I Love You, You Are a Good Father

The deteriorating circumstances and PEW's knee-jerk actions started to put some planned things at risk. The risk was for her, not me. She lied about informing her family of our pending break-up and she told me she wasn't going to go on our planned trip to Disney. I also was not going to attend her brother's wedding. I would have no problem going to Orlando without her and given that she had told me that the family was outraged over the situation, I certainly wasn't going to be in their company during a wedding of all events.


PEW: i suppose i'm not invited to Orlando anymore
LM: hang on. I thought you had already said you don't want to go?
PEW: well I had told PP I was going.......but it's fine........ maybe I'll take them to the shore for a week. PP said depending on their snow days, they may not be able to go
LM: Yeah, I figured as much. And something tells me that we haven't seen the last of snow days.
PEW: i hope so. so are you going to be in my brother's wedding?
LM: I don't think so. I'm guessing that based on your discussions with your family, I'm not anyone's favorite person anymore, plus, I'd just as soon save whatever money I can, because this whole mess is going to cost money. So, you and S1 can go have a good time, I'll stay home with S2 and mind my own business.
PEW: S1 wasn't invited.....because we asked [brother] not to have him in it, remember?
LM: Oh. Then you go have a good time, and I'll watch the kids.
PEW: plus...my brothers don't know anything yet
LM: They will now.


Ah, so all of the dramatics associated with her telling me how upset her family is was false. No surprise there.


PEW: are you really planning on filing?
LM: Yes I am. But first, I am going to make an appointment to go see that doctor. I don't know what I'll get from it, but I am going to see him. And if you don't go after that... you will have left me with no choice.
PEW: well i wish you would reconsider......


Really? After all of the heartache and chaos and whining over how long she's been asking for a divorce? I finally get fed up enough to move in that direction and now she wants to reconsider? My guess is had I moved on my feelings at this point, it would have scuttled her plans (my perception) to set herself up as best she can to saddle me with as much debt as she had time to make while siphoning off cash at the same time.


LM: I'm sorry, PEW. I will not. You think I'm just being mean and stuff like that. But I'm not. For our entire marriage, I've lived with your threats of divorce, among other things... but the "DIVORCE" threats are the worst. I can't live like that anymore. You've left 3 times. You threaten me every time we have a disagreement. I can't do it anymore. And I'm very sorry about that.
PEW: well I said i'd see a counselor about that....... I'm sorry, I know it is bad........but S1 knows something is going on and it's killing me....... he wants us to be a "family"......
LM: Well, time will tell. I told you what I believed we need to do to save things. I also told you that I am not so naive to believe that my concerns are "etched in stone" as accurate. I am also open-minded enough to know that my concerns may end up being completely unfounded. But the only thing I can do to save things is see this guy. And find out. One way or the other.

So... the smart thing to do is just let me follow up with this doctor, and go from there. I can continue to be nice around the house... without question. But I won't be arguing, I won't be debating. But I can't impress upon you enough... that this is the "last chance." Not for you... for US.
PEW: well I appreciate how you feel because I feel the same way, but with regard to you going to this Doctor, I think it's unusual that someone would go....fill the doctor's head with "their" opinions and then send someone else in their to be evaluated
LM: I understand your concerns. Unfortunately, I can't do anything to change the situation as it currently exists. And unfortunately, while this is going to be a potentially difficult undertaking... this is the way it has to be. Unless you choose not to have it be that way. Which is always your right.

Certainly, given the way you feel about me... it is asking you to go way out on a limb and expect you to trust that I have the saving of my marriage.... as the main priority in doing this, and you are going to have to invest a lot of trust in me that it is the truth. But if you don't want to, I will NOT give you a hard time about it. You know where I stand in terms of going forward with this. And the choice to do it is completely yours.
PEW: well I wish we could save our marriage too, but I think I know myself pretty well......I am a different person than I was when we started out together.....alot has happened between us.....I know I still need to change some things, but I don't need a Psychiatrist, sorry.....I feel like it's a put down, straight from you
LM: Okay.


Oh, but of course! Nothing is ever her fault. Nothing could possibly be wrong with her. It's always her spouse, her boss, her co-worker, her friend... never PEW.


PEW: my feelings for you are this......I love you, you are a good father, I know your faithful, but there are certain aspects of your personality that I can not get used to........although I continue to make a strong effort to deal with situations as they arise....sometimes I lose it. that needs to be addressed. i wish we could come to an agreement that was acceptable to both of us. but I understand where you're coming from too
LM: ok. On a side note... I am selling [my] car to [original owner]. As I don't know what to do at this point for transportation ...obviously, some adjustments are going to need to be made. I'm guessing some days I'll need to be dropped off/picked-up ...others, my lunch will consist of dropping off S1 at school, and picking him up.
PEW: ok


What a load of bunk. She never made a strong effort at anything except belittling, abusing, and demoralizing. She also has no idea what "love" is and probably never has.

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