The Psycho Ex Wife

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In Part 3 of the Thanksgiving-Christmas headache, S2 had taken ill. This would lead to a bunch of tangential arguments and debates that were not uncommon from PEW.  Let’s conclude, shall we?

At the end of part 3, she brings up a reimbursement for dental expenses that she made into a complete disaster by not using the correct insurance cards I had given her. Then, she couldn’t get the claim situation straightened out. From there, she would badger me incessantly for the money back, too impatient to wait for me to get the reimbursement back and forward it to her. Entitlement. She screws up and I’m supposed to pay her back for her mistake immediately.

PEW,

I would love to be able to reimburse you, but unfortunately I am in no position to do that at this point. Worse… is I just called the insurance company and they have no record of receiving a claim form from you. They are emailing me one, but I imagine that I would need for you to send me all of the associated information. They said that the turnaround time on a faxed claim form is 7 business days. They won’t send it directly to you, they will send it to me, I can sign it and send it along to you. That’s the best I can do. OR… if you have a copy of the completed claim-form, the fax hotline is [fax number]. The could save at least a day.

~LM

Sounds like a good deal, right?

LM,

As far as the dentist, you are responsible for that $255.00. That’s ok though LM, anything to stick it to me. I’ll get it from you when we go to court…..that and my lost wages. I will fax the receipts tomorrow.

And No, the [Rocky's] cannot babysit for S2. I was looking for a family member.

~PEW

Oy-vey. That last comment was based on a suggestion to help her out of a jam she was in. She wanted the help but wanted to dictate who could do the covering for her. Unfortunately, my only available option was friends who didn’t believe her bullshit for one second and so they were painted black. (Many were in the aftermath of the split.)

I’m guessing she didn’t like that reply about the dentist, because what she did next without my knowledge completely defied explanation. In part 3, you’ll recall she described what the doctor said as “walking bronchitis” which she turned into pneumonia because the doctor wanted to spare her feelings. You know, because doctors do that. They tell you that a serious illness is something lesser so that the parent isn’t upset.

S2 was doing fine. The medication was working and he was well on his way back to health. Two days before Thanksgiving, she calls my oldest brother, the Thanksgiving dinner host, out of the blue and tells him that S2 has pneumonia. He immediately calls me with worry, not only for S2, but for every other guest that will be there, not the least of which is his daughter, my then 2-years old niece. His concern is legitimate based upon the information he was given. The unfortunate part was that the information he was given was totally exaggerated and he was wondering if I should be bringing an allegedly very ill child to Thanksgiving and putting everyone else at risk. I had to reassure him that everything was just fine and there was no reason for us to stay home.

Now, I can only think of one reason why PEW would pull such a stunt. That reason is to prevent us from spending Thanksgiving Day with our family. There was no other reason for her to make that call. No one in my family had heard from PEW in a long time at that point and they didn’t want to hear from her. But PEWs have a knack for rolling the grenade into the room and running.

When I find out, I’m understandably pissed.

PEW,

All righty, since I can’t get a straight answer from you regarding S2’s health, and because of your phone call to VAM last night – I called the Doctor’s office to find out what exactly S2’s diagnosis was. They informed me he had been diagnosed with bronchitis. Not “walking bronchitis.” Not “really walking pneumonia but the doctor was afraid to scare you by telling you walking pneumonia.”

Now, VAM expressed concern about exposure to others during Thanksgiving. According to the doctor, S2 should not be contagious, but I also need to find out if you got for him and have been giving him the antibiotic they prescribed? It would be helpful in making sure that I put to rest any fears anyone may have regarding my bringing S2 to Thanksgiving dinner.

Please let me know.

~LM

I’d say that’s reasonably calm, if a little sarcastic, given what transpired.

LM,

The Doctor said “walking Bronchitis”….what the hell do you mean you weren’t able to get a straight answer from me? I told you everything I knew and that was EXACTLY what he said. He said that it could very easily develop into pneumonia. I think it IS pneumonia because he’s wheezing and crackling. You LIED to the Dr.’s office when you said you were told he had pneumonia, that is NOT what I said to you. THat is what I said to your brother. Yes I got the antibiotics and am giving it to him as prescribed. Leave him home if people are worried about getting sick.

