The Psycho Ex Wife

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Yes. That’s what S1 said to his mother after witnessing yet another fight between the two of them. This nasty debate really gives more insight into the level of disgusting behavior on the part of her family. Worse - she defends it - always did - to the bitter end. PEW still does this today. If I heard her use the good things that they do as an excuse to disregard the horrible things that they do 1-time… I’ve heard it dozens of times and it never got any less confounding.

I’ll remind you that the spinster, “Aunt PP,” is very unlikely to ever get married. She can barely keep a meaningful relationship with herself, God forbid anyone lose their senses (like I did) and actually marry into this family. She likes to live her “maternal instincts“ vicariously as a surrogate parent to our children and does so with PEW’s blessing because - she can’t seem to handle the kids alone. It’s a family effort, much to my ongoing dismay.

I was pretty angry during this one and really pull no punches when it comes to describing her family’s behavior and how I feel about it. I had originally thought about titling this one: When Psycho Sisters Attack 2!!! This one is from February 2004.

PEW: busy?
LM: hi, sup?
PEW: well ….me and my sister had an argument. i can’t call you because I don’t want S1 to hear
LM: Oh dear. Okay
PEW: first….
LM: I’ll watch. And reply as I can.
PEW: let me just say….i was in a bad mood to begin with because of work last night…. and I have PMS…..
LM: Did this happen in front of the kids?
PEW: i’ll get to that
LM: ok
PEW: we’re driving to LA fitness….and i have to call [neighbor] because we’re having lunch together today….. so …..I’m talking to [neighbor] and PP is in the background the whole time going….”GET OFF THE PHONE”…..”WE’RE going to be late”"” then she’s like…..you shouldn’t talk to the phone while you’re driving…blah blah blah…..we’re going to be late….blah blah blah…..you’re going to mess up [Trainer's] schedule….blah blah blah…. and I don’t say anything….. we get there……put the kids in the Kid Club…..and go work out with [Trainer]…we were 3 minutes late….. hold on a sec….
LM: k
PEW: ok so anyway…. we worked out with the waits and moved on to the cardio….. and then a page comes over the speaker…..”Will PEW, the mother of S1 please come to the kids club”….. so I stop the machine…..and start walking there…… and she stops hers too….and I’m like…it’s ok, don’t stop….i’ll be back i’m sure it’s fine…. but she stops too and practically races down to the Kid’s club before I even get there… I walk in and the girl says…there was a fight over a ball…. and there was ear pulling and biting…..
LM: I have a bad feeling about where this story is going.

Really? It’s not that hard to figure out. Any story that involves her and her psycho sister, you can bet your ass that it is going to end with at least psycho-SIL doing something completely inappropriate.

PEW: and I’m trying to figure out….who it was…S1 and S2…. S1 and some other kid….. I knew it involved S1 because when I walked in he covered his face…. so I’m asking question…..and PP is asking questions. so she says that it was S1 and another big kid……the kid had the ball….S1 tried to take it….the kid pulled his ear and S1 bit him…..
LM: k
PEW: so I said…..”S1, biting is unacceptable….never”….. I said “you won’t come back here”……. and my sister starts with…… at the lady “How could this happen”……
LM: I knew it.
PEW: “Look at his ear”…..
LM: That’s just where I thought this was going.
PEW: “we’re gonna have to take him to the Doctors”….. “where is the other kid’s Mom” and I’m like……”Did the bite break the skin” the lady says “no”….she said there was barely a mark. I tell the lady….”He’s fine”‘……. I re-iterate that biting is unacceptable…… the lady calls me over and says……that the other kid is a real brat and that S1 was very good….. so I go over to S1 and tell him that she said he was really good…. but biting is dangerous….germs get passed from person to person that way…. he says “I hate you Mommy”….. we leave…..but of course the whole entire time…..my sister is blah blah blah blah blah …fucking never shutting up….. we get to the car…..and I say……I’m going straight home….I don’t want to go to the library….I’m annoyed…. she’s like “At Me?” I say….”yes at you”….. I said first of all they said…..”PEW, mother of S1″….
LM: lol
PEW: is that you?….No, you’re not PEW, and you’re not his mother. so you should have kept your yap shut…. I could barely get the facts of what happened with all your yacking. she starts yelling…..and I say….stop yelling PP or I’ll pull this car over and you’re getting out and you can walk home…. i don’t need you going nuts in front of the kids…. she says…..I hope LM leave you….fat sal…..psycho. so we get to her house and she gets out
LM: Right there, I pull over and let her out.
PEW: and then S1 says to me….Aunt PP is right….you are a psycho. we were already in her developement

For a fleeting moment, I thought she really stood up for herself and did something demonstrative! “Already in her development” took the wind right out of that sail. It’s funny because she makes it sound SO dramatic. She lived in a freaking apartment complex, which means the “punishment” was she may have had to walk a few hundred yards to her building at most. OooooooooooooooooOooooo!!! That’ll teach her!

