The Psycho Ex Wife

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A while back I wrote about the strange things the Psycho Ex-Wife had put into the equitable distribution agreement, one of them was that I would give her a 90-day warranty for any repairs outside of usual wear-and-tear.  Then I posted how signing up for that warranty would come back and bite me in the ass.

Well, it would appear that PEW wanted an extended warranty and that extension would cover things that were routine in nature.

LM,

did you get a copy of this [Auto Shop's] bill yet? THe total for breaks and rotors was $383.00. Are we going to have an issue about this? Something else is wrong with it too, but since the 90 days is over I guess you won’t be responsible for that. The rotors were warped when you gave the car to me and that is in the comment section of the bill you have for the intake manifold. So when can I expect that money?

I make settlement on the house May 18th. I can’t afford to wait the usual months and months for you to respond to things.

~PEW

Uhhhh… no.  Firstly, I had just put new brakes and rotors on that car a year ago.  6-months after that when we swapped vehicles per her decision, I specifically handed her the receipt because there was a LIFETIME WARRANTY on the brakes and a LIMITED WARRANTY on the rotors.  My guess is that either knucklehead lost the receipt or… she simply forgot she had it right there in the glove compartment and paid the full freight for a complete brake job on a set that was a year old.  Not my problem.  Further, as brakes are outside of the scope of our agreement, even if the 90-days hadn’t expired, I wasn’t going to be paying for the repair anyway.

Still, like the clever little shyster she thinks she is, she figures by mentioning something about it being noticed within the pseudo-warranty period would make me liable for the costs.

I totally ignored the email from April 14th, 2005.  On April 17th… she also notifies me that she purchased a home and is moving in a month’s time…

LM,

I am moving the weekend of May 21st. If we follow the every other weekend schedule the way it is, you will have the boys that weekend. That works out very well because I’d prefer that they not be here while all that is going on. Please confirm.

As of today, I have not received the money for the brakes. I have sent a copy of the receipt with a letter to [your attorney] requesting a response so that I know whether I need to file something with the courts. (Since you did not respond to my email)

Also, I wanted to let you know that I cannot afford to meet you half way due to the fact that the support order has not been settled. It cost at least $20.00 in gas for me to get out there and back and the turnpike is $5.00 each way. That’s $60.00/month that I do not have right now. Additionally the “check engine light” is back on in the [car] and I’m waiting for a call back from [auto shop's] letting me know what the additional repair charges are going to be on that. (Obviously you won’t be paying that since the 90 days is over) But I wouldn’t want the car to break down on the way out while I’m driving the boys out to meet you.

~PEW

Excuses, excuses.  It’s the PEW backing out of an agreement again!  So much for her concerns about the children’s safety driving with me all that time when we head out to her weekend getaway… she needs to save 20-bucks!

Finally, after a short discussion with my attorney, I reply…

PEW,

If you read the agreement, the warranty (which was put in place for any breakdowns - not for general maintenance) - expired. I will not be paying for your car repairs, particularly since those brakes and rotors were brand new in March of 2004, they were checked during my oil change by Meineke prior to our swap in December of 2004. Further, I don’t know what the warranty was on the rotors, but the brakes have a lifetime warranty if you look at the receipt that I personally handed you (for the brakes and rotors replacement). You might want to take that receipt to Meineke and have them replace the brakes.

~LM

Well, then the lies and embellishments and threats and guilt-tripping and scare-tactics and revisionist history begin in earnest… I mean, she piles it all into a single, short email reply.

LM,

The rotors were warped when I took the car in January. If I had the money at the time I would have replaced them then. It’s not general maintenance, it was a defect that the car had when you transferred it to me. Also, the car’s engine light is on and in addition to the $1000 I just spent to have it “maintained” and repaired, I’m going to have to drop it off again.

I’ll go up to the courthouse today and put in a request for a hearing on that. By then I should know what this most recent engine problem is. I’ll tell you what though, it’s not going to look good for you, the guy who leaves his kids, takes the good car, moves in with his girlfriend of 4 months….but that’s not my problem.

