Cutting Class to Stay Home - Wrong Choice

Of course, do I ever make the right choice? Is there a right choice when you're dealing with a PEW?

By December of 2004, I had been taking between one and three college classes a semester. I started in 1995. In 10-years, folks... in 10-years, I had never missed or skipped a class.

12/4/2002 would be the first time. I was taking a computer programming class that had been extremely challenging. It didn't help that we were working on a group project and as much trouble as I was having, I was the best in our group. I assure you that this isn't saying very much.

I wasn't ready for the night's quiz, so I figured I'd blow it off, spend my evening reviewing, and then go up to the campus the following night to take the quiz. I had already spoken to my professor about the plan (absent the "I'm not really sick" part) and he was okay with it.


PEW: What time school?
LM: Probably 6:30ish, I could go later... till I finish failing the quiz. I'm afraid. I'd rather study up for a day or two and take it later. It was a very complex quiz.
PEW: great
LM: :-D
PEW: you should have just went last night
LM: Actually, no I shouldn't have. I wouldn't have been ready. In fact, I have no shot at being ready barring a miracle.
PEW: so what difference does it make


What the hell does she care, right? Irresponsibility was never a big deal to her. Better I just go and fail than to burn the class and take the quiz when I'm feeling a little more prepared.


LM: I can put my nose in the book and try to figure something out.
PEW: when
LM: S1's appt still on for tomorrow?
PEW: yes
LM: k
PEW: i think it's weird that the guy thinks that you can just run up there with no notice..... and I think it's weird that you just stayed home last night without talking to him first
LM: He's a PC geek that is full of his rhetoric about operating systems. I think you're looking to pick a fight and you better drop it quickly. How about you let me worry about my class?


Dude! Wake up, she's on the war-path! Looking back on this one, it ranks right up there with the money-stealing story in its absurdity.


PEW: i'll drop it allright.....
LM: Thank you.
PEW: shut up. i think you're up to something
LM: You know, PEW... I love how you ask me to leave you alone when you get PMS. Then, when I do, you find ways to poke at me. So then you can blame me for "being an ass" to you. Why all of a sudden are you concerned about me wanting to blow off a class? We are working on a project.
PEW: yeah...this is how you leave me alone....you don't go to school last night when my mom is here to help out.....
LM: Good bye. Leave me alone, please.
PEW: but you'll go up there tonight when I haven't been out of the house for 4 days


Classically honed victimhood skills, developed over a lifetime. It's amazing to me that on the 5th-night, when I have something to tend to, it's about her not being out of the house for 4 straight nights. Too bad I didn't think to ask her what stopped her from "going out" the prior 4-nights, not that it would have helped.


LM: Call your sister or someone else to fight with.
PEW: fuck you
LM: Okay? Thank you.
PEW: fuck you. fuck you
LM: Why are you making a fight out of me not going to class?
PEW: you sure you don't want to tell me more about your brother's game the other night
LM: And what would I tell you?
PEW: God....you are so self centered
LM: Just come out and accuse me, and get it over with? Drugs?
PEW: I don't know....more about the plays


I see! Two of my brothers played in an organized flag-football league. I managed to actually get to a game to watch them play. It was a lot of fun and I got to see the both of them make some very exciting, athletic plays. We all admired everyone's abilities, regularly rooted for one another, and were often excited to tell some tales. Apparently, my excitement saw me tell her about the experience and this was an imposition on her. The master at scuttling pretty much anything, but especially anything not about her, was at it again.


LM: Another woman?
PEW: I don't know and I don't really care. it would be her problem then wouldn't it
LM: Are you mad that I talked about their game? Sorry if I get some childish excitement out of watching my brothers play football. I won't burden you with that excitement in the future, I promise.
PEW: you are so selfish
LM: Why?
PEW: it's so funny.....you tell me to go fight with my sister or something...... you're the asshole who's been fighting with anyone and everyone
LM: Why am I selfish?
PEW: honestly
LM: Because I went to see my brothers play football? Because I blew off class?
PEW: because you didn't stay home last night because the boys were sick… yeah....ok
LM: Yeah, I guess that was selfish, using them as an excuse to stay home.
PEW: yeah
LM: Sorry about that.
PEW: i'm really getting tired of your bullshit. tired
LM: What bullshit?
PEW: just the bullshit
LM: Why does it bother you that I blew off class?
PEW: because now all the sudden you have to go tongiht
LM: I told him that I don't think I can make it tonight.
PEW: good because you can't. i'm going out. you went out monday..... you'll probably go out Friday. i'm going out tonight. I cancelled my freaking trip Saturday because I didn't want to leave you with the kids for 2-1/2 days. I really wish you wouldn't come home for lunch either. you're just annoying


PEW was a classic "tit-for-tat" personality. She was one who kept score - and she did so even when it didn't matter. I never stopped her from going out, seeing her friends, making plans, wanting some getaway time... never. Still, she always played victim to the hilt. The problem was, she was about as anti-social as they came. Her history was that she would need to get blind-drunk to "have a good time." Looking back, it was to cope with a social setting. Fortunately for her (health and well-being and that of the children), after S1 was born, she would get violently ill if she had more than 2-drinks. I can't explain why, it just was.

She would have 2 or 3 get-aways planned for the her parents' mountain retreat with her girlfriends. Usually, she would bail at the last minute for no particular reason (and ultimately blame me). This was one of those times. I have no idea why she undid the plans she had with everyone, but she did. She wasn't doing me any favors. I guess the fun of tormenting me was a more attractive proposition than going up the mountains with her pretend friends to just drink herself into a stupor again.

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