And so it continued, in 2006, it was one mad email exchange between two knuckleheads after another. The court re-affirmed that the children were to be put in the agreed-upon childcare facility after PEW pulled them out the first week of the school year and placed them with her neighbor. This, of course, occurred after a child support order was put in place that accounted for the costs of the agreed-upon child care facility - a figure she would later claim (falsely) she was paying the neighbor to watch S2. The ink wasn’t even dry on the order and she informed me that she was filing a “motion for reconsideration” on the childcare issue. This was the week following the hearing. Soon thereafter, she classically flip-flopped and, of course, I would go right along for the latest email rollercoaster ride…
LM,
I’m not filing a petition for reconsideration, because I can’t afford it. But here is what I am going to do. I am going to list out for you all the reasons why Neighbor’s is best and why going to [Agreed-Upon Childcare Facility (AUCF) is NOT:
Going to Neighbor's:
1. S2 loves going there.
2. He can take a nap in the morning if he's still tired.
3. Neighbor's son is our son's best friend and they play together all morning. They get along great.
4. Neighbor takes him to the bus stop, right outside of her house.
5. Neighbor gives him individual attention and affection that he would not be getting at AUCF.
6. He now loves kindergarten, whereas before going to Neighbor's he was crying everyday when I dropped him off and everyday when I picked him up. (ask S1, it was horrible)
7. He gets to eat a "hot lunch" at Neighbor's at least twice a week, instead of the usual cold sandwich.
8. It's only for 7 more months.
Going AUCF:
1. He would have to get dropped off earlier, making his day a 10 hour day instead of the current arrangement of 5 hrs. (stressful for a five year old)
2. He cried everyday and was extremely tired every night.
3. S1 would have to be enrolled in before care because he wouldn't be able to take the bus at 8:20 due to the fact that S2 would need to be dropped off at 8 so that I could be in work on time.
4. Additional costs due to "before care" for both kids.
5. I would have to wake both of the kids up ealier in order to get out of the house on time.
Be reasonable LM....put aside your absolute hatred of me for one second and consider making a gesture of goodwill here towards your sons.
~PEW
"Be reasonable, LM" = Do what I say now that I've unilaterally changed things for the millionth time. Not acquiescing to my demands = being unreasonable. Only in the mind of a PEW... followed by...
LM,
I've been thinking more about this. If your intent is to file contempt charges against me, then I'll look into putting S1 in a licensed facility in [Mytown]….Not AUFC though because the distance is just not feasible. The order says something like “agreed upon” licensed facility, right?…..so I’ll look into a few and get back to you with some names and we can decide which one you want him to go to. That’s the option here…..AUFC is not one of the options.
I gotta tell you though, if that’s what you are going to force me to do….. you’re doing the WRONG thing. S2 is quite happy and healthy where he is.
~PEW
This is a common trait of a PEW. You must remember that this was, in fact, an agreed-upon childcare facility. This facility was actually chosen by PEW. The children went there all summer long while she had the same work schedule. The children started off the school year there and it was incorporated into the child support number. This was all about her pocketing the difference between what the actual cost of AUCF was and the lesser amount (later proven in court) she was paying to neighbor. Again, when we talk about the projection of accusations, particularly when it comes to something being “all about the money” - there is no mistake - it is her and she had been doing this for 2 years (at the time).
Further, in keeping with common PEW traits, you’ll notice that ANY facility is now okay with her, except the one we agreed to. How often do I talk about PEW’s either never agreeing to any settlement offer on any issue or reneging on agreements that you rarely actually have happen or flat-out disregard orders to stick to agreements? Just another example folks.
PEW,
I think [Neighbors] are very, very nice people. That said, their children are out of control, despite your ongoing assertions to the contrary. I grow tired of listening to S1 tell me stories about how [Older Neighbor Kid (ONK)] constantly is BEATING on not only his own brother, but on our S2 as well. It’s no wonder they behave the way they do and still engage in physical confrontations with one another, others, and at school. I have no idea what kind of movies or games they are playing, but I am still disturbed by the fact that every time I come over there… [ONK] is “armed to the teeth” with toy firearms and when he is not shooting me and others, is showing off his substantial arsenal. I still haven’t been told the types of video games they have despite repeated requests. The list goes on. Their children are BAD (at least ONK) and the potential negative influence on ours is already evident. I once asked S1, “well what does [their Mom] do when ONK is hitting the kids?” He said, “Oh, she beats him.”
Great.
I don’t want them being watched by [Neighbors], and it is nothing personal. It is about “giving a shit” (as you so eloquently put it) about the boys. It’s not an environment that I want the children spending MORE time in than they already do. He’s tired in the morning because you don’t put either child in bed at a reasonable hour. Try 8PM, like they should be going to bed every night.
Now, as far as AUCF, I simply don’t believe you. I think S2 puts on the show for you because, as I have always maintained, that’s an act that he ONLY DOES FOR YOU. Always has and always will unless you put a stop to it. When I spoke to S2 about his time at beforecare and aftercare and he always told me he enjoyed it and the things he would do while there. Never once did he ever tell me he hated it. The fact remains that the only reason that you pulled him out was to pocket the money and I wish you would stop with the fiction that you’re paying [Neighbor] “the same amount” as the childcare facility… particularly when you spent so much time complaining about what the nanny was paid when what you ALLEGEDLY paid [Mrs. JM] and [Neighbor] (when factored out to a 5-day week) was FAR MORE money for FAR LESS time with the children than Nanny.
Please, stop lying.
Finally, I ask you to read the things you write… because most of this is about financial and logistical convenience for you, NOT the children - quite surprisingly, parroting the same issues I’ve brought up to you when it comes to travel and exchanges… and you haven’t done a single thing to make life easier on THE CHILDREN (even where their safety is concerned) since you started these things rolling.
So, there is your answer. If you want to send me a reply, feel free… I won’t address it any further.
It’s AUCF or some other equally qualified facility. I suggest you do so rather quickly as I am considering a petition to the courts for modification of support, even if it is just for the credit I’m owed since you pulled S2 out of the agreed-upon childcare facility. I also find it interesting (and I’m sure that the court will, too) that S1 didn’t previously need “beforecare” and you now use this threat to continue to try to be manipulative.
I don’t have “total hatred” for you, actually - it is you who is driven by hate and revenge. If you would simply do what has been ordered and/or agreed to, there would be no contentiousness… but as always - you are constantly looking for the next thing to be combative about. You need to stop it sooner rather than later.
~LM
Even today, I still roll my eyes at myself when I write “I will not address it any further” because we all know by now (at least back in the day) that it was a near impossibility.
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