The Psycho Ex Wife

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#2 in the Psycho Ex Christmas Carol Series, comes the compilation from reader GGRR and Mister-M, sung to the tune of Silent Night.  The Christmas Carol Series is our morbid attempt to add a little levity to the lives of those preparing for the struggle that often accompanies the holiday season dealing with a high-conflict psycho ex-wife or psycho ex-husband.

Let’s call this one: Un-Silent Night

Silent night, Things are all right
PEW’s in church, “seeing the light,”
Two weeks later she’s back to her tricks
Terror and threats thrown into the mix,
Then a cruel ema-il bla-ast,
Silence can ne-e-ver last…..

Silent night, not quite right!
Neighbors quake, at her sight
Profanities stream from e-ven afar
People just know for the course this is par
Christ, please save-us from ha-arm
Christ, please save-us from harm…..

Silent night, chaos and fright
Damn it to hell, I want things to be nice
Duplicate gifts, she’s such a disgrace
Have to be firm, boun-da-ries are in place
Will she e-ver real-ize
No-one believes all of her lies…..

The beautiful real version, as sung by Bing Crosby:

Up next, #3 in the Christmas Carol Series, She’s A PEW.

On the suggestion of a reader and after reading some submissions and laughing our asses off, we’ve decided to do a Christmas Carol Series to celebrate the holidays at ThePsychoExWife.com. Expect that it will be done to add a little levity to the lives of those preparing for the struggle that often accompanies the holiday season dealing with a high-conflict psycho ex-wife or psycho ex-husband.  We’ll kick it off with a submission offered by JB…

(To the tune of “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”)  This one should be called, It’s The Most Blunderful Time of the Year.

It’s the most wonderful t-i-m-e…. of the year.
There’s the cool denigration
The snide commentation,
Destroy your child’s good cheeeeerrr…

It’s the most wonderful time — of the year!

Crush your kids — it won’t matter,
Your ego’s been battered,
You’re making your evil ex pay!
Just ignore their sad faces,
Spew hate - yes, just say it!
They should love YOU best anyway.

It’s the most wonderful time — of the year!

All the grand PASing,
“Oh, was that ‘your’ day?” messing,
And e-mail sarcasm galore.
All the slander and blaming,
Transparent game-playing,
And “I’m taking you back to court!”

It’s the most wonderful t-i-i-m-m-m-e…….

Of The YEAR!!

[frolicky musical flourish]

#2 in the Psycho Ex Christmas Carol Series, Un-Silent Night.