
The (Step)Mother Load
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Ten years ago if you had told me I’d be a stepmother one day I would have laughed at you. I had my list of “wants” in a man if I was ever in a long term relationship again, which always began with him having NO children. He would also have to be financially secure, have no tattoos, not ride a motorcycle, and not own guns. LM, is not that man, he’s the complete opposite. Our second date was at the tattoo parlor as I watched him get his family crest with S2’s birth date on his upper arm. Yet, that explains exactly why I’m with him, his sense of family.
Everyday I struggle with being a good stepmother, what does that entail, where are my boundaries since I’m in the precarious position of providing for my stepsons while having no legal rights. How do I protect myself and my children? Everyday we get emails asking how I handle these situations, so I decided to respond today, and also ask on our message boards to see if there were any other questions you wanted answered. This is going to be a long post, so sit back, enjoy, and please leave a comment if you have any other questions!
How in the name of God is someone supposed to parent four teenaged boys and deal with a PEW, and keep their sense of humor? I can’t predict the future, but I’m going to guess it involves narcotics and a few vacations at a psych ward. We are heading there ourselves with 3 boys and 1 girl, who have barely 2.5 years between them. We will have 4 kids in high school at one time, and then college. I’m scared, hold me? What I’ve always said, ever since my ex was scared of bringing our daughter home, is that you have to take it one day at a time and you grow along with your children. You aren’t going to be thrown 4 teenagers without having the experience of knowing who they are. I thought it was important to be there for my kids when they were little, but I’m beginning to think that parents should actually work more when they are little and be there when they are hitting this age! This is where they can make the biggest mistakes of their lives. We are working on keeping the lines of communication open, my kids actually beg us to have family talk hour every night where we discuss the issues they could face in middle school next year. With the kids it’s all about trust, BOTH ways, not just you trusting them. Continue Reading…