~PEW

Uh-huh.

1. This girl never did a shred of maintenance on any car in her entire life.  Yet, she “knew” in January that brake rotors were warped.  She wouldn’t know a brake rotor if one came up and bit her on her ample ass.  (Lie)
2. Brake wear isn’t general maintenance, it’s a “defect.”  (Embellishment)
3. The $1,000 “she” just spent to have the intake manifold repaired was paid for by me.  (Revisionist history)
4. The car’s engine light is on.  (I speculate that’s a lie.)
5. She’ll request a hearing on that.  Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time she would spend more money on legal fees than the money she hoped to get in return for the litigation.  (Threat)
6. It’s not going to look good for me.  (Scare tactic)
7. I took the good car.  She truly believes that despite choosing the car over the mini-van of her own accord.  It’s DOCUMENTED in the agreement HER attorney modified.  She wanted the $5,000 cash that came with the car. (Revisionist history)
8. I left the kids.  (Guilt-tripping)
9. I moved in with DW after 4-months.  (Revisionist history)

Not bad!  A few months later, she would still bring it up under the guise of hashing it out in court, but she eventually gave it up, because she just wasn’t going to win that debate.

After much discussion, I’ve decided to retire the tagline “I’m Not Happy Until You’re Not Happy” and have decided on a new one.

The Psycho Ex-Wife:  Putting the “F-U” in Dysfunctional.

—–

Original: “Would You Like Some Rabbit With That?”

#2: “I’m Not Happy Until You’re Not Happy”

This morning, I had an interesting, short discussion with the children about the changes made at the Psycho Ex-Wife’s home regarding computer access and supervision.  This was to follow-up on our story called The Inevitable Discovery of Internet Pornography.

The questions were simple:

1. Did PEW password protect the computer?  (Power-On Password)
2. Did PEW password protect the screen-saver?
3. Did PEW obtain any software program to prevent the boys from going places that they should be?
4. Does PEW monitor their activities and periodically check to see what they’re doing online?

This wasn’t an interrogation.  The questions were part of a more age-appropriate follow-up discussion regarding use of the computer and internet in the aftermath of our discussions two-weeks ago.

The answer to each one of those questions is a resounding “NO.”  Of course, I’m not surprised as I’m sure you aren’t, either.  Despite the alleged realizations and promises to make change in the wake of the internet-porn mess, nothing has changed.  It’s a shame that people like PEW cannot make even a minimal effort to protect the children in this age of technology and unrestricted availability of all sorts of “information,” particularly the bad kind.  It’s another example of why our children will struggle with discipline and responsibility.  S1 explained, “Well, it’s because mom doesn’t want to have to always be typing in a password and doing stuff like that.” As if he needed to explain that to me.  When it comes to parenting, it’s tough enough to accept that she barely has the most rudimentary of skills in that regard.  Interestingly, she always seems to come up woefully short on issues that are of the utmost urgency.  It’s the path of least resistance almost all the time with her, unless she sees an opportunity to “go ballistic” on someone or something.

The discussion closed with a reminder about safe-surfing while at PEW’s house and any other place they may be and have internet access.  Here’s hoping that lesson sticks.

Pay attention, folks… this is a back to history post!  Keep your eyes on the category labels.  Maybe in a few years I will have completely bridged the gap between history and present day!

By this time, the news had already broken about my job change and relocation.  If you need to catch up, just click on the 2005 category label and go back a page or two.  She was about to be abandoned by her first attorney and I was about to release my original attorney in favor of D-Mac who specialized in family court and divorce matters.