~PEW

Read that again. Aside from the fact that this is clearly NOT what she said or wrote to me, what kind of brain twists my doctor inquiry about being informed that S2 had pneumonia into me “lying” because that’s what my brother told me and not her? And… why the hell would that even matter? Dr. PEW, at your service. When she doesn’t like what any doctor tells her, she just makes into something that is “cooler” to her. We would go through this again in 2008 in the post Munchausen Syndrome Light or Hypochondriasis Light?

Life with her was like being in the fucking Twilight Zone.  Her out-of-the-blue phone call to my brother right before Thanksgiving was a clear-cut attempt to sabotage the holiday for the children and me.

PEW,

I didn’t tell the doctor what you said. I simply asked what his diagnosis was. And if you told VAM “pneumonia” - that’s still an answer from you that I got when I talked to him. Getting 3 answers from you in a span of two days is “not getting a straight answer.”

Why would you tell VAM he had pneumonia if the doctor said he had bronchitis? Good grief.

Anyway, I expect to pick the boys up in the neighborhood of 2PM. I expect to drop them off in the neighborhood of bedtime. If you would like to avoid having to dress them for bed, pack a bag with some bedtime stuff and I’ll dress them before I leave so I can drop them off and you can put them straight to bed.

~LM

This would lead to more doctor-bashing because they just weren’t telling me what SHE wanted anyone to hear.

LM,

Have you met Dr. Pediatrician? The student that was there said his lungs sounded terrible. Dr. Pediatrician came in and started telling me about his two, college aged sons, what they were doing, etc.etc…..he barely even listened to S2, he was too busy bragging about his own two kids. I am not taking the kids back there. S2 actually finally said “Are you ever gonna stop talking”. I think he has pneumonia and I will take him to a new Dr. (who isn’t a weirdo) next week.

You would think you would be thankful that your kids have a mother who cares about them the way I do, instead you’re too busy worrying about your self. I take very good care of the kids, in fact S2 probably never would have gotten this bad if he wasn’t stuck in a car for 8 hours over the weekend with re-circulated dirty air. Please leave me alone, I really can’t stand even emailing back and forth to you.

Either way, S2 is very sick and was sick with a fever when you dropped him off on sunday. You didn’t even mention anything to me. he was perfectly FINE when you picked him up on friday. Same deal with S1 the week before. They always come home from your house sick.

Call me before you come on tomorrow so I can have them ready and don’t even try to talk to me or I will call the police.

~PEW

Blame unto others as you would have others blame unto themselves.

She never, ever, ever does a fucking thing wrong. It’s always someone else, something else, or some act of God. It’s never the Psycho Ex-Wife. Anytime they’re sick, it always developed during the short duration that they were with me. Always, at least, according to her.

PEW,

He had that phlegmy cough when I picked him up Friday night, PEW. Ironically enough, one of the leading causes of his condition is being around cigarette smoke or living with a smoker. You still smoke in the car with them with the “window rolled down a little bit trying to blow the smoke out” as they have told me? Still spending lots of time with your smoking mother? Smoke residue in your house, on your clothes, wherever? You take good care of them but still smoke in front of them, smoke in the car with them… spare me the car trip and “circulating dirty air.” If you would stop smoking you would probably dramatically reduce his susceptibility to such a condition, particularly given his young history of RSV. Did the doctor tell you that or did you leave that out of potential contributing factors to his bronchitis?

Here’s a tip before you go doctor-hopping. Make sure you call and check to make sure that the new doctor that you choose accepts the insurance so you don’t go blaming me when there is a problem. You can even check at [insurance website] when you find a ‘non-weirdo’ doctor.

Why is it everyone else is always the one who is “nuts” or “a weirdo” or “sick” with you?

If you don’t want to have ridiculous email discussions, just give me a straight answer once in a while. Don’t agree to things then renege, then reverse reversals… it’s really easy if you would simply make an honest effort to be cooperative and not make an issue out of everything. Again, you say 3 different things and I have little choice but to call the office to get the actual diagnosis… in the meantime, you have everyone upset that S2 has pneumonia because you know better than the doctor.

