The Psycho Ex Wife

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More of the same moronic “Fathers Not Needed” single motherhood by choice tripe from an out-of-touch television and movie star comes forth from Jennifer Aniston, a woman not known for making some of the smartest choices in life as it is.  And the truth of the matter is that “…any publicity is good publicity…” is really the premeditated order of the day for her movie The Switch.  Still, the subject does require some short discussion about how truly dangerous it is for children and for society this whole foolishness of single motherhood by choice.

During a recent press conference to hawk her forthcoming movie, Jennifer Aniston said on single motherhood by choice:

“Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don’t have to settle with a man just to have that child, times have changed and that is also what is amazing is that we do have so many options these days, as opposed to our parents’ days when you can’t have children because you have waited too long.”

Well, that certainly may be true, but what hasn’t really changed is the dramatic increase in negative outcomes for children and for society for those raised by these “amazing” women in fatherless homes, including:

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The summer of 2007 was no different than most in one respect.  That one respect was that it would have some major malfunction due to the destructive nature of the PEW.  2005 were the threats from her, her family, and the alienation efforts of all of them.  In 2006, it was serious ramp-up of the parental alienation, particularly via the phone calls to the children as we had them as primary custodians for that summer.  In 2007, it was the phone calls to the police, the sheriff, and false allegation of child abuse with child protective services.  Hell, even having the children hold hands is child abuse to PEW.

June of 2007 was sad enough.  My last surviving grandparent, a grandmother, passed away.  I had the children in [home state] and would have to travel to [custody state] to attend.  It was because of my time at the funeral that PEW would call Child Protective Service and file a false allegation of child abuse against DW as she was watching all of the children.  Technically, it was against both of us, but since I wasn’t there, we know that her motivation was to hang this false allegation of child abuse right at the feet of DW.

On the weekend in question, it was the one and only time she would come to see the children engaged in their swim team activities.  A major swim meet was taking place and she actually did come to [home state] to witness their efforts.  It was generally uneventful.  She kept the boys with her at the hotel for the weekend and engaged in some interesting activities around the area.  She came to the swim meet and there were no problems.  All exchanges were uneventful and overall, everything appeared to go “swimmingly.”

What we didn’t realize at the time was what was taking place behind the scenes and all during the following week which results in this timeline of events…

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It begins with what I suspected from the moment I saw the preview on the topic.  The lead-in features two horrendous situations.  Any guesses as to the feature stories?

Here is the April 14th, 2010 show summary from the Dr. Phil Show website:

No one wants to wind up in family court, but with over 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, it’s a familiar place for thousands of parents. Dr. Phil shines a light on the American family court system and how often it fails its citizens.

Story 1: Horrible dad who harasses and threatens mom and child, ultimately killing himself and their 9-month old child during his visitation with the child.

Story 2: The perspective of a 17-year old girl who allegedly grew up with an abusive father who sexually molested her and who worries now about the fate of her little sister.

Now, let’s be real, I’m far from a huge fan of Dr. Phil and my presumption was that this episode would be exactly what I suspected - a sensational show, highlighting horrifying tales of death and familial destruction, and the ultimate culprit would be a biological father.

As is usually the case, Dr. Phil failed to impress me with his coverage of what is a national (and worldwide crisis).  However, rather than dig deep and really look into the greatest problem in family court today, which is not biological fathers killing children or ex-spouses, but custodial interference and the gross imbalance of custodial arrangements - Dr. Phil went sensational, worst-case, rare-case scenario.  Worse than that, he can’t even balance his sensational effort with a similar story involving custodial interference, kidnapping, and murder of children by their biological mothers.

What a gross abuse of the power he has inside the media.  Here’s an opportunity for him to use his reach to really broadcast the real horrors of the family court cartels, and he goes least common denominator.

That’s not to say that the stories he chose to feature on this program aren’t serious and very compelling.  However, he grossly misrepresents what his show was purported to be about - the crisis in our family court system.  In fact, this effort couldn’t be further from doing that.  It was a show about two isolated cases with terrifying, tragic consequences and I truly feel very sorry for those involved.  Nothing more, nothing less.

The true crisis in our family court system is as follows:

• Mothers still obtain custody of children in over 80% of all cases.
• Biological mothers still kill, neglect, malnourish children (alone or in tandem with a new love interest) at a much higher rate than do biological fathers.
• Custodial interference is not taken seriously by the courts and is primarily committed by biological mothers.
• Enforcement of child support is funded into the billions of dollars by government agencies.  Enforcement of custodial interference is non-existent.
• Restraining order abuse is rampant and is often used to separate fathers from their children and household on a mere accusation and without proof of any abuse being evident.
• There are few, if any, services for men who are abused by women, while services and aid for women who are abused by men is funded into the billions of dollars.  There is literally no governmental funding for male victims of abuse.
• Family court is loaded with high-conflict personalities who are encouraged to battle it out in court due to the adversarial set up.  Once the family finances have been drained, they’re cast aside when they’ve been shaken-down completely so that they can move on to the next victim-family.