A lot had transpired up to this exchange and I was pushing PEW to agree to a reversal of the every-other-weekend situation for the summer to maximize the time I had with the children.  It was early April of 2005 and we had informed The Psycho Ex-Wife about our planned summer vacation time (story for later, mentioning it here to let you know we gave her more than 3-months advanced notice).  I was moving for primary custody of the children myself, but anticipating another round of custody evaluations, I was fairly convinced that the matter wouldn’t be settled by the end of the summer. For the summer, I proposed the following schedule via email:

PEW,

In an effort to resolve this and perhaps avoid the expense of Custody Evaluations, Inc. and eventually a court date (and associated legal fees)… I suggest the following schedule:

After S1’s school year is over, the following Summer schedule is proposed:

6/26 evening until 7/8 evening with Father.
7/8 evening until 7/10 evening with Mother.
7/10 evening until 7/22 evening with Father.
7/22 evening until 7/29 evening with Mother.
7/29 evening until 8/5 evening with Father.
8/5 evening until 8/7 evening with Mother.
8/7 evening until 8/14 evening with Father.
8/14 evening until 8/21 evening with Mother.
8/21 evening until 9/4 evening with Father.

9/5 we revert back to school year every other weekend schedule with you having primary custody.

~LM

Straight-forward and specific. There is no ambiguity here. I can also tell you, there was no flexibility on my part with regard to this schedule. For 9-1/2 months out of the year, she was potentially going to have primary custody. It wasn’t too much to ask that for 2-1/2 months, I enjoy the same schedule.

Her reply:

LM,

I’m tired of your criticism. You moved 400 miles away from your children. You aren’t here to help out with the day to day stuff….at all. Don’t blame it on me. Anyone who keeps a file on their spouse the way you did deserves to get divorced. You moved to [home state] for LM, not for the kid’s future, who are you kidding. You are a sick sick person LM. I heard all the stuff you’ve told our friends and your family about my “alleged” mental illness and it just sickens me that you think people actually buy it. I’m telling you ONCE and for ALL to stop harrassing me or I will take legal action against you for harrassment. I am doing the best I can with the kids ALL BY MYSELF. There is nothing wrong with my state of mind except that I married a controlling, overbearing abusive abusive person. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

As for your schedule, NO….I want to go back to Custody Evaluations, Inc. because I have alot of things that I believe need to be addressed with regards to you and YOUR behavior. It’s already cost me over $20000.00, what’s another $5-10K.

STOP CRITICIZING ME…..THAT IS WHY I DIVORCED YOU!!

On another note, my “friend” [Kevin] is coming with me on Friday to keep me company on the long ride. Please extend the same courtesy to him that I extend to DW.

~PEW

Harassment? I offered a summer schedule. That’s it. “All the people I told” were perhaps maybe some in my family and at that point, I was still believing it was bipolar disorder. I hadn’t learned about borderline personality disorder until a few months from this time. The last thing I was doing was broadcasting it to anyone beyond that.

Notice her martyrdom, too. She hasn’t been doing anything with the kids “all by herself.” Further, the only reason she was having them more than I was… her fight for primary custody. Funny how that works. Spend tens-of-thousands of dollars to fight for primary custody and then cry “poor me” about having it.

All the rest of it - pure projection.

Back in January of 2005, I discussed our mutual disclosure of seeing people. She wasn’t specific, nor was I, until it was time for there to be interaction between the children and DW. At that point, I had disclosed the address and phone number so that she knew where I was taking the children at her rightful insistence.

My reply:

PEW,

I will absolutely extend you the same courtesy. Please be advised, that I would like the same courtesy from Kevin that DW extended you, including full name, address, and phone number. I believe I deserve the same courtesy in that regard in knowing who it is my children may be spending time with.

Thanks in advance.

As for Friday night… where are we meeting? I would like to plan our respective departures to minimize the downtime for either side. Also, if you would kindly pack whatever clothes you would like them to wear when they come home, I would greatly appreciate it.

~LM

It seemed a reasonable request.

LM,

The kids don’t go to Kevin’s house LM. He doesn’t spend the night here, we don’t spend the night at his place. I have class, I don’t just shack up with the first person that comes along. The reason I wanted DW’s name and Address is because you were taking them to her home 400 miles away. The phone number so that I could reach you in case of emergency. So no, you may not have that information. You LIVE with DW, I do not LIVE with Kevin. If you need to reach me in an emergency you have my parents phone #’s, my sister’s #, my brothers #’s.

