Attention-Seeking Behavior (Trouble is Brewing)
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I’m sure any number of people, readers or otherwise, have experienced “attention-seeking behavior” from their psycho ex-wife or psycho ex-husband or psycho ex-partner… relative, friend… etc.
Last night came a prime example of just such behavior. It came in the form of a series of rapid-fire text messages, none of which I responded to, despite the overwhelming sense of curiosity.
PEW Text Message 8:48PM - I could surely use ur help now.
PEW Text Message 8:52PM - Im in trouble.
PEW Text Message 8:55PM - I need ur help.
PEW Text Message 8:58PM - U cant help me because of DW can u?
PEW Text Message 9:02PM - Its ok, i understand.
PEW Text Message 9:06PM - Im sure u will both have a good laugh about how fucked i am.
PEW Text Message 9:14PM - Enjoy.
Attention-seeking behavior. Now, I can barely begin to speculate as to what the nature of this problem is. All I know is that if it were as serious as she would like to make it sound - she would have communicated what it was. She didn’t. Therefore, this reeks of simply wanting my attention.
Does this sound a bit on the narcissistic side? Sure it does. It’s not. You’re seeking the help of the person who allegedly “destroyed” your life. The person who allegedly abused you, mentally, physically, emotionally in systematic fashion. The person who made your life hell.
All I can tell you is that if I were in serious trouble and was seeking the assistance of anyone, let alone life’s mortal enemy - I would say, Holy crap, I’m in trouble - [THIS] happened! Call me as soon as you can!
Each of those text messages can be translated to: Call me. I need your attention. My not telling you what the issue is while delivering the news in typically Drama-Queen fashion should ensure you contact me.
Sorry. Didn’t work.
Now, I have no idea what the possible problem is. I’ve speculated that she has been fired from her job… in which case, she’s very likely in a world of trouble (financially). This, despite being told by the boys that PP, the diagnosed bipolar alcoholic ex sister-in-law, has moved into the house with them… again.
As much as I would like to know right now what this alleged serious trouble is - I am not going to call, text, or email her. I will find out eventually. Whatever it is, I’m fairly certain that it will affect me & DW and even more likely - the children - in some way that will negatively impact our lives.
All I really care about at this very moment is - whatever the trouble may be - the children are with me until Sunday.
Stay tuned…
July 15th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Thank GOD the kids are with you until Sunday.
Whatever “trouble” there may be hopefully will have blown over by then.
I guess I’m amazed that she still thinks that her “troubles” are your issues.
Best wishes.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I had a boyfriend that used to pull this stunt after I broke up with him.At first I would give into his ploy and afterwards regret, regret, REGRET having responded!
Eventually I knew what he was doing and ignored the “calls for help,” which occured pretty much on a weekly basis.
He would also accuse my significant other, at the time, of being the reason I wasn’t allowed to respond to his pleas. He would even call him and leave threatening messages on his voicemail telling him it wasn’t his place to keep me from contacting him in his time of need. (what a girl!) Luckily my boyfriend at the time was well grounded and just rolled his eyes and deleted the messages. Great self-control.
Eventually my ex stopped…and I’ve never heard from him again.
I hope PEW’s drama doesn’t impact your family. I hope that she is “crying wolf.” for your family’s sake. I think in some freakish, twisted way she thinks of you as her property. What a nut.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
More often than not… regardless of what the issues are… the “collateral damage” means that they end up becoming “my issues” in whole or in part.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Yup. You have a good point.
Collateral damage because it affects the children and therefore, affects you.
Let’s hope that it was a non issue and she was just really lonely or had a fight with her sister and needed your sage advice.
Crossing my fingers….
July 15th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
What I find interesting is that you can see the drama unfolding in her brain before you have even become involved. In the span of 18 minutes, during which you could have been sleeping, out for walk, or for some other reason not near your phone, she has already assumed:
1) DW has told you not to help her.
2) You aren’t helping her.
3) And the two of you are laughing at her.
Not paranoid or anything.
It is as if she has had another whole drama in her head, with out you even interacting with her at all. She has already worked herself up to be pissed off and you have taken no action whatsoever.
Say you got back from your walk around 9:10. Even if you were to call her back to help, she would already be pissed at you because in her mind an “alternate reality” drama has already unfolded.
I agree, it is much easier to ignore this stuff when the kids are with you, but when they are with our BM our natural instinct is to image all the worst things that could be going on with the kids. That’s the hardest part.
Hopefully the original crisis that sparked the call was all in her head too!
July 16th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Dragon… in addition to the amazing insight you’ve offered on this particular issue - you left out one important part…
She processed all of those wildass thoughts without ever telling me what the problem is!
Even if I were inclined to be doing any of those things she’s assumed… how the hell could I without knowing if the trouble she is in is that she killed somebody… or she hit the lottery for 50-million dollars and had no idea how to invest it?
Good criminy!
I know what the problem is… and it’s not good. Tomorrow’s post awaits…
July 16th, 2008 at 1:21 am
OMG - the suspense is killing me! :o)
July 17th, 2008 at 1:09 am
Attention-seeking….like stalking my blog and leaving comments immediately beneath mine on other blogs or other message boards I visit?
Pathetic much?