PAS: False Allegations

I wish I was making this up. It will sound like I am.

The psycho ex-wife in my case is my significant other's ex-wife. They have 4 kids, ages 1-1/2 to 9, and when she decided to end the marriage, she simply took the kids, went to her parents', and told my SO she was spending a few days there. She never came back, and she had her father call my SO to inform him of the divorce.

She told the kids that my SO, "Luke," left her because she's fat. When Luke and I met, long after the divorce and custody hearings were in motion, she told the kids Luke actually left to be with me, that I broke up their marriage, and that if it wasn't for me, they could get back together.

That was mild compared to things she did next. She had claimed in court that Luke abused her, so she took the oldest child to a psychologist to make him "remember" that Daddy beat Mommy. Never mind it never happened. Never mind the horrifying damage being done to a child's mind.

She lied to the parenting evaluator, continuing the "he's a drunk and a wife beater" lies. She called DCF and filed false reports against Luke and me, then used the false reports (which were concluded as unfounded) to limit Luke's time with the kids.

Luke went 2-months without seeing the kids at all. When he was finally able to see them again, the psycho-ex told the kids that their father was trying to keep them from seeing her, that he would take them and not come back. She told them she couldn't stand it when they weren't with her, making them feel guilty for spending time with their father. When he ran out of money and couldn't come for some weekday visits, she told the kids that if their father loved them, he would be there. She also told them that the reason he wasn't coming was so he could take me out to dinner.

When her lies didn't work as well as she hoped, she just lied some more. She told the kids she wanted to get back with their father, but I wouldn't allow it. She told them their father and I would get married, and when we have kids, we would love those kids more than them and not want to see them anymore.

How do we know all this? Because the kids love us and trust us, despite that pathetic woman's attempts to make them hate us. They tell us what she says. They tell us when they hear something that bothers them or scares them. I'm grateful that their relationship with their father is so strong and that they trust me enough too to talk to us about what their mother does, so we can deflect much of the lies and hurtful messages.

A lot of damage has already been done. The kids don't trust her, and they have valid reasons not to; but not being able to trust a parent is scary for them. They are terrified to go back to her after their weekends with us, and their mother can tell herself all the lies she wants to; it doesn't change the fact she is a rotten mother who cares only about herself.

~Kat

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