The Psycho Ex Wife

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This weekend has marked the end of our first 5 years together, and I just wanted to let LM know exactly how much those 5 years have meant to me. If you have read about our first date together, you will know that we met while being members of a mutual friend’s private website. I knew he was funny, loyal, and incredibly intelligent from our interactions, but I certainly never knew exactly who he was. I’m so thankful everyday that I took a chance and met him in real life.

If you align the dates, you’ll realize that shortly after our very first date, PEW reared her ugly head, and broke into his home after losing a court hearing. At this point, my own divorce was quite civil as it had always been.  My ex and I even joked every time a certain dating website would suggest each other as 100% compatible. I never thought I would be dealing with a new boyfriend’s ex-wife if he was divorced.  Why would I even have to think about her? Oh, how I can hear you all laughing at my naivete. As you can imagine, the last 5 years have been a struggle on that front to say the least.

What has amazed me about LM is his ability, in the face of pure evil, to remain committed to his children. After everything PEW has done, he has never resorted to calling her out to the children, he has never badmouthed her, he has never interrogated the children about her, he has never denied her a phone call, he has never told the kids they should choose him over her. He manages all of this despite hearing what she tells the children, knowing what her family tells the children, knowing she manipulates the children by buying them everything they want. You can only imagine how difficult this is if you have been in the same situation. To sit back and defend yourself while not vilifying the other party, just to protect your children, isn’t an easy accomplishment.  But, he’s done just that.

I’ve also been able to watch LM build a wonderful relationship with my own children, family, ex-husband, and even my ex’s family. It’s amazing to have all of us sit down for Christmas dinner in our home and watch my ex-mother-in-law give a gift to LM. The love he has shown all of us, and the love we have been able to give back is a blessing.

But most of all, the relationship we have has made me believe again. In hopes, dreams, love, and God. To have a partner that pushes me when needed, and catches me when I fall.

Darling, you mean the world to me and I love you more than I can put into words. Thank you for everything you have done, for loving all of us with your entire heart. Thank you for pouring out your heart on this website in order to help others. Most of all, thank you for being you, the most loving, gorgeous man I know. I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms.

All my love,
DW

One year ago today I finally relented and decided to embark upon this journey in the Blogosphere, initially as a simple outlet for my experiences, frustrations, good-times, and bad-times as I struggled with divorcing a high-conflict spouse.  The experiences in divorce and family court haven’t always been the best, but I’ve been fortunate to get where I am today and having my two wonderful children in a shared-parenting arrangement and a “bonus family” to add to the mix with DW, SS1, and SD1.

DW - thanks for your continued support, patience, understanding, and love.

We had many incredible contributions from readers, guest columns, information sharing, book reviews, all in an effort to show people going through similar experiences (or worse) that you are not alone.  It is our sincere hope that our efforts have helped in any small way, hopefully more than that.  I assure you that you have given me help, hope, and motivation as well.

It is our desire to see that the future of this blog continues to offer more in addition to being a hub of information sharing, a place to come and tell your stories, seek advice and tips on how to cope, and to help shine a spotlight on topics such as:

• Mental illness
• Parental rights
• Laws and Legislation
• Divorce and Family Court
• Interpersonal relationships
• Parenting & Step-parenting
• …and more

Our next plan is to create discussion forums for people to make even more contributions to help, seek-help, and keep things going in a positive direction for all who should happen to come to know us and these resources.  We’re very close so stay tuned… and thanks very much again for being a part of these efforts.

Kicking off a new category, today is a noteworthy date, perhaps one to celebrate.

Today, November 2, 2008, marks one full year since I last had to attend anything court related. No meetings with an attorney. No conferences with a “Special Master.” No petitions. No court hearings.

Even as I sit here and write this, I would never have thought it so much as a remote possibility. Granted, there have been several litigation threats, there has still be a good amount of chaos and terror.

But no court or court-related activities. For that, today I give thanks.