We are meeting at [an exit 20 miles closer to PEW]. I have never gotten off there so I don’t know what is there yet. My estimated departure time is approx 6:30pm.

And like I said before….STOP HARRASSING ME PLEASE.

~PEW

There she goes again with the mindless harassment accusation. Interestingly, she is unwilling to disclose the information about her boyfriend as I was willing to disclose the same about my girlfriend. The disclosure was made before we were living together, I might add, and given as it was someone with whom the children would be interacting. Fairness doesn’t register with psychos, though. Additionally, more take-take-take. Rather than meet where we had previously arranged, she changed the location to a spot more convenient for her. Always remember that as you read these and future posts. Her concern about travel time with the children and me is only a concern when it’s not convenient for her. In this situation, we had a planned weekend getaway with all of the children.

As I was blind copying DW on all exchanges, DW chimes in to me only…

LM,

She harrassed you about my address and phone way before you were living here and before the boys even spent time here. Of course we know that’s a one way street.

She needs to be clear that if we have a set time it needs to be set. We will be leaving at 7 the next morning, I do not plan on getting in at midnight again, which could be later for us now considering the fact that we have further to drive. And if she is seriously concerned about her children, she should think of meeting us on Mon as well as we are driving 12 hours, 8 of it with her children.

DW

You also might want to make her aware that I read everything and she needs to make sure she doesn’t talk about me like that again. Not to mention stop harrassing you.

She’s correct. However, PEW doesn’t care.

The purpose of this post is to establish a time-line for PEW’s relationship escapades. She would later lie about this in court, not that anything would happen (and in reality - it really didn’t matter). In January of 2005, she informed me that she had been seeing someone since October (of 2004). I couldn’t tell you if it was Kevin all this time, but at this point, it’s April of 2005 and she’s disclosed a relationship again.  Later, she would say that by this time, she was only seeing Kevin “for three weeks.”  One would think that after all that bellyaching about the children meeting DW “way too soon” (at 6- or 7-months)… the kids meeting Kevin after 3-weeks would be an offense punishable by death!

I wanted to add some random details, observations, and interactions from yesterday’s conference and hearing experience.

The 2008 Tax Filing

Bulldog, PEW’s counsel, was overtly combative.  While I’m certain that it’s perhaps just part of her general nature, I’m also fairly safe in assuming that it’s combined with the stories PEW has told her.  She was indignant about having a “full copy” of my 2008 Tax Filing, which I came prepared to offer.  Of course, it matched my W-2.  There was no other income.  There simply wasn’t.  Bulldog wanted a copy and held my original on her side of the table in front of her after reviewing it…

Mister-M: (reaching across the table) “I would like to have my original tax filing back, thank you.”

Bulldog: (putting her hand over it) “No!  I’m going to need a copy of it and the conference officer can make us a copy.”

Mister-M: “I understand that.  I just wouldn’t want to see it get misplaced and I end up leaving without it, I’ll take that now, thank you.”

Bulldog: (picking it up and placing it at the end of the table between us and the conference officer) “No, we’ll just leave it here at the end of the table so that Gertrude can make us a copy of it.”

Mister-M: Picks it up from the end of the table without comment and places it back in his folder.

As I always do when I prepare for court, I had 4 copies of everything.  Bulldog seemed surprised that when she would ask for a copy of something, I’d simply slide it from my folder and offer her one.  The only thing I didn’t bring copies of was the 2008 Tax Filing.  At the end of the session, I pulled the Tax Filing from my folder and said to Gertrude, “Ms. Gertrude, would you kindly make a copy of this for Bulldog?  Thank you.” Gertrude made the copy, redacted all of the critical financial identifiers, and gave her a copy.

The Hidden Income Discussion

When it became clear that there was no documentation of any hidden income on my part and while Bulldog was dictating what numbers Gertrude should be putting into the system, I piped up…

Mister-M: “It would appear that you forgot to also include the rental income that PEW gets from her sister, Psycho-SIL.”

