PAS: Didn't Get To See His Kids For 1-Year

Hello,

I wanted to send a quick thank you for putting this site up, as it has shown me that we are not alone.

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 2.5 years, and when I met him he had warned me that his ex was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I figured with all of my understanding of a mental disorder, that it could not be that bad. Boy was I wrong.

My boyfriend and I met after they were broken up, and the first year of us dating I saw some crazy stuff with her scaring the kids that if they eat too much sugar that they will get diabetes to watching t.v. will make you go blind, and list goes on. I met his kids whom were 2 and 4 at the time roughly 3 months after us dating. My boyfriend had dated before, however I was the first women to meet his kids, as he did not want a rotating door of women meeting his children unless he knew he could see it as a long term relationship. In the first year of us dating, I was aware of at least 5-6 men that had met the children and were either living in the house with there mom or spending quite a lot of time there. We noticed some strange behavior with the children of being naked all the time. Until later, we found out that her oldest son (not my boyfriend's son), was removed from the house hold for sexually molesting a younger cousin. The ex at this time, made phone calls to my boyfriend indicating that they girls next door to his house were making sexual advance to their boys. OK, these girls are 3 and 4! Let alone that when the girls were over, either myself, my boyfriend or their parents did not leave them alone for more than 10 minutes without double checking on them.

You may ask, why my boyfriend did not report this? Well he tried however the ex never signed the court papers giving him joint legal custody. She agreed kept adding more amendments, such as he is not allowed to let the children watch more than 20 minutes of t.v. at a time, he is not allowed to have any alcoholic beverages at anytime during the weekends with the children or 48 hours prior to picking up the children. The list goes on, and on. I could understand if my boyfriend was an alcoholic or drank to much, this is not the case. In any case, it took another year for the court papers that she originally agreed to 3 years prior to be signed, giving my boyfriend joint legal custody.

However, by that time she accused my boyfriend and I of doing drugs. OK, that is seriously the most ludicrous thing I have ever been accused of. Let's put it this way, I have two college degrees, volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, was a nanny for 2 years, a camp counselor for 3 years and am an Interactive Creative Director for a large marketing company. She can not even hold a full time job, as it causes too much stress. I can't even believe that I have to defend ourselves on such asinine allegations! I finally have realized why these allegations came down, or perhaps trying to come up with an solution in my head. She realized that my relationship with my boyfriend and her kids were not going away and that is her only recourse as my boyfriend is sticking up for himself and I am now deemed the bad person (very similar to your entries of the blogs). I can finally say that I contacted my lawyer, and he did send off a letter to her lawyer that if she continues on these attacks that I would sue her for deformation of character. However, the next time with my boyfriend's lawyer and my lawyer they basically indicated get some tough skin. These are allegations, and just allegations (very similar to the Clemens' case currently going on).

In any case, we are not at the point of filling her in contempt of court for not allowing my boyfriend on seeing his kids for the past year, yes that is one year. He has proven documentation from certified letters on when he was going to pick up the kids, to never returned phone calls as if she was above the court of law. His lawyer indicated that this was one of the only routes to go, as he said/she said does not stand up in court, only documentation from a third party. So, now she has filed a counter and another counter motion stating that I am not allowed to be around the children and if I am that I need to submit to random drug testing (I say go ahead and submit me to random drug testing, I have nothing to hide - however I should not have too). My boyfriend needs to go to anger management classes (ok, this man is the biggest teddy bear), and submit to random drug and alcohol testing. He also needs to go to a co-parenting class, which he has already done, but she wants another one done. She is demanding all of these, these are not a court order these are just here psycho allegations!

At this time now we are going to mediation, for what? It is already a court order that he is suppose to see the kids every other weekend and the only thing is under issues are the holidays. Well, if he can not even see his kids, what does that mean?

She now is allowing the kids to call, as before she never allowed it and she is recording every phone call and telling them what to say...

I am trying to keep my head high, and not let this stress me down as my boyfriend is doing too. He has apologized to me on numerous occasion on how crazy she is. My only concern is about the kids, and what kind of environment that they must have to live with, with such a mentally unstable mother. I will never replace their mother, nor do I want to but I am just another person who cares about the welfare of these children.

I wanted to say thank you for having this website as it allows my boyfriend and I know that we are not alone in the craziness from the court system to the PSYCHO EX!

Thanks!

A.

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