PAS: He Set Out To Poison My Mind

My parents divorced when I was 9. Even then, I was hoping to have equal time with them. However, my dad was a heavy drinker and set out to poison my mind against my mom.

Worn down by his bully tactics and violent threats, she gave up custody to him. Even though my mom had visitation with me, I was primed to be his spy on everything that she did. From shopping, to phone calls and with whom she was speaking, how clean the house was, what she did (or didn't) buy for me and herself. It was awful

After years of this, I pretty much believed everything he told me about her. None of it was true. Of course, I was in no position to realize it at the time because the alienation was such a pervasive part of our "broken family dynamic." I didn't see her for many years after a while. I was convinced mom didn't want me. It also didn't help that he would threaten suicide if I "left" him. How horrible to put that on a young boy.

As things progressed through my teens, I began to realize something was amiss. Ultimately, I reunited with my mom, but my experience forever altered the way we related. The damage was deep. Therapy helped a lot and still continues today in my 20s. How sad that I still discover new truths even after my mom's recent untimely death.

I feel horrible for the parents who experience these types of situations. I feel even more deeply for the children.

~Jeff

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