PAS: JBB Needs Help

We're looking for advice, suggestions, anything that may help.

Here is the situation: PEW was caught in the act of an affair, by her ex-husband on one occasion, and by the then-10-year-old son on another. She is embarrassed, and wants to blame the divorce on something else. Here are some of the different lies she has told:

1. Her lover had drugged her. Problem: she changed her story of which drug was used, and ultimately claimed he had used "roofies", even though she was quite awake and alert on both occasions when she was caught. Oh, and in true BPD or NPD style, she somehow made that her ex-husband’s fault for "not protecting her from and evil man who gave her drugs."

2. That the Dad molested the then-4 year old daughter. Problem: nobody else corroborates this story, the PEW identifies one single incident of "molestation," which happened when the Dad was applying chigger-bite medicine, and PEW herself never mentioned this incident until three years later, after she was caught in bed with another man, and found herself going through a divorce. PEW is also very careful never to tell this particular lie in front of the now-10 year old daughter, who of course, has no memory of any "molestation" because none took place.

3. That the Dad had in his possession nasty pictures of the Mom's grown daughter from her first marriage. Problem: this daughter -- Dad's step-daughter -- has a porn website, pole dances for a living, is a drug abuser, and admitted, while under the influence of alcohol, that she was the one who had planted the pictures in her step-Dad's briefbag because she was angry with him for not making her car payment for her, and her car had gotten re-possessed as a result. As you can see, this paragon of womanhood is a chip right off the old PEW block.

4. That the Dad had taken "nasty" pictures of a group of middle school girls while chaperoning a field trip. Problem: PEW can only produce one picture, of a girl bending over, which happened only because of the flash delay on the camera; the ex-husband had already deleted this picture from his computer, not because he considered it "nasty," but because it was it was poor photography. PEW found it in the "delete folder" on the ex-husband’s computer, and now shows this picture to everyone, acts all horrified at how "nasty" it is, and tells folks it was taken by her perverted nasty horrible pedophile evil ex-husband, and that there are many others that are even worse – that they are so bad she cannot even show them to anyone. Yeah, right. Here’s a medal for your self-restraint.

This woman spends all day, every day, calling her neighbors, people in her church, people at her children's schools, family members, anyone, everyone, and telling them over and over again that her ex-husband is an evil pedophile. She even went to his new neighborhood (20 miles away), and knocked on every door, introduced herself, and told the people there her allegations. Problem: he was examined by two court-appointed psychiatrists, including a phallometric exam, that cleared him off all charges. In fact, one of the psychiatrists was also ordered by the court to examine HER, and found that she was so psychotic that he recommended that she be medicated and put under a minimum of weekly psychiatric evaluation. This psychiatrist also recommended that custody be given to the Dad, and that PEW be supervised whenever she was in the presence of the kids. The judge was never given the opportunity to rule on these recommendations, however, because PEW was going so nuts at the time that the Dad chose to settle case without going to trial, in an ill-advised attempt to end the insanity – his attorney asserted that the PEW would "settle down" once the divorce was finalized, and the Dad believed that. In addition, PEW has reported the Dad to Family Protective Services so many times, and they have investigated and cleared him so many times, that they threatened PEW with charges of making a false report if she came back to them. Of course, she now tells everyone that the Dad has "bought FPS off". Just like he supposedly bought off the two psychiatrists.

The parents have joint custody, and the kids spend about 50% of their time with each parent. The kids cannot bring their friends over to Mom's house, because whenever they do, she immediately collars the friend and spends the next 1-2 hours (yes, you read that right) haranguing the poor kid and telling them what an evil person their friend's Dad is. When the Dad was going to throw a birthday party for one of the kids, the Mom called every parent of every kid in both neighborhoods, the school, and church, and told them not to allow their kid to attend the party "with that evil man" (even though he wasn't even going to be there... because the party was being hosted by two other adult friends and relatives who were sensitive to the issues). Every day when the kids get home from school, they get a one-hour lecture on how evil their father is. If they are coming home after spending any time with their Dad, then it's a 2-3 hour raging/screaming/carrying-on rampage about how evil their father is.

The divorce has been finalized for nearly two years now, and pretty much everyone believed (and told the Dad) that the Mom would settle down and back off of all the crazy accusations, once the property settlement and custody stuff were finalized (oh, and it’s a total travesty that this crazy psycho got almost 80% of the marital assets when SHE was the one who caused the whole thing because she couldn’t keep her legs together… but the Dad basically caved in on everything, believing that he was doing the right thing for his kids). Well, she hasn't. She continues to escalate it.

Keep in mind that there is a H-U-G-E Mother-bias in Texas courts, especially in the rural counties (which this one is); so it is quite unlikely that this Dad could actually win sole custody of his kids… he is very reluctant to attempt any mods to the custody order, because it will most likely be a situation that will put the kids through absolute hell and then they will end up exactly where they are right now. Prior to the separation, PEW openly threatened the Dad on several occasion (in front of the kids, too) that she would kill him if he ever tried to get custody. She has also beaten and scratched him during her rages (prior to him moving out). This of course concerns me for the children’s sake, too, because it seems highly probable that she will someday escalate her abuse of them to a physical point as well. Sadly, when he first moved out of the home to protect himself, he wanted to take the kids with him for their protection, and was advised that if he did, she could easily accuse him of “kidnapping”, and then he would not have a chance in hell of even getting joint custody.

It seems this PEW will fight forever to protect her image. Which means, despite reasonable predictions to the contrary, she will probably NEVER let this thing go. No matter where they move to, or what develops, she will always make it her mission to go around knocking on doors and presenting her lopsided side of the story in
the court of public opinion. It is ruining her children's lives.

Suggestions, inputs, thoughts, observations, help? Any feedback would be so very very appreciated. I feel so helpless, standing by and watching this family live with this insanity. I'd be willing to consider anyone's point of view on the situation.

Thanks so much in advance,
JBB

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