Bulldog: (stammers a touch) “Well, it isn’t much, but we have no problem including that, I… I just don’t think it’s going to make much of a difference.  She’s only contributed $2,350 dollars in payments since September 1st, 2008.  But, you know, much of that goes for food, and electric, and other utilities and things like that.”

As if any of the additional details matter.

Mister-M: (directed at PEW) “So, you’re claiming that PP has only paid you approximately $275/month in rent since she’s stayed with you?”

Bulldog: “Well, Psycho-SIL is moving out on June 1st and she’s been saving her money to get her own place and that’s how PEW has been helping her out.”

That’s what some scumbag attorneys are for… running bullshit interference on behalf of their client.  I thought bullshit-proof boots were enough.  Obviously, I should have brought waders.

Bulldog: “How much is your mortgage payment?”

Mister-M: “[A lot more than that]“

Bulldog: “Well then, we should also factor DW’s half of the mortgage payment as rental income for you!”

Mister-M: (openly laughs) “Uh, absolutely not and you know it, Bulldog.  DW hold title to that real estate and has a financial interest in it.  What she pays is not rental income and is a far cry from the situation between PEW and Psycho-SIL.”

Bulldog: (Silence).

Now… with my attorney back on board, I don’t expect the same result in calculations, obviously.  Further, the subpoenas will all be done properly, so we’re going to find out just how long Psycho-SIL has lived there.  It was longer than 7 months ago.  I hate that this is going to come at considerable expense, but the consequences of not doing this the proper way and with appropriate legal counsel (in the face of a 20-years experienced family law attorney) is significant.  I have no choice.  I don’t.

Idle Chit-Chat with HR Manager by PEW

As our time approached, we were the only ones in the waiting area.  And with that fake, typically sickeningly-sweet voice, she asked HRManager (who has never met PEW) incessant questions about nearly every single person who ever worked at the last place of employment.  PEW hasn’t worked there in over 10-years.  Very few people there liked her when her time to leave ended.  I felt bad for HRManager, who at one point, rolled her eyes at me.  Why?  It wasn’t chit-chat between friends, it was practically an interrogation.  Of course, HRManager felt obligated to answer every single question she posed.

She even asked in a nice way about people who openly dislike her, people who remain close friends of mine.  If I wasn’t scared shitless about what might happen at the hearing, I probably would have laughed.  Even people who were friends with her during her employ there got sick of her crap and haven’t spoken to her in a decade, yet… here she is asking questions of HRManager as if she’s close to these people.

The Phone Call

I wasn’t 10-minutes out of the proceeding when my phone rings.  Caller ID: PEW.  Message…

It’s PEW, Give me a call.  I figured we could talk and we can avoid the whole thing… this whole continuance in June or, uhhh… whatever hearings are coming down the road.  So, bye bye.

Yes, because negotiating with a terrorist has ever worked before.  She’s like a broken record.  Also, notice the language.  She’s tipped her hand.  “Whatever hearings are coming down the road…” That’s PEW-speak for “I’m filing for custody of the children.”

The Email

And arriving right on time, not 5-minutes before this is actually about to be posted, comes the email…

LM, I think you should give me a call to see if we can work this out.  I don’t want to be tied up in court again and I’m thinking you don’t either.  The recommendations of my attorney are for an increase in support and modification of custody and I’m torn about what I should do.  Call me.

The Psycho Ex-Wife is now on attorney #3.  My fantasy reply to her would be something along the lines of: “You’ve gotten bad advice from attorney’s before and when they find out the truth about you, they’re gone… ain’t nothing I can say that will stop you from doing it again.  Dumbass.  Everybody will lose… again!”

*IGNORE*

And that’s the truth of the matter.  Another attorney is whispering promises in her ear that she cannot possibly come through with, and I’m sure that we’re going to be looking at another round of custody hearings.  On what grounds?  That I lost a great job in an abysmal economy?  Oh, joy.