PEW: but I was like….well you’re still fat and you had 2 gastric bypasses
LM: oh geeze
PEW: I’ve had two kids….and quit smoking after 10 years. she got out. the end. so since the members
hips are in her name….i guess i won’t be going back

This is all taking place with our two youngsters right there in the back seat at 6 and 3 years of age. Is it any wonder why they act up in their company?

LM: Then get your own membership. Insurance reimburses all or part of it.
PEW: oh
LM: Don’t stop now if you enjoy it. CALL the insurance company
PEW: i will
LM: And at the risk of pissing you off… is there any point in your lifetime where you are simply going to cut off your sister? Any point at all? Let me ask you…
PEW: probably not
LM: Exactly when was the last time she brought any joy or happiness to your life? Not since I’ve known you. Seriously. I can’t think of one time. Not one. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times… (your husband aside)…
PEW: i know….but she’s my sister

With sisters like that…

LM: You NEED to eliminate unnecessary stress from your life. You NEED to. YOU NEED TO.
PEW: it’s a relationship i’ve always had…..and it’s not all bad
LM: Interaction with your sister… causes you NOTHING but grief since I’ve known you.
PEW: well she needs to learn boundaries
LM: And should be kept to a minimum. She can’t. She’s incapable. And your allowing her to continue to ruin parts of your life… is unacceptable. It’s “Big PP’ish”
PEW: lol
LM: I’m serious. You take more stressful jobs. You hang out too much with your sister.
PEW: i don’t know LM……sometimes, she’s kind of normal and she’s my big sister
LM: stress stress stress stress stress
PEW: and she acts like a big sister
LM: PEW. She acts like a fucking asshole.
PEW: other times…..she’s crazy PP. lol
LM: And she does so most of the time. Please, stop living in denial. She’s a selfish, manipulative, hurtful bitch. And more often than not, she brings you down. And you just keep on welcoming it.
PEW: i can’t wait to talk to my mom. i’m sure she’ll be against me….
LM: Which will do nothing more than add more stress, because she’ll defend PP… so why bother?
PEW: because I reprimanded S1 for biting
LM: Because you welcome stress. You think I’m screwing around. But I’m not.
PEW: no i don’t
LM: It’s tiresome to watch you repeat these things over and over and over and fucking over again. You get burned up. Then I get burned up.
PEW: i wish i could cry…..i need a good cry
LM: Great. And you’ll be calling your asshole sister in two days. Wonderful.

The reason is, as I’ve mentioned many other times, because she has me to beat on when it all gets too overwhelming. She rarely would take people to task for doing her wrong or taking advantage of her. She would save all of her rage up and then unleash it on me (or the kids).

PEW: i gotta go shower…..
LM: good luck.
PEW: i’m having lunch next door. bye. please don’t yell at S1 about the biting ok?
LM: Nope.
PEW: i already handled it
LM: You took care of it. We should have a sit-down… about his fresh mouth, though. I’m going to start ratcheting-up the sanctions… This bullshit has to stop.
PEW: we will
LM: And your sister and father are primary problems. I had to deal with “shitface” all night last night again, too. This is ridiculous
PEW: put soap in his mouth
LM: I’d like to put soap in your father’s mouth.

Did you get that? Her father is deliberately teaching our children foul language. So what does she suggest when they repeat it? Wash the childrens’ mouths out with soap. How screwed-up is that? Read on as she lays out her defense of this sick bastard…

PEW: i know…..but in defense of him……it is part of who he is….
LM: And I’m putting the ki-bash on “in the bedroom stories with EE” - Don’t. Please don’t.
PEW: and my aunts and uncles and grandfather were the same way…
LM: I don’t need him teaching those “parts of who he is” to our kids. It’s inexcusable.

Was she expecting me to say, “Ohhhhhhhhhhh, okay! I simply didn’t understand that this was all part of your long family history. How silly of me to take exception of that! My mistake.” Her explanation really does detail the depth of depravity of the parents of the children that preceded her and this is what I have had to deal with almost from the time S1 popped from the birth canal.