Now, the cases highlighted on this show are absolutely grotesque breakdown in specific family courts with horrifying outcomes.  In each case, something should have and could have been done before the tragedies took place.  Make no mistake about this, these horrible stories are the exception and not the rule.

The audience is loaded with angry women who may have personal grudges against awful fathers or ex-husbands.  The guests disavow the reality of PAS, are foot soldiers for the domestic violence industry, believe that mere accusations without proof should be enough.  They also parroted the same unsupportable contention that abusive “fathers” are being awarded custody in the majority of contested cases.  The bottom line was that this show was little more than a vilifying of all ready, willing, loving and perfectly capable fathers on the foundation of awful, highly sensational isolated incidents.

If you watched this show, you would believe that women don’t kill, abuse, and neglect their children.  They don’t file false allegations of abuse.  They don’t abuse children or husbands/partners.  They don’t regularly interfere with custody, including kidnapping children and whisking them away to foreign countries.  They don’t put infants up for adoption without ever notifying the biological father of the child’s existence, resulting in him never having any parental rights except in the rarest of cases.  They don’t commit paternity fraud which ultimately leaves fathers financially supporting children that aren’t theirs, in too many cases… while the mother has moved on with the child to be with the actual biological parent!

Dr. Phil - you didn’t get a sniff of what issues are the greatest in terms of covering the true crisis that is our family court system.  Worse, it really was little more than a man-bashing, father-hating event.  Truly a shame for excellent parents of both genders everywhere.  Way to do a huge disservice to the entire country.

Maybe the next episode where he is trying to push his agenda of addressing various “silent epidemics” he can arrange and audience full of angry men who have been abused by the family court system.  Maybe he can feature stories of grieving fathers whose ex-partners murdered their children.

Or maybe, he can address any number of the items I listed above that actually are the true crisis in family courts today and address them without making it appear like he is a tool of the Domestic Violence (Against Women Only) Industry, too.

One of the great many things PEW’s knuckleheaded father did that annoyed the shit out of me was tickling the children.  In moderation, it was great.  Psycho-FIL didn’t know moderation.  While the kids would often encourage the tickling, he apparently couldn’t comprehend the words “NO” and “STOP” when things got out of control.  This sadist would tickle the children until they cried.  He would tickle the children until they were unable to catch their breath.  He would tickle them until they threw-up.  The following exchange was a result of S1 telling me a story about how his beloved pop-pop tickled him so incessantly and refused to stop that he hurt his arm falling against the sofa at their home.  From my perspective, it bordered on abusive behavior (if it wasn’t outright abusive behavior). You may have seen or heard this referred to as “tickle torture.” Yes, it can be torture, especially to an idiot who uses the laughter resulting from what has turned from normal fun to great displeasure as a defense for his actions.

When we were together and I was there, I was always the one who had to put a stop to the excessive tickling when it got out of control and I would hear them shrieking for him to stop.  They’re usual justification - they were laughing, therefore, they were enjoying it.  Mindless morons.  I followed up a highly contentious phone call with an email (that wasn’t as contentious as the fiction she would return in her email).  PEW was reportedly pissed-off that S1 cursed towards EE when the injury occurred.  Yes, always defending her sick, twisted father.  Of course, there was no “cause-effect” analysis done by PEW, which clearly would have demonstrated that he had gone far beyond what was appropriate and S1, accordingly, lashed-out.  (Summer 2006)

PEW,

As discussed on the phone and as I’ve previously suggested, it’s the grownups who are in the best position to control their behavior.

EE has always gotten carried away with the tickling (among other things) and should be the one to recognize that it needs to stop. It’s a shame that it got carried away to the point of injury to S1. While I agree that S1’s cursing in response to the injury was uncalled for, it’s time for you to recognize that your father’s actions (and his penchant for using foul language in front of the boys) is the root-cause for the escalation. It’s extremely disconcerting that S1 described telling EE to stop touching him and, while continuing to laugh at S1s agony, repeatedly kept on touching him. That’s sadistic.

He really needs to get control of himself. It is not S1s responsibility to stop the adult’s behavior when it gets out of control, as you’ve repeatedly suggested. He’s 7. It’s the responsibility of the adults. Your father needs to start acting like a grandfather and not like he’s one of the boys’ 6-year old buddies.

~LM

Ohhhhh, look out!  Calling out the Dysfunctional Family Patriarch!

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China Arnold: Back in November of 2006 - China Arnold was arrested on suspicion of murdering her newborn daughter by putting the baby in a microwave oven. She was jailed on a charge of aggravated murder, more than a year after she brought her dead month-old baby to a hospital. Evidence included high-heat internal injuries and the absence of external burn marks on the baby. Rather than the death penalty, she was given life in prison without possibility of parole in August of 2008.

Susan Smith: Susan strapped her children into their car seats and ended their lives by putting the car in neutral and letting it roll down the boat ramp.   Michael and Alex Smith became murder victims when Psycho Mom reached into the car and released the parking brake sending the family car into John D. Long Lake.  She also initially lied, fabricated a story about a car-jacking and sent police and the public on a manhunt for a fabricated African American male. Judge Howard Susan Smith to thirty years to life in prison.  Psycho is eligible for parole in 2025.