~LM

Another recommendation I offer is for parents dealing with PEs get the necessary information from the most authoritative person on whatever the given issue may be.  I’ve learned now to simply call the doctor directly and not rely on PEW for any information about the kids’ health.  Do this with schools, daycares, whatever and whomever is the authority.  This way, you won’t put yourself in positions like this.

LM,

I don’t smoke in the house or in the car. I did smoke in the car one or two times over the summer on long trips. That is NOT why he has bronchitis. I don’t smoke around them, I smoke outside once or twice per day. Stop lying to yourself and everyone around you.

Since when do I say everyone else is “nuts” or a “weirdo” or “sick” ? Who else have I said that about besides you?

~PEW

Good grief, the bat-shit crazy loon only needed to go back ONE email to get the answer to that question. At least this time, she didn’t use the “ONE TIME” excuse like she normally lies. This time, it was “one OR two times.” Uh-huh.

That was all before Thanksgiving came and went exactly how we had finalized finally after the previous final finaling of the finality of all finals. From Thanksgiving right through Christmas and beyond - the dental claim would fester, but I’ll split that into a separate post and it’s so tiresome, I’m just going to cut and paste without commentary and let you do the commenting.

As for Christmas, you’ll remember back a segment or two that I was shut down on that issue because she had off on Christmas Monday and her mother had off the rest of the week and would be watching the kids. Fast-forward to the day after Christmas, 12/26/2005, when much to my surprise this email hits my in-box:

LM,

I’m wondering when you are planning on picking the kids up? I had offered to split this week with you, but you never responded?

~PEW

*sigh*

PEW,

The last information I got from you was that you were going to have them stay with your mother rather than come with me for the week. So I will be picking them up on Friday night.

~LM

Of course she’ll remember it differently…

LM,

The last message you got from me was that I wanted part of the week. If you don’t want the kids early that’s fine. I told you I’d split the week with you, but I wasn’t giving you the whole week. You didn’t want that though, because I know you wanted to return them before New Years Eve.

If you have a copy of that email where I said, the kids were spending the week with my mother, I’d like to see it in it’s entirety. I’m going to look for it as well because I distinctly remember saying that I was not giving up the whole week.

~PEW

See how she (and ALL PEWs) do that? She likes saying things like, “If you don’t want the kids early, that’s fine…” but that isn’t the truth now, is it? I absolutely wanted the children the entire week after Christmas and would have taken any extra time. She refused. Then, she emails me on the 26th to ask me when I’m picking them up, after holiday plans have long-since been made on the understanding that I would only get the kids at my regularly scheduled time. When I can’t do it, she implies it’s because I don’t want the boys. How childish.

Anyway, I work on re-arranging some things and to find out when the children go back to school. I will keep them through the weekend and Monday if they had off (and they did). She replied asking me to pick them up earlier that week because she thought she had the flu. I’m still not sure why didn’t know for certain being that she’s a doctor and all, but that’s not important.

PEW,

As for getting them early, I only can offer one option at this point. I have to work all week but can take them Wednesday night at the earliest. However, you would have to bring them here. I already have plans to come up there Friday evening to get them and my mother for the weekend.

If you want to arrange to drop them off on Wednesday evening or even Thursday evening, I most definitely would be thrilled to have them. Let me know.

~LM

So much for me not “wanting” extra time with the kids. However, I wasn’t going to do a double round-trip days apart. I had to go pick up my mother that Friday, so if she wanted to relinquish the children earlier, she was going to have to do some of the work.

LM,

I’m sick, how am I going to drive 8 hours? I have a fever, chills, etc…etc… Thanks for nothing once again.

~PEW

She was entirely welcome, poor girl. Big girl primary custodianship comes with big girl responsibilities. I picked them up Friday night and I kept them through Monday. Next time you read I never have done favors for her, please note that she asked me to keep them because she had to work and didn’t have childcare lined up. I was only too happy to oblige.