PEW: and we knew better than to repeat it. ok, don’t blow it out of proport
ion
LM: Blow it out of proportion?
PEW: he doesn’t always do it
LM: It’s been going on for the better part of 6 years now.
PEW: he slips up occasionally. he has really made an effort
LM: whatever
PEW: don’t get me started…..all of your brothers have used the F word in front of the kids
LM: It’s nice to know that the worst part of our kids language has been taught them by their grandfather.
PEW: that’s worse than shitface
LM: Please.
PEW: LM…..
LM: They have not. They don’t teach them fresh mouth songs and fresh mouth stories. It’s a conscious effort on your father’s part.

The regular readers have seen this before. When confronted with the horrifying behavior of her family, especially towards the children, tell me my family does the same or similar stuff - even though the reality is that they never did any such thing! She just makes it up to make herself feel better so she can keep this weird ideal about her own parents safe in her childlike mind. Even if my family was doing something even remotely close - it just doesn’t matter! It’s sheer insanity.

What’s completely confounding is her claim that they “knew better than to repeat” the abusive behavior. Even my incessant complaining about the name-calling, foul language teaching, tickling the kids to the point of throwing-up (and similar) didn’t seem to indicate to her that they most certainly did not learn to avoid perpetuating such behaviors.

PEW: what fresh mouth songs. what fresh mouth stories
LM: Do I need to go back to “cuckoo I’m a shitbrid?”
PEW: that was 3 years ago
LM: They got “shitface” from one of his great stories from what they said.
PEW: and he stopped that. don’t start attacking my Dad ok….. deal with it
LM: Well, forgive me for being pissed that we now have to deprogram shitface.
PEW: ok
LM: And Lord knows what they’ll remember from today’s incident with your sister. My son is calling his mom a psycho. Great.
PEW: jthis is life LM…..people argue. people curse. you need to move on
LM: Overhearing slip ups in adult conversation is one thing.
PEW: and a word of advice for you……get off my dad
LM: Tell children stories and songs with curse words in them is different.
PEW: they love him….they love speinding time with him. name a song….
LM: I did already
PEW: you don’t know what you’re talking about. what sone?? what SONG?
LM: Wasn’t Cuckoo I’m A Shitbird a classic hit from EE?
PEW: no it wasn’t
LM: Oh.
PEW: that’s not a song
LM: my mistake. Sorry.
PEW: you don’t even know what you’re talking about
LM: I thought it was a song.
PEW: you just want to bitch about my dad
LM: Cuz they sing it. No I don’t.
PEW: no it’s not a song. no they don’t. they haven’t said that
LM: If they weren’t saying SHITFACE, I’d have nothing to say about it.
PEW: S2 has not said Cuckoo Shitbird. you’re unbelievable
LM: No I’m not.
PEW: yeah…you are
LM: No, I’m not.

Again with the denial. She’s actually arguing that “it’s not a song.” I guess the “lyrics” that Grandpop was teaching the kids didn’t show up on a Google search, therefore it’s actually a song. I guess videotaping them dancing like they were having epileptic seizures while singing, “Cuckoo, I’m a shitbird” and calling each other “shithead” wouldn’t have convinced her, either. Of course, I’m also supposed to punish the children that they are doing this while excusing her father’s behavior due to the abuse he suffered as a child and his father before him suffered as a child. Brilliant logic.

She wonders why her son is calling her a Psycho? Even with everything that has happened, she still can’t see it’s because of her family calling the children psycho, calling each other psycho, and a whole host of other horrible names on a regular basis.

PEW: i don’t need this shit from you
LM: I don’t appreciate having to deal with non-accidental expletives.
PEW: i really really don’t
LM: No kidding.
PEW: my dad….spends lots of time with the kids……telling appropriate stories…..fishing with them…crabbing with them….
LM: Why do you always do this?
PEW: reading books…..playing…tickling…. because you’re so negative
LM: I’m not saying that your dad doesn’t do those things… Doesn’t love the kids… Kids don’t love him.
PEW: you always focus on the teeny tiny negative
LM: I wish the bullshit language would stop.
PEW: that’s why you and I are always hanging by a thread
LM: You excuse bad things like that because he’s “great.”
PEW: yeah, he is……he is Great…….and I don’t want to hear about it anymore today
LM: You got it.
PEW: you don’t have to see my dad
LM: I know he’s “great” with the kids. I love it. I’m allowed to be mad about shitface. Sorry if that bothers you.
PEW: the guy sets up fishing rods so the kids can cast off the back deck in October……
LM: Why are you telling me this?
PEW: sits in the truck with them pretending to drive….
LM: I KNOW. I AGREE.
PEW: i don’t think so
LM: He still taught them shitface and that upset me.

Frankly, I wish that they would all just vanish off of the face of the earth.