Andrea Yates: Andrea filled the family tub with water and beginning with Paul, she systematically drowned the three youngest boys, then placed them on her bed and covered them. Mary was left floating in the tub. The last child alive was the first born, seven-year-old Noah. He asked his mother what was wrong with Mary, then turned and ran away. Andrea caught up with him and as he screamed, she dragged him and forced him into the tub next to Mary’s floating body. He fought desperately, coming up for air twice, but Andrea held him down until he was dead. Leaving Noah in the tub, she brought Mary to the bed and laid her in the arms of her brothers.  Andrea’s original conviction was overturned and she was found not-guilty by reason of insanity.

Sabine Hilschenz: In April of 2008, A German appeals court confirmed a 15-year prison sentence handed to this woman for killing eight of her newborn babies in the country’s worst post-war infanticide case. The remains of the babies were found in buckets and flowerpots at the home she shared with her husband, and in an old fish tank at the home of her parents in the town of Brieskow-Finkenheerd in former communist east Germany. She gave birth to nine babies - 2 boys and 7 girls - between 1988 and 1998. She was also accused of killing the first of the 9 babies, born in 1988, but the lower court ruled that the time in which she could be charged in connection with that death had lapsed.

Banita Jacks: In January of 2008, she was charged with three counts of felony murder and one count of first-degree murder while armed. She murdered 4 children in grisly fashion. Jacks told police that her daughters were possessed by demons and that each died in her sleep during a seven- to 10-day period. Preliminary findings were that Brittany was stabbed to death and that Aja died from blunt-force impact to the back of her head and possible ligature strangulation. Both Tatianna and N’kiah also had “apparent ligature evidence” on their necks that was “somewhat more defined than that noted on Aja Fogle’s neck,” court documents said. She kept her daughters for many months. Their bodies were found in the home severely decomposed.

Deanna Laney:  This psycho mom, who reported that she killed two of her three children “on God’s orders” was actually acquitted in April of 2004 and ordered into a state psychiatric facility in Texas.  Laney, an East Texas housewife, locked her sleeping husband in their bedroom and then went to Joshua and Luke’s room. She escorted Luke to a rock garden in the front yard of their home, which is encircled by a white split-rail fence. Laney told her son to lie down with his head on a rock and she took another large rock, raised it over her head and brought it down onto his skull. She then killed Joshua in the same manner. Both children were found dead with large stones lying on their chests. Aaron, the third son, 14 months old, was attacked with a rock in his crib but did not die.

Lisa Diaz: To “save her children from an evil world” - she drowned them.  Both of them.  Briana, 6, and Kamryn, 3, back in 2003.   A Collin County jury decided in August 2004 that Ms. Diaz did not know it was wrong to drown her two young daughters. She had been suffering from psychotic delusions and thought she was being merciful by killing them, according to testimony during the trial. As a result, the jury found her not guilty by reason of insanity. Prosecutors disagreed, saying that there were no signs of mental illness at the time of her arrest. In fact, they said, she showed remorse for her actions.  She was released after being found “mentally stable” after little more than 2-years in a psychiatric hospital.

Dena Schlosser: This psycho mother killed her eleven-month-old daughter, Margaret Schlosser, in 2004, amputating the baby’s arms with a knife and offering her to God.  This crazy bitch is actually soon to be a free woman.  Another mother who gets off lightly after killing children, she was found not-guilty by reason of insanity.  Now, she is moved to outpatient care and will be free from any punishment.

Geneviève Lhermitte: Back in 2007, this mother slashed the throats of her five children before trying to commit suicide in the Belgian town of Nivelles. Unfortunately, she wasn’t successful in killing herself as effectively as she took the lives of her offspring. The girls Yasmine,14, Nora, 12, Myriam, 10, Mina, 8, and a boy Mehdi, 3, had all been “killed with a knife” and the mother had called the emergency services after an apparent attempt to kill herself with the same weapon.  She was “depressed.”  On December 19, 2008 Lhermitte was found guilty of the murders by the court and is now facing life imprisonment.

Fed up with poverty and ill health, a woman fed her six children food laced with a pesticide and later consumed the same herself in new Pannapur area of Hapur on Wednesday night.

Saroj Bala: 35, was married to a truck driver who was knee-deep in debt. She poisoned all 6 of her children. The three children identified by the police are Dolly, 14, Jyoti, 10, and Sanjeev, 9; the names of the three other children could not be ascertained. In a recovered suicide note, she has blamed herself for the tragedy.  The lack of blaming someone else or something else is stunning.  This psycho mom actually blamed herself and managed to succeed in taking her own life.  Among the six children, the eldest was a 14-year-old girl and the youngest a three-year-old boy.

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I have a few thoughts:

• Ever notice how often child-killing mothers are excused for what they do?
• Ever notice how often child-killing mothers get the “female sentencing discount” for their grisly crimes?
• Do you ever wonder if the stats on domestic violence are skewed because mothers who kill their children or husbands or boyfriends are rarely, if ever categorized as “domestic violence?”
• 61% of all child abuse is committed by biological mothers while only 25% is committed by biological fathers according to data available at the DHHS report on nationwide Child Abuse.