged like so many other children are, unnecessarily, nowadays, this will occur. His anger-management issues are a direct result of your sister’s (and your) frequent, unexpected explosive behaviors, in addition to what they may have seen or heard within their household. S1’s eating and weight issues are a direct result of your entire family’s inability to either eat healthy or get any meaningful exercise. Have any of you looked in the mirror lately? There is enough flesh and weight to sink a barge. When you speak about health, eating, and weight management – all you and the family needs to do is take a good hard look in the mirror (or several of them) to find the root of their dietary issues. Finally, I can assure you that your concerns regarding the children meeting DW are dwarfed by my concerns (and those of other health professionals) regarding the significant presence and influence you have in their lives as a diagnosed bi-polar with substance abuse problems and a lengthy criminal history. I would welcome you to subpoena whoever you want. You have my 100% guarantee that you will be quite surprised as to what most of them will testify to regarding PEW.
Regarding the climate control in our home – I will keep the heat on, as I have always done, 68-70 degrees. Unlike your sister, the inside of the home does not need to be heated to the level of a tropical paradise. Anything higher than that is a waste of energy and money, things that have never concerned your sister because she was not responsible for paying for any of that, either. As for the lighting issue, all I have ever asked is that lights be turned off in rooms that are not in use. Again, for normal people in this world, that is standard operating procedure. After all, shouldn’t we all be making reasonable efforts to reduce our carbon footprint?
As an additional reality check – as required by the court order, I already pay the larger percentage of unreimbursed medical expenses in addition to paying a substantial sum of money to carry the children on my insurance plan. Given your past expertise in the “fuzzy math” necessary for you to gain financially regardless of who you rip-off in the process, I can understand your demand. Still, it will not happen. The children do not live nude while in my custody, they have nice clothes (when your sister isn’t throwing them out) and are dressed well for school. Your delusions are laughable and it would appear it may be time to increase the dosage of your meds. Ooops! My mistake, you’re not taking any (at least not legally).
Finally, I don’t harass the PEW. Quite the contrary in fact and I have years worth of evidence to demonstrate this. Some of the unmitigated craziness includes you and others in your family as well. Even your own brother believes you’re a nutcase who is a “total drama queen who could go off at anytime.” (That’s a direct quote, I can send you a copy of the email if you’d like to review it.) I won’t be just dealing with you, you crazy psychotic bitch. The only scary part of this entire email is that you’re in some bizarre place right now where you actually believe you have the power, authority, and connections to follow-through on your threats. One order of yours I will follow-through on, though. Discussions will be between attorneys – and it starts with this email. I have a feeling that even your crazy-assed sister is going to be shocked, surprised, and quite pissed at what you’ve tried to do. My only hope is that it serves to undermine her case, further support the grave concerns I have with regard to her having so much custody, and the likely significantly increased exposure the children will have to you and the rest of your family. You’re a frigging loon.
Most Sincerely,
LM