The Psycho Ex Wife

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Whatever your denomination, we sincerely hope that your holiday season is full of love, great friends, amazing family, and that you have a minimum of upset from those who would see fit to sabotage such a great time of year.

From all of us to all of you, may the holiday season be bright, colorful, and your year ahead be better than all those that have passed!

Oh, what a treat when she comes out of nowhere with both barrels a’blazin’!

With the very fewest exceptions, I make the children lunch every single day they are with me.  I rotate their different favorites, toss in a snack, some fruit, and a drink.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Every rare once-in-a-while I get lazy.  Most times I make lunch the night before and have it ready to go.  Fewer times, I make it in the morning during breakfast.  Rarely, I just don’t frigging feel like it and give them each $2.10 to buy the school lunch.

So, imagine my surprise when I get this gem without warning…

LM, If you are having the kids buy lunch when they are with you send them with lunch money. I put money in the account so they can buy when they are with me if I want them to. Last week S2 owed $10 from the previous week that I had to pay so that he could buy. And now I just got low balance notifications, so if they are buying… send money cheapskate!!!

Isn’t it amazing how condescending someone can be when they’re collecting child support from a parent who has more than half of the total custody time, is unemployed and is thus making significantly less money than her?

Originally, I was disinclined to respond, but was curious.  If you remember the Food Deprivation Series, you know that this is a discussion not worth pursuing, but still ironic since less than one year ago, she was encouraging them to buy lunch when they were with me and I was packing lunch.  So I figured I would ask the boys about it.  Smart and savvy they are - it would appear that they occasionally “forget” to use the cash I give them since they are in the habit of just going through the line, giving their pin number and moving on to chow.

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I urge them to “not forget in the future.”

PEW,

I send them with money the rare time I send them without a homemade lunch. One time last week, I left the house without my wallet and I will send them home to you with $4.20 this week. I actually meant to do it last week.

Other than that single time, I always send them with lunch money.

I spoke to the boys this morning and they said that sometimes they forget to use the money when I send it with them, so that might account for the shortfall. Of course, it’s probably in their bank here or there.

Way to overreact like a petulant child, again.

~LM

Yes, I tossed a dig in there.  A rare moment of weakness.  As expected, it comes with another reply.

[drum-roll please...............................................................................]

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It’s the annual rite of passage for most of us dealing with the high-conflict ex-spouse.  It’s exacerbated if you’re dealing with a borderline or other personality disorder.  This holiday season is shaping up to be no different than those past.  They were predominantly chaotic and terror-filled when married to PEW.  It’s simply been status-quo since the split if you’ve followed this blog regularly.

Like clockwork came the pre-Thanksgiving email from PEW which indicated confusion over the holiday schedule.  We have Thanksgiving in odd years, PEW in even years.  If I had to pick one thing that has been clear and consistent since our split - it’s been Thanksgiving.  Her repeated emails this year were met without reply for as long as I could make it happen in keeping with low-contact principles.  I’ve actually gone back several years and reviewed emails in advance of Thanksgiving.  Unsurprisingly, they stop just short of being copied & pasted from one year to the next, this, despite clear language in the court order which details the custodial arrangement during Thanksgiving that has been the one true constant during this entire mess.   The court order reads:

Thanksgiving to include the entire weekend of Thanksgiving. Father shall have custody in odd years and Mother shall have custody in even years.

It doesn’t get much clearer than that.  It’s what we’ve practiced since 2004, though there have been disruptions along the way.  These are the disruptions we can count on every single year around holiday time.  This year would be no exception (11/10/2009):

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From our family to yours, we wish everyone the Happiest Thanksgiving of all for all of you and your loved ones.

May your day be full of great food, great family, and great friends.  Most importantly, may be it full of peace and love for all of you.

Most Sincerely,

Mister-M, DW, and the crew

Among the great many other things that occurred in the aftermath of PEW’s discovery of this site, comes another completely delusional text message - this one, from Aunt Drunkenslob (Psycho-SIL) and was unsolicited.  They just don’t know how to stop.

The Text, From Psycho-SIL, 8/24/2009, 8:31PM

I never thought u would stoop 2 this level.  I don’t even know who you are anymore.  I used 2 tell [pew] he would nevdr hurt the boys but those days r gone.

It’s short, thank Heavens for a 160-character limit, but chock full of bullshit, fueled by substance abuse and untreated mental illness.

“I never thought u would stoop 2 this level.”

“Stooping” to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the entire, ugly, abusive, harassing, disgusting truth is something I imagine they all PRAYED I wouldn’t do.  But alas, I’ve done it.  At least I’ve given them the courtesy of not publicly naming them.  Apparently, within minutes of this site’s discovery, they took care of publicly naming themselves to others - friends, family, the kids, who knows who else - for yet some other inexplicably stupid reason.

My guess is that they counted on me “keeping” all of these sick, ugly occurrences secret - simply so that they could continue on unabated.  Reality is - since I have publicly shamed no one, I didn’t really do anything to anyone.  However, in their delusional belief that EVERYONE they tell, even within their own family, will believe none of it to be true - is the most bizarre part of this entire charade.  They may never say it to their faces… but if anyone in my family did a fraction of what I’ve shared here, I’d be wondering what the hell was wrong with them and making at least a small attempt to intervene.

I don’t even know who you are anymore.

She never did.  She never has.  She never will.  SIL needs serious help.  And it’s an absolute disgrace that this family hides her problems, behavior, sickness, and alcoholism and continues to let her self-destruct.  Worse, she’s going to hurt, maim, or kill someone.  It’s only a matter of time.  And then blood will not only be on her hands, but her family’s as well.  But… her family keeps bailing her ass out and totally ignoring just how sick she is.

That said, I know who she is.  You best believe this - every day these children are out of my custody - I pray that it isn’t their blood that ends up on her hands or anyone else’s in that family.

I used 2 tell [pew] he would nevdr hurt the boys but those days r gone.

No one gives a shit what she used to tell anyone.  I’m surprised with her substance abuse problems that she can even remember her name, let alone anything you alleged used to tell PEW about me.

Seriously - get some help before you kill yourself or worse - kill someone else.